How to Annoy a Telemarketer


Just got a call from a telemarketer!

Me: Hello, this is Leon!

Telemarketer: Hello, I am looking for Sheila!

Me: Have you looked in the next office?

Telemarketer: Sir, I am looking for Sheila!

Me: Check the hallway, maybe she stepped out!

Me: Or maybe she went to the restroom!

Telemarketer: Can I speak to Sheila?

Me: Sure, if you ever find her!

Me: Do you want me to fly down to the Philippines and help you find her?

Telemarketer: CLICK!


Hi Lovely,

Yeah, I used to get really annoyed at telemarketers, but now I enjoy torturing them. I now see how long I can keep one tied up on my phone line, knowing if he's stuck dealing with me he can't be bothering more gullible folks. The longest I've been able to keep one of these knuckleheads on the line was a full 20 minutes!




I used to give it to my child who would talk to them for a while until they hung up on him.

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I used to ask them to hold on for a moment, then put the phone down next to the TV while it was on and leave it there.


Hi Axl,

Out of all these great ideas, I like this one the most. It's simple.   ..mountain.  

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I'm guessing everyone is noticing that robocalls are getting smarter. They now pre-program responses based on keywords that you might say. And they're getting pretty good at it. The best way I've found to figure out if it's a person on the other end or a robot is to ask it a question it's not expecting. What I do now is after the person says their name, I wait until they start their next sentence and say "What did you say your name was again?". The robot isn't expecting that and will say something stupid that tells you you're dealing with a robot. If he says "Oh, it's Jim," then you know you got a real telemarketer and the games can begin!

You'd think that with all the technology we have today, someone would have invented a device that could trace back the caller to their real IP address (since they all use VOIP) so we could then bug THEM whenever we want. But for some reason, I don't see such a product available for sale yet. I wonder why? Hmmmm.

Have a great Sunday!



Hi Bob, 
Very clever, your inventive genius always amazes me.  ..mountain. 


I used to try to call them back late at night and it says this is not a working number. I have seen on TV that they can just make up a number like they are calling from and not use a real number. They had slacked off for awhile but it has started back, sometimes several a day. I have called the no call line before. I guess I need to call it again. Bob, that is a long time to keep one on the line. Axl and xnine, I like your ideas too. Stay safe.


I like Axl's idea the best, too. Or you could ask the caller for a date and say, "Would you like to check out my shitbag?"


Hey, Lovely, I am so proud of you!  I'll remember your responses when Lisa calls me tomorrow from some credit card company.  We could be friends, I guess.  She calls about three times a week and she's very polite.  



These calls will use a cell number that is legit and robo call thousands of people. My husband's number was involved in one not too long ago. So when no message is left from the number they use, some people call it back later. My husband was getting 50 calls a day from people saying that he had called them. He would say, "No, I did not," and they said the call came from his number. No one will do anything about it and Verizon said to change your number. When you have had a number for 20+ years, that is not a solution. He did block all those people from calling him. It finally stopped when we downloaded an app that scanned spam calls and blocked calls. It helped to stop those calling back and getting robo calls. Weird how that worked!




What was that app you downloaded? I need that!




I tell them, I live in a nursing home and don't have any credit cards, LOL


I needed to read these tonight to laugh...



If they try to sell me something for my home, I tell them I live in a temper and they hang up.


Well..........I hate to lie, but my newest response is to say I lost my job due to the Corona Virus......then the line just goes silent and they hang up. I mean.....what can they say to that? All's fair in love and telemarketing!!




I have so many calls. A lot of extended warranty or insurance, so I tell them I don't have a car anymore and don't drive. And a whole lot of lies that keep my girlfriends laughing!
The next one that calls, we decided to start screaming and ask them to help us and whisper that we think he's dead.
Help us get rid of the body! They would probably take me off their call list then! Haha

I will let you know how that works out if I am not in jail for murder without a body as evidence. Guess we will find out if the call was really recorded for quality assurance! Lol



Here is what I do. I answer numbers I don't know with !!! Good Day Winnabago County Sheriffs Dept Fraud Division!!! They hang up.


My feeling is that I do not wish the fool to take any more of my time than possible.  I cut them off, say "get a real job," and hang up.


My dad kept a siding salesman on the phone for 30 minutes asking questions and acting interested before finally telling him his home was brick. Click



Little Red... that's priceless! I'm writing that one down!




Your welcome,   It works every time.


That's what I do. "Billings Police Department Fraud Department. How can I help?" *Click*   Except the time my boss called and I didn't recognize the number!   LOL!  


Sometimes I'll pretend to be interested in what they're selling, then say "Could you hold on a minute?," and put the phone down. Then come back every few minutes and say "Are you still there? Hold on!" and so on and so on...

If you want to get really nasty, you could pretend to be interested, but tell them you're on your work number and can't talk. Then ask them to call back on some bogus number.... at what would be 4am their time. Would they stay up all night on the prospect of a big sale? Who knows...

And of course if you suspect it's a total scam, repeat the above, but give them the FBI telemarketing fraud line. Imagine their shock as they're preparing to bamboozle some poor soul out of a small fortune and the FBI answers...

Posts:42 is great for cutting down on the number of cold calls. We've had it for about 5 years and love it. The phone rings once and then the call disappears. However, before the last election we did get a lot of political calls despite the NoMoRobo. Now when the phone rings and the number pops up on the TV screen, if we don't recognize it we don't answer.


Thanks, I will try this. I have been getting a lot lately.


I checked this out and they charge a fee. Here is a free link for the Do Not Call



It is free for anyone with a home phone. You are right that for a mobile phone it is $1.99 a month. I am an old gal who has a real hate for telephones so I've never wanted a mobile phone. If I have an emergency when in my car, I'll use OnStar. We were on before we got nomorobo and it wasn't nearly as efficient. I suppose there is no way to 100% capture all unwanted calls though. Just wish someone could get rid of all the political/pre-election calls that will be coming shortly. Don't want to hear from any of them, regardless of party they represent.


I see some great ideas here. Haha

I've been waiting for months and months for a telemarketer to call 'cause I love playing their game with them. It's so satisfying. I'm not mean or anything but I surely don't mind wasting their time. Maybe I'm on their no-call list.

Anyway, for all the lonely telemarketers out there, give me a call some time. Lol


Love these ideas! :)

I'm a professional receptionist (vs. unprofessional, of course - LOL) and I've answered telemarketing calls at home using my "pleasant business voice" with:

"Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, Grand Central Station. How may I direct your call?"

"Domino's Pizza. May I take your order?"

"Thank you for calling Guido's Mortuary. You kill 'em, we chill 'em. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. Some go to Heaven, some go to... Hellll-o!" (My fave! LOL)

And, if I'm feeling obnoxious, in a low voice, hand covering my mouth and the mouthpiece on the phone: "I've told you: NEVER call me here!!! The job is done, all right?!... and if we don't want the cops on us, we gotta lay low!" LOL

Either I get hang ups, or a sincere apology for their getting the wrong number!!! LOL

It's a shame telemarketers can't put all that time and energy into doing good in/for the world. How different everything would be...


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