Bag Interference During Intimate Moments: Any Solutions?

Well, you might try tying them up first or handcuffing them to something really heavy (the bumper of your car maybe)!!
Well, maybe we better go with Tara's idea first.

http://www.ostomyconfidence.com/

This is a very helpful website and another good one is: My Heart Ties.

I wish these had been available to me 18 years ago when I first had my ileostomy surgery. My husband was very understanding and loving, but these new things would have helped raise my self-esteem and confidence. I buy colorful cloth from Walmart to make pouch covers with; they are made of cotton and I stay cool "down under". I had to use my imagination and it turned out to be somewhat fun too! Like Tara says, it does get better and better, don't give up!

I hope this helps you guys and gals.

It's all the messy stuff at the end of sex, I don't like!! You know, like getting your wallet out and paying!!! LOL

Awe, gee Walter you left that one wide open. Thought being married and/or paying for it were the same things/came with the deal... lmao... Ah not saying all, but gee, what I have seen at times, you could be forgiven if you thought it anything more than a paying job... ok later...

Tara, I will have to see your little shower cap. Great idea, darl. But should I go to their place after a night out? Should I take one with me? Lol. Talk to you later. And please, please show me. Cheers, darz. And guys, lie down. Let us do the work. We know what we want. Hahahah.

Hey there girl, well you can take a peek at this idea now... Took some pics and put them in the photo album on here... Not the best quality, but will have to do.... Hope you can see them ok. Such a simple idea, but a life-saver to boot. And not a worry in the world to carry one with you. I have one in each room of my home. Lmao.... And one in each handbag... Well you just never know hey..... And they say the one you miss out on is the one you will never get back.... Oh damn, now I'm getting the picture. Let me know what you think... Thanks...

Long time ileostomate, first time poster:
Hi everyone. I just wanted to comment on the swimming/spa/hot bath topic, and maybe throw my two cents in about the sex thing.

I swim every single day in the summer (which is no exaggeration, although summer doesn't last very long here in North Bay, Ontario, CA) with absolutely no side effects on my bag. I wear Coloplast 12455, which is termed extended-wear for my ileostomy. The bag dries shortly after, or right away if I take the time to towel it off, which I normally don't have the opportunity to do. I also wear a normal one-piece bathing suit, in black, and find I don't have any issues. I even had a family friend comment after a day of family fun at the beach, "I don't want to say the wrong thing here, but I had to ask your Dad which side the bag was on. I couldn't see it at all!"
I also have a great fondness for hot baths, especially when I am having a bout of pain, and can soak for almost an hour before I get bored. Again, no side effects. I can keep that bag going for 4-5 days if I keep a good eye on it, no matter if I've been swimming or bathing, etc.

Lastly, I've found that a nice little piece of lingerie is all I need to keep that bag out of the show, and make me feel like the vixen I am. I own a few pieces that come down to mid-thigh, like little dresses, or I throw a sexy little cami on that comes down just far enough to cover. The only thing then is the crinkly noises, but my mate is much too busy and happy to notice. Unfortunately, I broke up with my mate in June, so Lori is looking for a man who has a bag of his own. Life would be so much easier to have someone in the same place as me.

Anyway, I hope I've added something beneficial to the forum! And I look forward to getting to know everyone here! Drop me a line, and wishes of health to all of you!

Lori

Hello all.
I wanted to let you know, after a long recovery, I have finished my website showing the OstomyShell I designed after my ostomy.
I made my first one by hand and put my pre-ostomy lingerie over it, and I almost felt like before the body disfigurement. Yeah.
I decided I wanted everyone who had struggled as much as I had should have more to choose from, and I set to a slow but constant project.
Almost 3 years later, it's ready.
Check it out.
www.ostomyshell.com
Wishing you all love, peace, and happiness. A full life with confidence.
Ina

Hello, I found the next best thing to being naked. It's called "Wear Close". This is Intimate Active Ostomy Apparel. I purchase it online from www.wearclose.com and it works great. I really like it. I hope you like it too.

HELLO TO ALL. I'VE HAD MY ILEOSTOMY FOR OVER 5 YEARS NOW AND I STILL CAN'T BE INTIMATE? WHEN I TRY, I JUST FREAK OUT AND RUN AWAY. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I'M SINGLE? I REALLY DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

Jadegenie40,
I just posted a reply but it didn't work, so I'll try again.
Are you male or female? At what stage do you go running?
I hope that you don't mind me asking these questions.
I was married when I had my op and am single now. Since being single, I have had my moments but not having any now. I have struggled with body image but it's not stopped me when the time comes. I have problems in meeting anyone.
I have found something to wear at times like this and will post details maybe tomorrow as I can't at the moment.
Poppy

I think having sex is hard, especially for singles who have never had sex before their ostomy and/or it's the first time after surgery.
There is just so much stress on the person, I think that's what makes people freak out once the 'nasty' is about to happen.

On a brighter note:
What things have you found about sex that you like now after surgery?

Any tricks of the trade?

I know dancing with a person isn't sex, but it can be pretty 'intimate', being so close to another person's body. I try to make sure before I go out that night to not eat anything I know will pass quickly because I'm going to be drinking water to stay hydrated from 3 hours of either clubbing or swing/charleston dancing. I have felt so much more comfortable also wearing those 'boyshort' undies and wearing the bag to the side. It's less noticeable under my skin-fitting clothing.

Hi all,
I also am wearing those knickers that are close fitting in the 'shorts' style, really comfortable. My mother saw them drying on my line in the summer and thought I was doing washing for a secret man.
I had my confidence shattered when I had my surgery in December 2006. My husband left me, so I came home to an empty house. Self-esteem at its lowest!
I had a very close friend of several years (male). He has given me the confidence I needed, paid me compliments, and after several months of building my strength up and getting out and about again, we sat down and had a conversation about how we felt about each other. Well... the inevitable happened and I was on top of the world. Of course, I am to this day conscious about the bag, especially when it starts making 'raspberry' sounds because I'm being energetic! LOL
We have found that spooning is the best or doggy... haha. I have never used anything to strap the thing close to me, but wear quite a small bag anyway. Got a few other positions together now... I'm too shy to explain, you get the picture.
Everyone take care and keep loving.
Michelle xxx

Hi folks, mmm... doggie... My favorite... plus I like the woman on top, helps keep the legs and ass-cheeks firm... Hell any sex is the best exercise you can get... AND... the best subject ever. So why am I missing out? Oh, that's right, my guy is not here... Anyway, I like any position as long as I'm involved. Don't think I'll go back on the swingers scene again... even though it was a blast. Hehehehehe. Ok, maybe a bit too much info. Cya's

Tried that, dog didn't really care for it and tries to bite me now when I walk by....... Seriously now.... what is "spooning"??? It sounds so naughty.... and makes me a little hungry too!!

This talk reminds me of a joke... Do you know how they practice "safe sex" in New Zealand??? They mark an X on the sheep that kick.

Just give me a minute! I have to get up off the floor. OK then, that was great. Mild manner, may I please use this one? And tarra, I have to go with you on that thought too! We should start a thread on Dreamland.4 us.

Hi all! Heard similar, but it's how it was delivered that makes :twisted:. Will finish later.

boss2me

Sure Tom, go ahead.

Has nobody answered this guy? Spooning is where the guy is right behind the woman holding her close.
Best part about it is that you're laid on your side so arms and legs don't get tired and you can go at it for as long as it takes, lol.
Give it a try folks, it's even safe to leave the light on too.

Michelle x

Thanks Curly... was trying to find this post for 2 days... Never said I was clever.... anyway G, I'm shocked... A man of the world like yourself and you have to ask what spooning is?!! Could have blown me over with a whistle. Spooning is the best position for a lot of things... Great way to fall asleep too... And you need to know if you're the big spoon (the one behind the other) or the little spoon (the one being spooned). But if you're planning to do more than just spoon and go to sleep, beta make sure the big spoon is the one with the extension cord and not the plug, okay... Otherwise, there will be some shoveling going on... hehehe... I like to swap that role... big spoon one night, little spoon the next... and this is to go to sleep with... I know where your mind was going then. (I'm only capable of being the little sexual-spoon... i.e., the receiver not the giver.) Well, if I don't go now, I'm going to need that shovel to dig myself out of this one... later mwah!!!!

Thank you ladies for the explanation, I have never heard that term before.
I must say I am a bit disappointed, was hoping ice cream or something similar requiring a "spoon" was involved. If you ladies could combine food and sex.... well us men wouldn't have a chance (do we anyhow??)
Hey, that reminds me... never fry bacon naked.... don't ask how I know this!!
Come on guys, back me up here....... would there be anything more sexy than a beautiful naked woman covered in bacon???? ;

Hi all:

Hey G, Tara, and Curly Pussycat, all that spooning does get the appetite a little worked up. And bacon sounds inviting. Wish I had some. Mr. G, have you ever had Canadian back bacon? This too would be good with a spoon. So when you ladies talk about spooning, is that like mooning? I would enjoy that! Oh, that's just sick. As for the spooning, is this spoon a teaspoon or a tablespoon? Man, I am getting hungry. I have also heard of knifings, mostly in the big cities. Have any of you ladies tried some forking before? 'Cause this sounds good too. You ladies just like treating us men like a blood utensil, and we have feelings too, you know. And for the big jobs, you could use a shovel. That would be just so weird. Hopefully, I have helped you, mild manner, and that's what us men do - "stick together" type of guys. Sort of thing.

Bostomy

Mmmm, ok then Bostomy..lol....well this conversation could get fun. As far as the bacon goes...well you guys can have that. I see way too much of it at work, and if it's not crispy, I won't eat it. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm going off-track here. Someone better or it's going to get to R-rated.. Not that I would mind, anyway food and sex.. what a great conversation. Should we even go there? Oh hell why not. Honey-whipped cream-Maltesers....that's all I'm saying..

Well, I'm not so sure about beautiful naked women covered in bacon! LOL, as a vegetarian I much prefer something sweet, makes the whole event one big dessert.....
Anyway, that's a great ice breaker too, don't you think? At least if the two of you (presuming there are only two) are having a giggle with food, making a mess and stuff, the whole subject of the 'something extra' we are wearing pales into significance.
After all, the subject here is how to cope with it 'getting in the way'. I think I've resurrected the original posting and got it back on track..... LOL

Keep loving
Michelle x

Did we drift off topic??? Anyhow, I'm not a vegetarian, I'm a Sagittarius!!! Lol, just teasing you. Anyhow, the discussion doesn't really get good sometimes until you drift just a bit.
Tom, sorry but just American bacon for me... Although I'm sure your Canadian stuff is good too. I take my bacon crispy too, Miss T.

Hi guys, Michelle, and thanks by the way. We did go off track a little, but as G says, it can be fun for a little while... Plus, can't all these things just about help cover up what we are all trying to hide anyway?... lol... I know a couple of slices of bacon would cover mine... and an egg on each... umm!... yeah, okay, well might be a tad hot, so think I might stick with you Michelle on the sweets instead. Bostomy, sorry can't comment on American bacon, never had it. I do know you guys love bacon with pancakes that are smothered in maple syrup... Hey there ya go!! Can kill two birds with the one stone... Bacon for... Pancakes for... oh never mind... Next!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi
I just use a wide bandage fold up the bottom and put bandage around.
Seems to work well had no problems at all .....

Hey, fairly new to the site. I too love beautiful women and bacon...err...I mean. I always use the marshmallow and tape method for the whole sex scenario. Marshmallows will slow the output down pretty well, and I tuck up like most have mentioned. I put tape on the pouch, then another piece of tape as a fastener, so the first piece keeps you from ripping the pouch or pouch cover once it is removed and you are spooning and eating bacon.

Well done, you got most things to happen all in the one round.. Shame the dessert comes before the main.... Love ya way of thinking.. I find also if the job gets done right, half an hour later I'm out looking to eat a cow I'm so hungry....

A was paranoid at first but now it's a big part of my life. A don't care, A just let it flap about. LOL

Hi guys, I am new here, with some input,
for those intimate moments check out
www.intimatemomentsapparel.com
She has great cover-ups for both male and female.
She's a 3-time cancer survivor and a double ostomate.

Just thought I'd pass this tidbit of info along.