Finding Peace: Overcoming Constant Stoma Worries

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xnine

Do you ever not think about your stoma? I cannot get it out of my mind. Are you full? Are you leaking? Is your bag on tight? Change now or later? What about now? Can I go to sleep? Do I have to get up? What are you doing? Are you going to do something? What about now? Questions, questions, it never stops. It wears one down.

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Sasquatch

Yes, I think about mine quite a bit, but it has gotten better the further along I've gotten. A lot of these things, especially the checks, have become second nature to me. Most of the time I can discreetly check my bag just by running my hand over it. It eases my mind when I can relax a while, or do daily things without the thought of my bag, or bag-related issues popping into my head.

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Past Member

What I think about is when I eat once a day. At my ratio, I have good movement from 4 am until 6 am. The rest of the day, I'm dry. But around 7 pm, very little if any. If I don't eat in the evening, I drink juice or milk. Still, the thought is there to check on my pouch and see how long it's been on me. I cut my holes max open and change frequently. Always mindful of now I can crap my shirt. Good thing is I never need adult diapers. I'm burnt out. Jerz.

Past Member

I don't give it a second thought. I've had a stoma for longer than I ever had a colon. It's just normal to me.

Past Member

I had a brown eye for 58 years. Long time away before some of us not think about stoma. Some people just don't let nothing stop them from life. I just don't know how you can't think of your next move. Never thought about getting shot. Still don't. Some people are very strong-minded. Jerz.

 
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kbd

I don't know how long you have had your ostomy, but over time you think about it less and less. You get into a habit of almost subconsciously checking to see if it is full, then forgetting about it. I think you get more confident as time goes on and you gain experience and knowledge.

Mrs.A

I don't think I ever stop knowing it's there, but I don't have constant questions going through my mind. Each time you change, empty, or do any of the functions we deal with tending to our needs, knowing you've completed that function well should ease your mind. If you're second-guessing, put it out of your head, immediately change the subject... it's in your control... You can choose to think of something else if you want to be strong enough to let it go!

iMacG5

Hi Xnine.  Glad you mentioned it.  I wrote something about that some time ago but I work so hard at not thinking about the stoma, I forgot what I wrote about it.  My stoma consumed my thoughts, controlled my emotions and influenced my dispopsition. About a month after surgery I was very carefully raking leaves and after about 20 minutes I felt better than I did in a long time.  I was shocked by the realization that I didn't think about the stoma during that entire time.  That was the first twenty minutes my stoma wasn't overpowering my thoughts.  I felt good, very good.  I felt like I was a different person physically and emotionally.  I started thinking about all the time I spent worrying about all the things that could go wrong.  Pretty much, nothing did go wrong and all the worrying wouldn't have prevented it anyway.  So I decided to ignore my new appendage and fill my head with all the good things in my life starting with my life. I got back to the music I so love and listened better and enjoyed it more than  ever.  I spent more time with my wife away from home.  Maybe the casino, church, movies or just walking around stores.  

I know we feel pain in parts of our bodies that have been cut, manipulated, rearranged, etc.  But that doesn't compare to the pain of severe anxiety and/or depression.  When our minds take over our bodies, we're screwed!  

Half of the questions that overwhelm us and control our minds don't need to be asked.  Stuff happens and I'm not smart enough to guarantee everything is going to just glide smoothly along.  Even that could get boring.  It can all be good if we just let it.

Forgive me if I seem like I'm bragging or preaching.  I just feel blessed that I got where I am and barely remember the bad times. Maybe it's a matter of perception but perception is all that matters.  I wish you well and feel like you'll be way better, way sooner than you expected.

Respectfully,

Mike

Beshlie

In the beginning, I was very aware of my stoma when I was learning how to cope with it and making mistakes! Now, 22 months later, most of the time, I forget it is there unless it suddenly becomes active and I have to go empty or change my bag. I find I automatically smooth my hand over it now and then. I just accept that I do things in a different way, and now it has become my new normal. But, after 2 years of being housebound as I couldn't leave the bathroom, my stoma gave me my life and freedom back. So, that probably makes a difference, plus I chose to have it rather than waking up from surgery with the shock of it, and I think that makes a difference.

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