It’s finally October, my birth month, and the beginning of a three-month long celebratory period of over-drinking, over-eating, and over-spending. Why is the tenth month of the year named from the Latin prefix for eight (octo-)? Ans: because, under the original Roman calendar, it was the eighth month in a ten-month cycle. When they converted to twelve months in 713 BC, the name stuck, even though it then became the tenth month. There are plenty of special times that are coming up (can you say PUMPKIN, TURKEY, CREDIT CARD OVERUSE?), b...

Just got a call from a telemarketer! Me: Hello, this is Leon! Telemarketer: Hello, I am looking for Sheila! Me: Have your looked in the next office? Telemarketer: Sir, I am looking for Sheila! Me: Check the hallway, maybe she stepped out! Me: Or maybe she went to the restroom! Telemarketer: Can I speak to Sheila? Me: Sure, if you ever find her! Me: Do you want me to fly down to the Philippines and help you find her? Telemarketer: CLICK!

Yo Yo Ostomates...........did you miss me?  Sorry for not giving advanced notice, but I had to take an unplanned abscence, so what did I miss?  My Mom had a really tough time with her cancer treatments, as I think she thought those wouldn't be such big deals, but it's definitely put her back on her heals, so to speak.  So I loaded up the pooch and a couple shirts and some underwear and trucked on up to the wonderful state of NJ to spend some time with her and my family.  And upon my arrival I found out she had her ...

  Frida Kahlo told her husband, "I'm not asking you to kiss me, nor apologize to me when I think you're wrong. I won't even ask you to hug me when I need it most. I don't ask you to tell me how beautiful I am, even if it's a lie, nor write me anything beautiful. I won't even ask you to call me to tell me how your day went, nor tell me you miss me. I won't ask you to thank me for everything I do for you, nor to care about me when my soul is down, and of course, I won't ask you to support me in my decisions. I won't even ask you to l...

On a shelf just above my head sits a brand-new copy of THE INTERPRETATION OF DREAMS by Sigmund Freud. It has rested there for months and I’ve yet to muster the courage necessary to pull it down and start to read it. Of course, some night dreams are fairly obvious. If you’re having dreams of committing acts of deviate sex, or violence against others, then I highly recommend that you see a mental health professional as soon as possible. My dreams are too mundane to warrant any kind of expert analysis. I’m wandering around a...

There is a sense of late that something devious and anticipatory is occurring underground in the world. Life there is stirring among the family Formicidae, order Hymenoptera. Ants are preparing to rise to daylight to receive their due. I have done my part over the years to exterminate the little bastards, all for naught. The store-bought poisons have made more of a dent in my wallet than upon my prey. The DIY remedies have been high in frustration and low in results. It must be true that ants will survive Armageddon and take over what&rsqu...

     I have always been a big introvert and I never made friends easily . I sometimes must have appeared a little "creepy" in that I would show that I was interested but rarely  followed through to start a conversation , wit...

I was at my dentist today getting a new crown. As he was injecting me with the anesthetic, I started to feel something warm on my side. My first thought was that the assistant had spilled some water on me but very quickly realized my bag was lea...

From the fourth grade on, I worked. Job upon job, plus school which, as we know, if done right, is work too. I didn’t stop until I was seventy-five and, even then, it was with mixed emotions. Of course, as the great Lily Tomlin once said, the problem with the rat race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat. So I came to regard retirement as time to hang it up, box it up, and give it up: hang up my suits, box up the accoutrements of my trade (don’t ask), and give up trying to impress anybody with my hard-earned profe...

Henry’s post about Grandfathers had some wonderful messages. For those whose relationships with their parents might’ve been less than ideal there’s a song that tells the story of the regrets. Originally recorded by Mike and the Mechanics, “The Living Years” offers some advice for all who are willing to listen. It’s a beautiful melody but sad message. My favorite rendition is by the Glee Cast. It’s worth Googling.Mike

Here is a word from which I shrink like a frightened puppy: doppelgänger. It is a double of a living person, someone who looks just like someone else. The whole idea scares the hell out of me. Just imagine yourself, walking down the street, and you are suddenly confronted with a stranger who looks just like you! I would most certainly go schizo. As odd experiences go, that would be a ten on a one to ten scale. But why would I react so dramatically? Simply put: I don’t want there to be another me. We’re all individuals and ...

Good Morning, O'mates~ I was just looking back through all the Topics that have been posted since I joined this site; the first was dated 9/6/2020, so I joined a month ago! During this time, I have read so many interesting posts regarding not only ostomy-related topics or dating, but Life.  From thoughts about daily miracles, to observations on seemingly mundane subjects, to laughter-evoking reflections, each item and each response are jewels. A couple of weeks ago I was on the website when what got my sudden and undivided att...

I FEEL THERE ARE SOME GREAT ADDITIONAL ADVANTAGES TO CONTRIBUTING TO A SITE LIKE MAO, which may not be immediately apparent in the daily correspondence relating directly to stoma issues.  As a writer and a rhymist the good people on here h...

She was not an attractive person, my Aunt Gussie. Her face had the look of an old leather bag that had been left out in the weather too many times, a strange brown from too many hours in the sun, with rifts and crevices that would challenge even the most expensive facial cream. My sister always said that Aunt Gussie smelled like beef stew, but she had a better olfactory nerve than me, and I always tried to hide in my bedroom when the old lady visited. But then my mother would call out, “Henry, come say hello to your Aunt Gussie,&rdqu...

It may be ignorantly un-Southern of me to say this, but I dislike magnolia trees. As a tree lover generally, it pains me to admit this awful prejudice, but I have come to it honestly, that is to say, after having experienced a number of magnolia trees on my very own property. The trees produce magnificent blossoms, huge fragrant things that we used to pick and float in bowls of water on the dining room table. They emit a wonderfully sweet scent, redolent of Tennessee Williams and reminiscent of women who say Yes in three syllables. But the...

The only time in my life that I’d been on a subway had been in 2003 in Moscow, Russia. But when my eldest daughter lived in Brooklyn and I visited her, my desire to explore necessitated us taking the NYC subway. Knowing her father, she gave me strict instructions on how to behave. “Don’t talk, don’t stare, keep your gaze down,” she ordered. In her mature adulthood, we had switched roles. Once on the subway, everything went okay until a girl boarded with purple hair and multiple facial piercings. She was, to me...

Things are opening up a bit but not enough yet. Looking at August or September to do something. Drive or fly? North, East or West, South I think the boarder will still be closed. All I want to do is get out of this place. Anyone else got an itch?

Ostomy people, as we are all painfully aware, must watch WHAT they eat, HOW they eat, HOW MUCH they eat, and WHEN they eat. Some foods may present digestive issues, others may produce the dreaded belly putters, while some induce what I discretely refer to as “the trots.” Importantly, I will rarely eat anything after dinner, and certainly not within an hour of bedtime. Yet, my own personal dilemma, I’m forced to admit, is that I have a terrible eating disorder. Normally, I would be reticent to openly discuss this malady, b...

 Just a brief note to our friends north of the USA.  Happy Canada Day !!!   I join in the celebration of your country and invite you to join with the USA in the celebration of our country this coming Juy 4.  Despite being a different kind of celebration considering the pandemic, considering excessive heat warnings and fire dangers, considering hometown fireworks bans and beach closures, and considering social distancing and face masks, we must remember to appreciate everything we DO have, and we will still celebrat...

      Hi there , my name is Eamon , born in The West of Ireland , transplanted to New York ( Bronx ) too many years ago to contemplate . I loved America as soon as I sat in the gigantic convertible on the way from the airport to ...

A native Floridian, I spent fourteen years in rural Utah because it is beautiful there. Our home was at one corner of the vast and desolate Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. One day we drove into the Monument and stopped to hike Lick Wash, which included a stunningly narrow slot canyon. A slot canyon is a rare formation, the result of the combined forces of wind and water on sandstone. A slender crevice sliced through a mesa by rushing water evolves from a hairline crack into a series of convoluted hollows, often hundreds of fee...