You are NOT Alone!! I'm not a gay young man. Actually, I'm an "old" straight female ( 66) but I got sick with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 12, and had my first ( ileostomy) surgery when I was 15. I had been so sick, that I was grateful for the surgery, and the fact that I could go back to "real life". It also helped that my parents forced me to attend Ostomy Association meetings where I met other young people. We actually formed our own Young adult group, so that we could hang out, and discuss issues important to us....dating, & sex.
Don't you think young straight girls are SURE that those handsome young men, want girls with beautiful "perfect" bodies? Actually, I don't think any young woman thinks she has a "perfect body".
To be be honest, some people, gay or straight are looking for what they perceive as "perfection".
But my surgery was a matter of life or death. And even at my young age, I knew that life was a more important choice, and anyone who was going to be so shallow, as to not want me because of my imperfect body.....well then that person wouldn't be for me.
I'm not telling you it's easy, but I dated nice "young" men back then. For some it was a problem...and for others it wasn't. I married, had two children, divorced, and am back out in that dating scene again, for the last 20 years. And as I found "back then", my ostomy matters to "some" and not to others. Frankly, I think my weight is more of an issue than my surgery.
I think it would be somewhat the same in the gay community. I do know, that before you can expect anyone else to accept your "imperfections" you have to be ok with yourself.
I have a friend ( who went through the same thing I did) who truly believes that if she had been able to wear a "neat little bikini", she would have been a lot happier in her life. Sigh... She was a beautiful, tall, athletic, active teen/ woman, and was able to wear a two piece...with an ostomy. But it wasn't the bikini she dreamed of. Like me, she is 66, and is still lamenting that old "song". So sad really.... I wish you the best... Reach out to others in the gay community, and you'll probably find there are people who are going through the same things you are. "Disease" doesn't really play "favorites". Stay in touch, reach out, ask question, and ask for help when you need it. We try to be there for those who ask.