Need Motivation for Final Chemo Sessions

After 17 months of surgeries, radio/chemo, and my new stoma, I'm coming up to my second-to-last session. I've been largely positive and combative (I'll fight this), but now I've lost steam and am struggling to even go into the hospital for treatment.

I have a holiday planned. I should be thrilled, but I'm more down now than I ever was. Anyone else been through something similar? Totally fed up - can't fathom it really as rectal wound and stoma are fine.

Soc40

Dear Soc40,

I went through the exact same thing you're going through...and I felt the same way toward the end of the chemo. I think your feelings are normal. Think about everything you've gone through...all those months of radiation, chemo, surgery, and then chemo again. Let's face it...going through all that stuff, no matter how much of a fighter you are, just takes it out of you. It takes all your strength just to keep going. Just think that in a short time, it will all be over! Then you can begin your real recovery. You'll get your energy back, and life will settle into something approaching normal. Those feelings will pass! Just hang in there for a little longer. You WILL be okay!

Hello. I am on my last round of chemo. I start radiation afterwards, and the take down surgery will be planned afterwards. I may have only had my stoma (Jake) for 4 months, but I stay positive, UNTIL I have to go to the same clinic where my previous doctor mentioned my symptoms (3B Rectal cancer) were in my head. Anyways, you have to stay positive, no matter what. I admit, I do have my moments, but they will pass. My way of handling this is by not allowing myself to be bummed. Cancer likes folks that give up. I don't like cancer. I am a non-violent person, but this bull I grabbed by the horns, and his oysters. This is one fight I am going to win. I rather go through chemo, over looking at tree roots, and having the worms eat away at me. Hang in there, you got this!!!

Andy

Hello to you....How are you doing today?

Hi Andy, doing okay. Hope you are too!

Thanks!! I will keep on plugging away -

I have my final 48-hour chemo treatment.............I get to part ways with this toxic bag at noon, tomorrow!!

Yay! Congratulations!!! You're gonna feel so good to walk out of that place for the last time. I know I did. Celebrate! Linda

That's brilliant! I have two to go! 17 months later, can't believe I might be finished! Fingers crossed.

Good luck! Enjoy the newfound non-medical freedom.

Hi Soc40,

Only two more left. That's great. The light at the end of the tunnel is there. Just keep your eyes on it and yours will be over too before you know it. Congrats. You'll make it!

Hi Soc40.... My name is Marsha, and I've had my ileostomy for over 50+ years (for ulcerative colitis) since I was a teen of 15. I accepted my surgery readily, as it allowed me to go back to school again (after being on home instruction for 4 years). It was a challenge to get back in step with other teens...since my life had been so different. But I managed to graduate high school, and was much too young when I dropped out of college to get married (to a man who also had an ileostomy). More about that another time.

From a lifetime of experience (with a sick husband and 2 sick children)...as well as my own medical roller coaster of a history....it's sometimes more difficult to face life after the crisis is over....rather than during. During treatment, you know what to expect (not feeling well) and it's a challenge to just get over each hurdle. But you do it. When it's "over"....so is the challenge, and then it falls to you to restart a new and healthy life. That can be overwhelming, and you're back to the unknown. Although I didn't have cancer, I've been on chemo for other conditions (2x) and both times (first 1 year, and then years later 3 months) I felt lost, helpless, depressed..... not knowing how to pick up the threads of my life. Take your time....and go slowly. You may find that the same things that pleased you before don't do the same thing for you. I've shared with Linda (weirdnewlife), that I'm in search of "Fun" these days. Things that used to make me smile....no longer work. It's a challenge, but I've decided it's a good one... By the way...I'm "smitten" with things Ireland. I've traveled through Europe, the US, and other exotic places...but haven't made it to Ireland. We once stopped at the airport, en route to someplace else, and I bought a cute little red-haired doll (I have a small collection) to remind me of where I want to go next. My last big trip was to South Africa, but after that I had some medical issues with my legs (and walking) as well as financial issues since I lost my job. So except for visiting my younger son in Australia, 4 years ago (7x total) my "wings" are cut for the time being. I'm trying to rehab myself, and fit in some kind of travel that I could still enjoy....and afford. A friend of mine (also on this site) lives in England and visits Ireland every year. I'm so "jealous". I don't think I will ever be able to manage the on the bus, off the bus, routine of regular tours, and since I don't drive on your side of the road, not sure how I'd manage it. I thought I might do what my friend does....rent an apartment in a specific area for a time, and then do day trips. Not ideal.. Something to think about for the future. In the meantime, be kind and understanding with yourself....and plan for things you'd like to do when you're ready for them... No rush... Best wishes.. Marsha

Soc says this every damn day...