MissJane, you certainly need professional help, all of these sugestions are fantatastic, but we're not there and can't see what you're suffering. Irish Health Care isn't that bad and should be able to see someone without too much of a wait. In the meantime, try everything, if nothing 'osomy' works, I really like the Desitin Ointment idea--it may be called something else in Ireland. You find it in baby care areas of store. The base is Zinc Oxide and Cod Liver Oil. Desitin has been used for skin problems a long time. As it used for baby's bottoms, wet and 'dirty' if you get my meaning, it's perfect for problems like ours. Please keep us informed, many would love how you solved this problem. All the best.
TAPE BORDERS. I don't like them either, although I use them as I have them. They are good for extended wear time, but I'm not interested in that, I change my bag every other day, unless I get lazy, then I'll go a third or even fourth day. I try everything, but my current go-to pouch is Hollister 88400. This a an opaque filtered bag with a a simple cut-to-fit adhesive wafer. Simple and easy. Depending on the size of your stoma, the actual adhesion area isn't all that big. I've never had a leak, or fall off (!).
Some adhesion tips i've discovered over the last 1.5 years: 1. You must keep the skin completely dry, this includes that one area we all have where our stoma is constantly leaking. This is normal, of course as it keeps our stomas moist and healthy. Mine is just to the right at the bottom of my stome. It this area is not complete dry, it won't stick.
HEAT SEALING. I've done this since day one, and I swear but it. After cleaning and towel drying, I use a thick (hotel quality) white washcloth -DRY-you must keep it dry. I hold it in front of the whole peristomal area and run a hairdryer on HIGH. Yes, the wash cloth will be nice and warm, don't use hot, blowing air near your stoma, but heavy washclothes then become the 'hot towels from the warmer' we've all enjoyed in the hospital.
INSERT: use a piece of gauze or a small bit of paper towel on your stoma near your 'contantly wet area'. It won't blow off, as you are applying the heat to the covering cloth, not your skin. When skin is dry, I pull off the covering and use the hot hair dryer on the pouich adheive, just about 5 seconds. Before I apply if, I use the hot washcloth to be sure everything is dry-the hot washcloth will stay warm. Then I apply the warmed wafer. There isn't much good about out ostomies, but applying a warmed adhesive wafer to your clean skin is wonderful.
As I really like excellent adhesion, I then take my trusty, dry heavy washcoth and hold it in front of the pouch, then blast it with hot air for about 30 seconds. Off goes the dryer, and I hold the still warm cloth against my pouch until the heat starts to dissipate.
All should be secure, if not, you were either too wet or you have something on your skin that interferes with adhesion. Or you have an off-spec appliance.
If that's not enough, I started this after watching a vidio of an experienced ostomate. I leave my bathroom, head to my bedroom and turn on an electric hot pad. Sometimes I lay down and listen to some classical music or a book on CD, or the radio. About 5-15 minutes is usually enough. After the heat dssipates on my skin I'm good to go anywhere and nothing moves. Remember, no tape borders needed. The woman who uploaded the video used something I can't find anywhere: a ricepaper strip with plastic rings on either end. This appliance goes in the microwave for a 10 seconds then you lay it over your applied appliance. Her testimony was since she started using it she never had a leak. My make shift system works just as well.