Gem88? Hi! Your stoma nurse is making medical decisions for you? She has, what, 2 years of college? Even, maybe, a 4-year nursing degree?
Here in the USA, Doctors do about 7 years of university and another few years on the floor before they are legally allowed to diagnose patients. They WORK for it. Sure, there will always be a few crappy doctors But most doctors have put too much time and money into this, and are striving to do well in their field.
Talk to your doctor, and if you're not convinced, ask a different doctor. Might not seem easy with National Health but if NOT another English doctor, does NatHealth cover Scotland? and if not, You could have a getaway in France and figure to stay and eat cheap to work a little doctor bill into your holiday. . . an extra 40 pounds?
Your nurse obviously doesn't know s**t. If she did, she wouldn't be giving you surgical advice or ANY advice which shouldn't be given unless you actually WENT to med school, which your nurse obviously DIDN'T.
Many other patients would do well if you reported your stoma nurse, Send it to a few hospital administration folks. Get on the internet, find head-of-department, top administrator, marketing director, top department doctor, and top patient relations person. You could actualy just send a copy of this post, you wrote clearly and well, and it should get the higher-ups motivated.
Get help. This is not normal. Your stoma nurse is NOT help. Go around her, get rid of her. Get PROPER medical care.
Wishing you the best, keep us posted!