Accepting and Embracing Life with an Ostomy

Ostomates, as I read the posts, it's "oh" so familiar. Though I didn't have cancer, many did. There is no certain age group that has an ileostomy or colostomy. The glue that binds ostomates is the surgery that changes them.

I believe after the surgery, it affects one physically and mentally. Each of us has our own way to accept the change, though some never do. I struggled for two years mentally. In collections, I read about some of the brave men and women who shared their journey. Some are gone and others are still here. Through my struggles, I longed for a women's point of view in dealing with my physical change. Did it help? Why yes, of course, it did.

Speaking briefly on irrigation, this is a luxury because some cannot. There are those that can and never achieve the 24 hours of relief. I myself have yet to achieve such a break in time. Yes, it is rough at times and most of us persevere.

As far as dating/marriage intimacy, that's quite different for all. Some have no issues and they continue as if nothing happened. Then, of course, there are those, both men and women, who leave their mates because they can't handle the physical change.

For two and a half years, I wouldn't venture out because I thought I would have an accident. Of course, I would go if and when I had an appointment. One day, I thought, "Ok, it's time. Just pack your necessary supplies and get out of the house." Life was passing me by. That's not why I had the surgery, to just give up.

Is life perfect? Heck no, but I'm here. These are the cards that were dealt for me. Life is so short. In spite of my ostomy, I'm dealing with it!

Sincerely,

Angelicamarie

Great attitude!

Thanks mmsh... Angel

You're so right. None of us has any choice but to play the cards we were dealt. It's how you play them that counts! ;(I'm slowly getting better at it....I think.)

Weirdnewlife... Thanks for your comments. Be safe! ;Angel

Everything is in the attitude! I went through a period that I was angry, but it was because the products the hospital recommended were not working for me. I was always having leaks, so I was scared to go anywhere. And until I found what worked for me, my attitude was bad. This is coming from the most positive thinking person you will ever know! Lol thank God it was short-lived! Hopefully, I can help others find what works for them to help their anxiety and attitude! Lots of help came from this site with suggestions. Thanks!

Puppyluv

Hi all, when I had my first surgery for an ileo, my surgeon was short and to the point. He said I would have more problems thinking about the surgery, and he said I would have to accept it and take control as it's my body and not rely on anyone. But my wife stood by me. I went through all the stages of "why me" and being mad at the world, depression, but I realized it was done and accepted it. That first surgery was 33 years ago.

In the beginning, I planned just one thing a day. If I managed more, that was a bonus. If it was just getting groceries or some yard work, it was an accomplishment. Now, things are more automatic and I do not let my ostomy hold me back.

Puppyluv... I agree, it can be frightening at times. Accidents are no fun. Even the most positive people have no control over the intestines. At least your thinking has changed. Thanks so much for your comments!!

Angelicamarie

Ron in Mich... Yes, we do go through mental issues. Some of us received the stoma because of mistakes made by the medical professionals. At least you have support from your wife and daughter. My friend, 33 years is a long time. Good for you!! Thanks for your comments.

Angelicamarie

Xnine.. At least you were positive. As time goes on, we do get better at managing. Heck, X, you do rather well; you travel all the time. Which was something I was scared to do until last year. It has to start somewhere, right? Thanks for commenting.

Angel

Hello Angelicamarie. Thanks for another interesting post and I have been so impressed with your replies.  It is good to present this sort of perspective to new ostomates so that they can appreciate that they are not alone in the way they feeland it points the way to a more positive future.

Best wishes

Bill

Bill... Your comments are much appreciated. Thanks again for your support!

Angelicamarie