Hey all, long time no see... Just been out of it for a long time after my last surgery but here I am and doing better. Well here goes... I don't know how to cope how my body looks and how I feel about myself anymore. I look at myself in the mirror and I cry from all the scars I have and feel as if no one will love me since society now a days wants a picture perfect woman which I know doesn't exist. But I've always been pretty confident about myself until lately. I don't know who to go to or where... I've had a lot of positive vibes off this site and when one post here everyone helps as much as they can which to me I appreciate a lot. Well as for me yes I had my first surgery done in my home town for a removal of a cisc behind my ovary... But my smart ass Dr didn't remove it and left it in there while he did a number on me. Yeah one more scar added there...besides all the poking and test I went through... So we found out through a nurse the Dr left it inside of me and I had to be sent to another hospital out of town as a emergency, Yh horrible ambulatory drive all the way there. As like any other hospital u have to go through the whole process and I waited for so long for my pain med which I cried my heart out all night since they didn't have the Dr prescribe it yet of course it was night time already... So Yh now more test more poking more of everything and waiting for a Dr to take me to get surgery done... One brave Dr did... I had my first surgery done but since the home town Dr did a mess I lost my ability to have children ever again... '... So then I had a colostomy for 1 yr and then had a reversal... Didn't go well during surgery so I needed the illeostomy which didn't go well with that either... But at least I got it removed after a month... It was a battle for me since each surgery. It was very hard on my family myself and the Dr... I am blessed to be here since I wasn't suppose to make it. But after all this now I feel useless and still sick after all this... I have a hard time walking and my back kills me... I can't get any type of medical service atm since I'm not working but I can't pay for one since again I have no money yet. I don't know what to do. I do want to work again but I get so tired very quick. I just feel lost and depressed all the time.
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