Guys, you can chime in here too........but I really want to get the women's perspective on this one. Here's my question ladies..........what's the best way to tell a gal you're just not interested in her after she contacts you on a dating site?I absolutely HATE having to tell someone who put herself out there and contacted me that I'm just not interested. I mean I dread it. There's no way I'm going to just not reply..........I was raised better than that, and I just consider it rude.
I recently got smacked upside my head by a gal who sent me a very long first message on Match.com. She obviously put some serious time into it, as she went thru my profile and commented on just about everything in it. I mean it was a LONG message. So I felt obliged to reply in kind.....and sent her back an equally long reply, covering everything she covered and then a few things from her profile. But at the end of my message I mentioned that although we seemed to have identical personalities (a good thing), she just didn't make my heart go pitter-patter. And I didn't want to waste her time by not being honest with her. Well.......she went ballistic. Basically saying if I wasn't interested I should have just said so and not sent such a thoughtful reply. Like I was leading her on. I understand where she's coming from, but after seeing the time and effort she put into the message she sent me..........I didn't think a "thanks but no thanks" was the correct response. But I'm guessing she did.
So I'd like you gals to tell me what you think the best way for a guy to say "thanks but no thanks" actually is. I won't lie, so that's not an option. What I normally do is find something in her profile that I either don't agree with or think would cause us some problems long term.....and use that as an excuse for us not to give it a go. I even feel bad about doing that sometimes. So I'd like to hear what women consider the best way to do this. Help a guy out here ladies......I'll send the gal with the best answer a free kitten.....or three. Much thanks in advance.
PSInteresting aside.......about a week after I got scolded above I got a message from someone else on Match saying she just saw me in the local supermarket,recognized me from the site.....and thought I was approachable (whatever that means). So we started emailing and it turned out the gal above was a good friend of hers. After she told her friend she was talking to a guy on Match named Bob her friend told her to make sure it wasn't me (which it was). I explained what happened to girl #2, but that I could only tell her my side of the story and that she should talk to her friend to get her side as well. She then told me her friend was bit of a control freak. Go figure.