You are NOT Alone!!¬†¬† I'm not a gay young man.¬† Actually, I'm an "old" straight female ( 66) but I got sick with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 12, and had my first ( ileostomy) surgery when I was 15.¬† I had been so sick, that I was grateful for the surgery, and the fact that I could go back to "real life".¬† It also helped that my parents forced me to attend Ostomy Association meetings where I met other young people.¬† We actually formed our own Young adult group, so that we could hang out, and discuss issues important to us....dating,¬† & sex.¬†
¬† Don't you think¬† young¬† straight girls are SURE that those handsome young men, want girls with beautiful "perfect" bodies?¬† Actually, I don't think any young woman thinks she has a "perfect body".
To be be honest, some people, gay or straight are looking for what they perceive as "perfection".
¬†¬† But my surgery was a matter of life or death.¬†¬† And even at my young age, I knew that life was a more important choice, and anyone who was going to be so shallow, as to not want me because of my imperfect body.....well then that person wouldn't be for me. ¬†
I'm not telling you it's easy, but I dated nice "young" men back then.¬† For some it was a problem...and for others it wasn't.¬† I married, had two children, divorced, and am back out in that dating scene again, for the last 20 years.¬† And as I found "back then",¬† my ostomy matters to "some" and not to others.¬† Frankly, I think my weight is more of an issue than my surgery.¬†
I think it would be somewhat the same in the gay community. ¬† I do know, that before you can expect anyone else to accept your "imperfections" you have to be ok with yourself. ¬†
I have a friend ( who went through the same thing I did) who truly believes that if she had been able to wear a "neat little bikini", she would have been a lot happier in her life.¬† Sigh... ¬† She was a beautiful, tall, athletic, active teen/ woman, and was able to wear a two piece...with an ostomy. ¬† But it wasn't the bikini she dreamed of. ¬† Like me, she is 66, and is still lamenting that old "song".¬† So sad really.... ¬†¬† I wish you the best... ¬† Reach out to others in the gay community, and you'll probably find there are people who are going through the same things you are.¬† "Disease" doesn't really play "favorites". ¬† Stay in touch, reach out, ask question, and ask for help when you need it.¬† We try to be there for those who ask. ¬†