Hmmm....where to begin.......
I'm a 36 year old ostomate of 12 years now......I have Crohns disease and as a result, had to have an ileostomy in 1995......
Now, before I went in for the surgery, my gf at the time knew what to expect but she had some concerns about my body image......I basically told her that if she couldn't handle me having a "bag" hanging off my gut, I would understand, but at the same time I asked her to put herself in my position...
Since my surgery, I can't count how many different ladies I've had the pleasure of knowing intimately on my fingers and toes....*evil grin*....Although my gf and I were on and off over 11 years, I had the privilage to get other womens opinion.....
Before I got married, when I was out with friends or on a date, I'd usually get the "I was sick with this and therefore had to have surgery" bomb out of the way right off the bat......but I would strategically talk about it....waiting for an opportunity to talk about it.....I'd be like, "Oh yeah...I got this scar from my groin to my mid chest and needless to say, I don't take a crap like everyone else does...".....most of the time it got a laugh...
Now, I know I'm not the most handsome guy in the world, (but I'm damn cute...lol) but I can be VERY charming.....but at the same time straight forward.....don't let having an ostomy stop you from having a love / social life........I've only had one female friend that was grossed out about the fact of me having a bag......and I figure if a person can't look over the fact that you have an "appliance", then they aren't worth your time....plain and simple....
As for me, I'm happily married now.....and PAIN free....before my surgery, I was in constant pain, running to and from the bathroom like 5-6 times a day, and intimacy was the furthest thing from my mind because I was afraid I'd have a sudden urge to go to the bathroom or gas...etc..etc.......My ostomy was a Godsend.....and it gave me a whole new outlook on life.....
If by chance, regardless if you're a guy or girl.....if someone whences when you tell them you have an appliance, give them the benefit of the doubt.....most people are understanding......but if they treat you like you're diseased, do this....
With as much dignity as you can muster...(without laughing of course), lift up your shirt or blouse; point to your stoma and kindly tell that person to "kiss your ass"........