Thank you once again for a very poignant post. This time it resurrected feelings which I felt I had well under control for many years. However, whilst we may control many of the outward symptoms, it is much more difficult to contain that which is still active and alive under the surface, remaining oh so ready to jump out at us with any chink of that emotional door opening.
I have written a number of verses in my efforts to document and make sense of personal loss but there is still much to express in this regard, except that the revisiting and the nostalgia seems just as raw and painful as when it first happened. I'll share just one of poems I wrote in 2012 trying to get my head around this subject, although the painful event was way back in the 1960's it took me that long to feel I had the strength to face the issue in rhyming form.
There is no other loss I knew.
Can compare with the loss of you.
Your loss was way beyond belief.
And nothing could displace my grief.
‘Twas because you meant to me.
Everything that could ever be.
When you were there things were just right.
You were my sunshine’s ray of light.
I knew right from the very start.
You’d found a place within my heart.
Although I did not let you know.
I did not want to let you go.
And your great personality.
All those things you did and said.
Feel lost forever now you’re dead.
One thing I miss as I recall.
Is the way you could enthral.
I miss having you close by.
I miss the twinkle in your eye.
I do not think that it was wrong.
That when you went I cried so long.
I felt I was no longer whole.
And nothing would my heart console.
It was an unexpected shock.
And certainly my greatest knock.
A personal catastrophe.
Now part of my biography.
There’s bound to be a personal cost.
When someone close to you is lost.
It’s hard to tell what that will be.
Until they’re gone and then you’ll see.
B. Withers 2012