twas the night before christmas...here in kentucky
ole G was a thinking...that he might get lucky
i hung all the lights and took out the trash
now pull up that nighty and show me some a$$
wife turned her back..with a quick toss
"why dont you.... go out and get lost"
it`s christmas i said...my sweet little lamb
she pulled up the covers...."i dont give a damn"
but baby i said...it comes once a year
get in the bed...and dont touch my rear
desperate i said...i`ll get you a maid
it is no matter...you`ll still not get laid
quickly i think...come up with a plan
what about that diamond...i`v bought for your hand
off flys the nighty...it lands by her purse
ok big spender...lets see the ring first
quick now brain...come up with some lie`s
...its still at the jewelers...getting resized
ok big spender...go ahead ... take me
damn i just remembered...john waynes on tv
never mind wife...you need your sleep
i`ll turn it way down...you wont hear a peep!!!