My sister-in-law died very suddenly, my wife started to find our bedroom activities repulsive and I started to get very low. Well to cut a very long story short, I eventually went for the CT scan and got my results from my doctor. All that worrying had not changed the result one little bit, so the result would have been the same if I was worried or not, I need to see a oncologist to follow up on the growth they found to see what treatment options are available and to work out a plan of how to proceed from here.
Well at least I now have something concrete to worry about not just "WHAT IF", because it is IF". Don't get me wrong, I find ranting and raving here makes me feel a lot better to just let it out. I know that there are many here that have been through much worse and still are, it is that it is me now that is going through it now and I know me, I never knew the others that are suffering.
All in all, it is just a new passage in my life and while the lights are not turned on at this time, it could very well be the best time of my life down this passage, I have no option but to start this journey and at this time I have no idea what lies ahead. Many people have come out the other side as "survives" and some even as "winners' while a few have not made it through, I just need to start moving along the passage, discovering all there is to find and doing the best I can do to get to the other side.
Feel free to just ignore my rant, as I feel better just saying it here, as I can not speak like this away from here. Here we can say what we like about situations like this and many will understand. Thank you for lending me your ears [that should really be your eyes] and allowing me to get this off my chest.
I will write again later as I start to find out what lies ahead.