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Soul Mate

 
Posted by Angelicamarie, on Tue May 14, 2019 7:03 am

Are you with your soul mate?

Defintion:"A soulmate is someone that just gets you. It's a connection of minds, a mutual respect, an unconditional love and understanding.

Many of us marry early-at least I did ,one would assume that's your soul mate. Is it?

Then their are others whose significant others physically died. On that note, I know people who never dated after that. Then there was others who married again, and again. Which one was your soul mate?

I've been married 35 years and out of this union had 2 children. Do some of us stay married for the sake of being comfortable? I think so! 

This is for everyone? married, single, young and old.

Could we have possibly looked over our soul mate because of what society says. Are you with your soul mate?  ARE YOU?

 

Best Wishes

Angelicamarie

 

 



Last edited by Angelicamarie on Tue May 14, 2019 12:23 pm; edited 4 times in total
 
Reply by ron in mich, on Tue May 14, 2019 8:54 am
Hi Angelica I,ve been married 44yrs. and it seems our marriage gets more distant as the years go by, I,m retired but my wife is still working and I think she resents that I don't have to go to work, but she could retire as she is 63 but doesn't want to talk about it. I used to think we would last forever but now I,m not so sure.
 
Reply by scorsby, on Tue May 14, 2019 11:07 am

Angel.

Very perceptive and accurate in what you write.

Soul mates don't always last for life, but staying in the same relationship often does.

Living with an ex soul mate is very challenging.

John

 
Reply by Bill, on Wed May 15, 2019 3:41 am

Hello Angelicamarie. Thank you for another thought-provoking post, which I cannot pretend is an easy one to respond to. 

I have been married for more than 50 years but by your definition(s) of a 'soul-mate', I can safely say that my wife and I fluctuate between the four elements you mention. 

1) A connection of minds;   - We are both very independent people and think differently about some subjects and are in accord about others.  For years we hardly agreed about anything. I felt that this was a very healthy relationship whereby two people could live and work together without necessarily agreeing on everything. It teaches us to respect the fact that other people may have different perspectives to our own. More recently, with the chaotic political fiasco here in Britain, we have come to agree on that topic much more so than in previous years.  (who says that politics doesn't work?)

2) A mutual respect; This is a facet which also fluctuates depending on what it is under discussion or what is going on. What I can say, is that we usually have respect for our differences, which enables us to live amicably with each other, despite have different viewpoints.

3) An unconditional love; This depends on how one would define ' LOVE'. I have written several verses on the subject to try to clarify such a ponderous question and I have determined that my own concept of 'love', is not necessarily the same as that percieved by others. It can be summed up in my list of 'AIMS FOR TODAY'. For many personal and social reasons, I have come to the conclusion that emotional 'love' is something that cannot be relied upon in the long-term, so having a practical guide to how one should build a practical, positive and permanent relationship seems to be a much better option. 

4) An unconditional understanding: This aspect is linked with my previous comments in that one can have an 'understanding' without necessarily agreeing with the subject matter.  There are always conditions placed on the ability and capacity of  human understanding in that some are better at it than others. Sometimes it is conditional on the complexity of the subject matter and other times it is conditional on the amount of emotional and social investment we have in whatever is under scrutiny. From a personal relationship perspective, my wife and I may often disagree on subjects but that in no way reflects a lack of 'understanding'. What it does indicate is an unconditional acceptace of people's right to hold a different perspective.  

 During my life I have met several people (men, women and animals) whom I might loosly describe as 'soul-mates' because we seem to be on the same wavelength in terms of perspectives on life. However, there is no way that I would want to live with these people on a permanent basis as I feel that it could become stifling to my independence to have someone close by all the time who thought along the same lines as I did.  The challenges which arise when living with a critic creates the dynamic atmosphere, whereby we are obliged to question and clarify our thinking on many matters which we might otherwise take for granted and assume that we are 'right'. Having someone nearby who can openly and honestly question everything, enables us to be much less complacent that our perspectives are the right or the only ones which are worthwhile. 

 

Sorry to be so long-winded in my reply, but it seems to be a much more complex subject that might at first appear.

Best wishes

Bill   

  

 
Reply by Sjb, on Thu May 16, 2019 11:07 pm

I feel so fortunate I feel I'm married to my soul mate! I ended up with iliostomy as complication from mistake in prior surgery. I don't think I would have survived the past 15 months without my hubby! We've been married 34 years on June 1! I look forward to many more!! 

 
Reply by Angelicamarie, on Fri May 17, 2019 12:49 am

ron in mich, scorsby and Bill... Hi, In an open forum such as this I knew there would be different opinions. based on the definition I'm definetely not with my soulmate. but it seems like you all are and continue to make it work. Truly Its enlightning to hear each one of your comments... Thanks for sharing and breaking it down...

Take Care,

Angelicamrie

 



Last edited by Angelicamarie on Fri May 17, 2019 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
 
Reply by Angelicamarie, on Fri May 17, 2019 12:52 am

Sjb...Glad to hear, wishing you continued happiness... Thanks for sharing!

 

Take Care,

Angelicamarie

 
Reply by csteven, on Fri May 17, 2019 6:07 am

I'm with my soulmate although sometimes I feel - and I'm sure she feels- we're not always soulmates. People don't get along all the time, but I can't complain. For me I was just lucky. You don't really know a person when you marry, but time will tell. Time has shown me that I'm married to a perfect woman. We share the same values regarding raising kids, education, money, God, treatment to others, and living an ethical life. I think that's what keeps us together. Plus, we laugh a lot. 

I've found that if you can love your spouse's imperfections, and we all have them, then it's possible to make your spouse 'perfect'. So, to me, my wife is perfect. I wouldn't change a thing as I have grown to love her imperfections. I don't believe marriage is about changing people. Married life is like an airplane; people come aboard with baggage and you got to suck it up and carry it and smile while they pass you their bags.

 
Reply by Angelicamarie, on Fri May 17, 2019 7:48 am

Hi csteven.... Hey thanks for sharing. I liked your Analogy about the airplane.  Good luck.....

Take Care,

Angelicamarie

 

 
Reply by macsac1, on Fri May 17, 2019 2:35 pm

I'd like to be your sole mate! Been married for 31 years to someone I seem to have less and less in common with. Gets lonely sometimes.

 

 
Reply by Angelicamarie, on Fri May 17, 2019 3:32 pm

Hi macsac1... how are you? Well my friend I’m not available. I’m married friend but I do wish you luck !!! Thanks for sharing!

Take Care,

Angelicamarie



Last edited by Angelicamarie on Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
 
Reply by dls, on Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:19 pm

I found my soulmate, but he died after nine years, My parents were soulmates but my Father died after 19 years.  The good news: my maternal grandparents were soul mates in a time when marriage had more utility than romance.  They were married for 66 years before my grandfather died (my senior year of college).  They used to hold hands at Mass.  My Mother told me they used to hold hands when they walked together to pay their morgage in the 1920's.  Some of us get lucky, but it takes a hell of a lot of hard work.  

 
Reply by iMacG5, on Sun Jun 02, 2019 2:53 pm

Hey Angel, thank you for another great post. I’m assuming the definition you provided is your own. I don’t disagree at all but as I age I tend to get microscopic with definitions. Something like what Bill offers in his reply which, to me, is another masterpiece. My wife and I weren’t old enough to drink legally when we married almost 58 years ago. We were “in love” by any definition of the term. We were definitely “Body Mates” but all we knew about souls was they got stained when we sinned. Catholic education had a real hold on us.
This post has become a learning experience.
Sincerely,
Mike

 
Reply by iMacG5, on Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:18 pm

Hi Csteven. Congratulations! Don ’t know if many can claim to have the perfect spouse. However, the definition might help understand. It’s like beauty being in the eyes of the beholder. It could be evaluating one’s behavior as “intolerable” compared to “no big deal”. We’re all different and our expectations probably differ. Most things change with time. As we age we mature, hopefully, and become wiser. Our needs and desires change and at no particular paces. I think what we needed from each other fifty-some years ago is way different today. Our tolerance and appreciation of each other might get us to a better place.
You’re a lucky guy. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully,
Mike



Last edited by iMacG5 on Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
 
Reply by Angelicamarie, on Sun Jun 02, 2019 4:25 pm

Hi dls, wow every one you mentioned found there soulmate. Lady you had great examples. Thanks for sharing!

Best Wishes,

Angelicamarie

 



Last edited by Angelicamarie on Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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