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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 6:43 pm

Having read all the lit I can find, not one document addresses this obvious question: Does the stoma remain inactive during sex? Or can you have a release at any time? I have a feeling I won't like the answer.  A padded Stoma cover is so conforable and not at all intrusive, but it will not protect me from my stoma when it becomes active.  It always sems to be active. Any and all answers will be read and appreciated. dls

  Past Member
Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:14 pm

hi from Baltimore.it depends on if you eat before and how many times a day you eat.timing is everything with stoma.i don’t pass stool unless I start eating will im having sex.and bye the way if you don’t make any deal with your ostame theay don’t mind.my dates just look up and smile if you smile and don’t make much of it you will fiend ways to cover up untill your don.a little may come through but if you control your diet you can have fun.jerz looking at you 

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:59 pm

I have an ileostomy it can have output at any time. I use a maternity wrap band to keep bag secure during and most of the day when im out.

  Past Member
Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 12:11 am

Your output depends entirely on your diet.  Timing of output...you'll find a groove.  I'm active 1hr after eating, and 6hrs after eating that same meal.  In between, yeah, sometimes there's some output, but it's not a huge amount for me.  This is very individual.  To note-if you exercise very intensely, your guts completely turn off during the activity, zero output.  But once the activity ends, your guts will become active.  You should be intense..bang your partner and don't worry so much

Matt   

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:29 am

Hello  dls.  I note from your profile that you have a colostomy.  Worries about output can be almost completely resolved if you can irrigate. I would strongly suggest looking into this process as it will make life so much more manageable as all the output is concentrated into a much shorter timespan and you will then be free from output until the next irrigation session. It's not for everyone but well worth giving it a trail period to see how you get on.

There are plenty of past posts on irrigation in the 'Premium Content' section if you want to see what others have had to say on the subject. 

Best wishes

Bill

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 4:54 am

You know what, right there is probably the best advise you can get, this Canadian got it going on, straight to the point, you could even call it honest. That is because 'digestion' is hardly ever brought up. Why? Because it can be nasty talking about it! But it is not, as you can see from this comment. 

I work part-time. The days I work, about ten days a month, I totally fast. Not only that, I use the high-output two-piece system from Hollister, which is wonderful for the days I work. If there is a suddent output which happens here and there, no problem, no worries, keep working. I do this because I do not like dealing with bullshit when I am working, and fasting keeps my weight in check. Now, like my buddy here said, just bang away man. And follow the example just given. This is someone that knows his digestion to a T, when, what, how, etc. A Food Scientist I would say. If you don't become a food scientist of your own crap, you are lost. We are all different, all of us. I fast, some people might find that extreme, but I hate being fat, so it works because I like to eat, and I also work out.  Just find your groove once you are the master of your domain, aka 'you are the new colon so better study well'. 

My take, and many would disagree, is the day I bang, I don't eat, period. Once I bang, we binge, how is that? There are all kinds of things you can buy today to have a hell of a good time. There are this very discreet bags, very small, you can use just for a few hours, and frees you from a bigger piece. There are so many options. I think the key is the confidence you read in this comment. If you feel confident, you rule.

Once you know your digestion, energy, comfort levels, then you need confidence. I believe personally giving this condition too much thought is to drive yourself crazy. Do you know what to do once you get there? Do you know where all the pieces are, what they do and what you can do, how to throw some fuel to the fire; that is way more important than 'the bag'. Knowing your digestion is the first step to freedom, then personalize it. It is much simpler than it appears. I would not care if my partner had a balloon and my head was hitting against it, after two full glasses of wine, it is all good. 

Do as the Romans do, be a Hedon. Epicurus and pleasure. 

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:03 pm

Stomach cover?  I had my Ostomy last Nov. I to, wondered about intimacy. I'm not in a relationship at the moment. I do know from Blogs that they mention cutting back on eating that day. My Stoma ( Stella) Is always active...Not sure how we get around it. A lovng understanding Partner I guess. Smile

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:13 pm
no matter what people try and tell you....it will always work!!! and at the wrong moments....it will gurgle ...fart ...stink....all the things you dont want it to do it will look wrong ..it will look gross.....if your with the wrong person and they dont understand or dont like it............dump em because they arent worth a second of your life trying to please them..........find someone else!!!!.....do i sound cold....i,ve had mine for over 20 years
Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:19 pm

Never had a problem with sex.  Empty pouch before sex..  Four years after my husband  died, I remarried, he had no problem with my ostomy & pouch.

Have to admit, pouch popped open once.  Now have a continent ileostomy.

 

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:35 pm

Hello, when I know I’m going to have sex , it is usually planned. Am widowed and have been intimate several times with different ladies! Most don’t even know about the bag. The serious ones do and accept it!  I do not eat very much the day of and certainly not gassy foods! Sometimes have to stop and burp. Of course, in the morning is best time to be intimate. No movement! Good luck! Works for me!

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:36 pm

Man...You have the right head on your shoulders. I love your statement, "Become a food scientist of your own crap." That is so true. The brief fasting method works for me too. I try to keep my appointments for the morning and fast prior to them. Usually I can go to about 1pm comfortably fasting. When I get home I eat. The tough one is going out in the evening. What I do is to eat a very light breakfast and then stop eating until I get home later that night. This is not so easy but there's no way I want to be running to the public restroom in the middle of a movie or show, etc. Fasting gives me control and as long as I drink water all day I'm fine. I love that control the fasting gives me. Just drink!

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:39 pm

Exactly what I do and it works! Permanent colostomy!

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 3:06 pm

Go with the flow! Sometimes you can plan your sexual encounters, and fast or plan accordingly, and all is good. But sometimes, spontaneous sex can be the best sex! In which case, excuse yourself to "freshen up" in the nearest restroom and change or empty your pouch - and then don't think about it, just enjoy! Self-confidence masters strange noises; and if you've never had any strange noises (non-stoma-related) during sex - ya ain't doin' it right!

If you would still prefer to "cover up", think outside the box. Try approaching the bed wearing nothing but a sexy sash or large scarf across your middle (incidentally covering up your appliance). Instead of looking like you're hiding something, it looks like you're trying to be seductive.

Remember, always THINK sexy, and you'll always BE sexy. The rest just doesn't matter. (And if it does matter to your partner, seriously consider another partner. Life is too short to be with someone who thinks you are less than you are.)

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:00 pm
tommy 6644 wrote:
no matter what people try and tell you....it will always work!!! and at the wrong moments....it will gurgle ...fart ...stink....all the things you dont want it to do it will look wrong ..it will look gross.....if your with the wrong person and they dont understand or dont like it............dump em because they arent worth a second of your life trying to please them..........find someone else!!!!.....do i sound cold....i,ve had mine for over 20 years


sorry to rattle cages but this is my reply...............i,m a lustful man..........i love to experiment...to please the lady i,m with......i,m very much  a from here to eternity type of love maker.......rolling around in the surf...ripping each others clothes of in the sea.....................hard to plan that.....in fact i find that sad.....plan what to eat..or drink....what hour your going to do that ...musnt eat the fish in case it smells.......or the curry.....or chillis in case it blows the pouch of............i had a relationship with a lady who had an illeostomy....she would hide it ...conceal it almost secrete..........it not eat for a couple of days..........i changed all that ...we had sumtuouse meals and wine......we made free uncumbered love.....culminating in bathing together.....and washing each others stomas............her life was opened up and she never looked back

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:47 pm
tommy 6644 wrote:


sorry to rattle cages but this is my reply...............i,m a lustful man..........i love to experiment...to please the lady i,m with......i,m very much  a from here to eternity type of love maker.......rolling around in the surf...ripping each others clothes of in the sea.....................hard to plan that.....in fact i find that sad.....plan what to eat..or drink....what hour your going to do that ...musnt eat the fish in case it smells.......or the curry.....or chillis in case it blows the pouch of............i had a relationship with a lady who had an illeostomy....she would hide it ...conceal it almost secrete..........it not eat for a couple of days..........i changed all that ...we had sumtuouse meals and wine......we made free uncumbered love.....culminating in bathing together.....and washing each others stomas............her life was opened up and she never looked back

This is one of the best entries of all times. Love the honesty of it, the humanity of it, the reality of it. I love lust, and romance, feeling intensely the moment and making it last, exploding together, moaning till the sun explodes. Stomas are like NYC, a state of mind. If you give up on passion, it's game over. There are as many ways to experience it as you are willing to explore. 

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