Sexual over-compensation?

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Gear Jammer

I don't know if I'm the only one, but since I just joined, I thought I'd put the question out there...

Since my surgery over 6 years ago, my wife and I have had an amazing sex life. We're both in our mid-30's and have been getting a lot more adventurous and frequent in the bedroom. It is amazing how that comes back when one of you isn't dead-tired anymore, and the other isn't worrying!

The issue now is this: I had a very close brush with death during my surgery, and don't want to leave myself wishing I had done things but never had the chance. All my life, I have been a little more sexually adventurous, wanting to try some "naughtier" stuff, but feeling sick all the time I didn't have the energy! Now that I feel a lot healthier, I've been having more and more thoughts of playing around!

we have chatted about dipping our toes into the swinger lifestyle, but we are both afraid of rejection... Mostly because of how someone might react about my ostomy bag... I've even had a stronger urge to satisfy my bi-curious side, but again fall short of trying anything because of fear of being rejected because of the bag...

Am I the only one feeling this way?

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Chris South

I can't say that I'm in the "swinger" lifestyle, but being bisexual does give me a view on acceptance when it comes to sex.

What I have seen, sorry to say, is a much higher rejection rate when it is discussed upfront in email conversations. When I bring it up in an email conversation, I usually get a "thanks, but no thanks" kind of reply. But I get a much more positive response when I bring it up in person. Part of it may be that there are plenty of guys out there so someone may think "why worry about his bag when I can find another guy?" but when meeting in person the thought may be "I've gone this far, why not give him a chance?"

And once I've "gone this far", I've never been rejected. I guess it's fear of the unknown on someone else's part.

As for your wife and you swinging, I'm going to guess you wouldn't have a problem if your wife is participating (as opposed to meeting a guy alone). You would probably want to meet someone publicly anyway before doing anything with them and that would be a good chance to discuss your ostomy pouch (that is if you feel you want to move forward).

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Gear Jammer

Thanks for replying, Chris! You brought up some great points that I didn't really think about... Perhaps holding back until we meet is a much better idea!

I have found this week that the various guys that I have been texting with have mostly accepted any pics that I have sent them where the bag has slipped into view... Perhaps their attention WAS caught somewhere else.)

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