Struggling with Body Image and Intimacy After Ostomy

I'm considering getting a wrap done by them. I bought another one that you cut yourself and yes, I do believe I've ruined that one. Using a wrap is going to be a must for me, it looks like. Between just walking around or getting back to riding, I need one. The weight, I believe, causes me more skin irritation than needed. Intimate moments are still at dressing and bag changes. But that's fine since I'm not healed. Either way, my health comes first and the wound needs to heal.  

Guess I just need to go ahead and order a wrap from them. My only chance in getting back to my feet without this bag not feeling like a part of me!  

Great reply to a newbie for sure! Thank you for the insight!

Stay blessed and by all means, healthy! Jenn

Hi Jen, I hear what you're saying but I didn't write "self image." But welcome to the site. Angelicamarie

Hi, the wrap is useful whether for normal wear or intimate moments and it's I guess the case that maybe a few manufacturers do them. I think that they say that you need a size down for intimate moments. I am a 34-inch waist and use a medium mostly (male differs from female sizes with Ostomy secrets). Comfizz does wraps that are not pocket-like and they are handy too as they can be worn over an elastic belt if using one. Ostomy secrets has, I believe, a US arm too.

With wounds, there may be some mileage on approaching a manufacturer who can create a specialized waistband which can accommodate a dressing. Though mostly I guess one works around a problem with what one has.

For a man or woman, the stoma shield is useful but less vital if your stoma is lower. I guess it can also be used to stop abrasion on a waist-height wound? A lot is trial and error. We have the NHS in the UK which helps, but it does not cover all needs.

Good wishes. Stephen

Hi gyrfalcon371, good morning to you. I didn't write that blog. Best wishes, angelicamarie.

Angelicamarie - Hi, sorry it was a further message to the author of the blog!

Jenn - Hi, see above for further ideas about wraps and the like!

Hi, Hen is not the author either. Have a great day

This is late.

If you feel uncomfortable/hate your body, then your partner will too.

If you feel self-confident and unembarrassed in and of your body, this will make things much easier for your partner.

It's liberating to go to a nude beach, a public shower in a gym, a sauna, ... you get the idea. The first time is hard, but it gets easier.

We all need to remember we have this condition not because we did something stupid, like got drunk and wreaked our car, it's a surgery which saved our lives and we should not be embarrassed by that fact and the result.

All the best for you.

Mike Q

Hi ycats, there are men and there are real men - men who can love you and want to make love to you no matter what your body looks like. You sound like you are thinking you have to please him no matter what but guess what - no you don't, he needs to please you and come up to your expectations. If a guy can't or can't be bothered loving you deep down and feels threatened by your body, then he's no man in my books.

Having said that, you sound very fragile, so why not give sex a break for a while until you feel more confident. Maybe buy yourself some sexy gear and put it in the drawer for later. You need your confidence improved and no one can do that for you except you. But a nice guy might accelerate the option of self-love again.

I'm in my second marriage and dated quite a bit in between to say that you read like you are trying too hard, too soon. I've got a body with scars all over, double mastectomy, and ileostomy pouch, but my man says I've got a great body. Love is in the eye of the beholder.

Stay calm, have a break, and go back when you have more confidence - but maybe not to that one!

Laurel

When I had my colostomy, I bought several colorful tube tops. I would put those around my waist and I bought them big so I could wear a couple at a time and bunch them up so my colostomy bag didn't show through. It's very hard to feel sexual when you are wearing a colostomy bag, I will be the first to admit it. But my husband was grateful I "came around" because he didn't have the same opinion of my body as I did, and I'm certain it's the same in your situation too!!!