Victoria and Cheekmonkey, Really? Your've lost friends due to your little stoma? WHY? For my part I don't lose friends because I don't tell anyone. What's in my pants has never been a big topic for discussion. My best friend, who I've know for over 40 years knows, and it makes no difference. Wy would it. As I had a colostomy due to cancer, when people ask about it, I tell them "I had one big mass in my ass" and don't elaborate. Only one person ever asked me if I had 'the bag thing'. I said yes and it has made no difference.
I've heared stories like this before. Why do your friends care about your new body hygiene? It makes no sense. As I never tell anyone, I can assure you no one knows unless I tell them, and I see no reason to do that. I have little family left, but my sister and brother in law were happy when I 'got away'with just an ostomy and not die of cancer. On my surgery day, my daugter and a few friends were right there when I came out of surgery--I was a lump in a great deal of pain. They helped me open my Mac and, well there were about 40 email messages wishing me well , all asking for contact when I felt better. I had prayers and gifts and to this day, not one person as left my life due to my stoma...ridiculous. Again WHY? Please enlighten me I am truly interested as I red about this more than I'd like, as well as partners and even marriages breaking up. I have a male friend who I meet shortly after I completed my last round of Chemo. He knows I had surgery 'down there'. Gave him the 'mass in the ass' bit. It will a year we've known each other this April. He doesn't know, nor does he need to, and as he has his own medcal problems, he wouldn't run away if, for some reason I had to tell him. Knowing him, he wouldn't care. Elighten me.