Hello everyone. My name is Bobby. I'm fairly new to my ileostomy and very new to this site. I happened upon it as I was searching for something or someone who may can relate to my life and what I'm going through at this time.
I feel that the topic of me wearing a bag is a hush hush area of my life. Something meant to be hidden. Something dirty and undesirable, something that can't possibly be understood by others who don't have my condition.
I have been going it alone even where family is concerned. It's something that I refuse to talk about. I have been a very healthy man all my life. I'm a retired Marine and took pride in my health. My ileostomy didn't come about through illness or disease. I was injured while serving in the war in Iraq.
I feel ashamed of my bag and the fact that I'm now heavily involved in the medical community. I haven't fully accepted myself now as I am. Relationships with family and friends have become extremely strained. A possible future relationship with a woman seems far out of reach and may not ever be obtainable.
I get depressed and frustrated and even angry sometimes. I had to even dress differently and don't do the things I once loved. Sometimes I wake up feeling like it's some kind of very bad dream.
I have come to the realization that I must reach out and get help and what better place than a ostomy group.
I hope to get some kind of relief here and learn some things. There is so much that I don't know or even how to begin. I have so many unanswered questions and seemingly overwhelming doubts and concerns. I have always been a very independent man and solved everything that came at me. I know that I need guidance and direction. I would love to enjoy and love life again.
Thank you for listening, I'm very grateful,
Bobby