She's back once again, our stoma trendsetter...Dear Flabby.
Dearest Flabby,
I'm hoping you can help. I have such a dilemma. My stoma refuses to go to sleep unless I sing it a lullaby. Kumquat, my stoma, said if I don't do it.... she will "kick out the juice" all night long. Well, in order to get some shut-eye, I gaily sang "rock-a-bye baby." When I finished, Kumquat sputtered "not good enough." I replied "listen here little lady, I'm in charge here." Then she said "get ready for the kickin'" and began gurgling.. I hastily said WAIT! I then sang her "old man river." But Flabby, she still was unsatisfied. I need some sleep. Oh Flabby, whatever shall I do?
Winette Nuttal
Dear Wingnut,
Tell your little prissy one to hush up. Momma's gonna sing you a new tune, like this one: Ya better watch out, ya better not cry, you better not spout, I'm telling you why: Mr. Urologist is coming to town. You're gonna get a colonoscopy, a tube right down your kisser, then you'll pout and think twice, before you're naughty and not nice.
Fixing bad stomas, one reader at a time. Always chic, never shabby... I'm your Flabby