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Ostomy Memories on the Phone

 
This is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding.

I put up a fight for a long time, years, in fact. I refused to get a cell phone, or portable phone, or personal devise, or whatever the hell you call those damned things. I never liked phones, anyway. When the landline rang, my wife had to answer it. If she wasn’t home, either I didn’t bother to get up or, if I did, I was invariably brusque (why is this not spelled b-r-u-s-k?). Half the time it was a telemarketer or some other noxious solicitor. (“Get a real job,” I’d say, and hang up.) My wife had finally gotten her own cell phone and, thankfully, trained her friends to use her number. Once she got the thing, it wasn’t very long before it had taken over her waking day. She even carries it with her when she goes out to walk; it measures her distance, which in turn contributes to her cat lovers’ group and translates into monetary benefit. Then, a few months ago, our landline went kerflooey. First it started to buzz and frizzle during a call, then it just went dead. Getting it fixed turned out to be more complicated, and more costly, then one would have thought. “It would be cheaper for us to just get another cell phone,” suggested my wife. “We can even get it with the same number.” Why do we need to do that? You already have your phone. “But what if I’m out and have to call you? You’ll need to have a phone here.” My fate was sealed. Now I have my own personal “phone.” It’s sitting here near my left elbow and, every so often, it chirps to remind me it’s there. My whole being is reacting antagonistically to this little monster. I am constrained by my diminishing grip on sanity to not cooperate or become adept at its use. I have refused to read the instruction manual (available only online, BTW). It is irrational to feel hatred for a mere object, but that is the state to which I have been reduced. I don’t want the convenience of it, or the ease of use, or the multifarious applications. I just want to be left alone.


 

Henry, you seem like such a kind soul, I hesitate to use the term "Luddite ", but there it is. I side with your wife on this one. I do, however, share your opinions of telemarketers, and am tempted to use language with them that I wouldn't use in polite company. But then I remember that they are human beings, so I am simply brusque. On dit "brusque" parce que le mot est francais.

Laurie

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Padfoot wrote:

Henry, you seem like such a kind soul, I hesitate to use the term "Luddite ", but there it is. I side with your wife on this one. I do, however, share your opinions of telemarketers, and am tempted to use language with them that I wouldn't use in polite company. But then I remember that they are human beings, so I am simply brusque. On dit "brusque" parce que le mot est francais.

Laurie


You see, dear Laurie, even if it occurred to me that they're human beings, I still like animals better.  I'll plead nolo to being a Luddite, notwithstanding that, here I am, communicating with a person far away on a new fangled lap top computer.  Life goes on...  


 
HenryM wrote:


You see, dear Laurie, even if it occurred to me that they're human beings, I still like animals better.  I'll plead nolo to being a Luddite, notwithstanding that, here I am, communicating with a person far away on a new fangled lap top computer.  Life goes on...  

Anyone who can correctly use "notwithstanding " in a sentence can be forgiven for Luddite tendencies ☺️. 


Laurie

 

Hi Henry, I am with you on this one. I hate my cell phone with a passion. I too resisted getting one for years. My husband is a worse Luddite than you as he still doesn't have one and I'm sure I can safely say he never will. I only use mine when I feel it's really necessary and those occasions are infrequent. My friends know my cell is not the way to contact me unless they don't mind having their call returned two or three weeks later. I am resentful that there are so many things in our society now that require you to have a cell phone. We stubbornly hang on to our land line. We screen our calls most of the time so the telemarketers don't stand a chance. The calls that bug me the most are the scammers, the guys who say they are from Revenue Canada (they don't even do enough research to learn that the proper name is Canada Revenue Agency) and that I owe a bunch of money and they are coming to arrest me if I don't press two or something. My response is always the same. I ask "How do you sleep at night?". They are usually quite confused by this and it takes a couple of repeats before they get the jist and hang up.

Terry


 

  Hi Henry, 

Not to worry I have a friend that feels the same way. He does a lot for a lot of people and his rang and beeped one time too often, well now let's just say it broke and he won't have another one. 

 I too took a long time to get one, because no body uses a C.B. anymore I guess. Lol ..mtnman 

 

Hello HenryM. 

Thank you so much for another interesting and provocative post. My initial reaction was to agree with most of what you said about the 'PHONE'. However, I have an alternative perspective, which I now share with you:

1) I used to have a 'palmtop', on which I would write many of my rhymes and much else besides, including acting as a 'memory-bank'. This was very convenient as it was about the size of a a large mobile phone and I could even print stuff from it. 

2) Alongside the palmtop, I would lug around a camera, lenses and tripod which, in those days, was an acceptable load for wildlife photography.

3) I would also have things like a  map/compass to log where I was and where I was going without getting lost.

When these new mobile phones became of age and had all these conveniences encompassed in one device, I welcomed the idea that I could dispense with everything else and just have the one, relatively small  item to carry around. I rarely ever use the 'telephone' aspect and most people do not know my number. However, it has been invaluable on one or two occasions when there has been an emergency out in the field - so to speak. Mine also has a 'rain app', so that I can get live satelite updates on exactly where the rain clouds are at any one time.

I had a problem with the devices at first because they kept falling out of my pocket, which meant I lost two in the river and one down the toilet. However that problem was resolved when I made a pouch which hangs around my neck and swings like a pendulum when I bend down, which means the device stays put and secure.

My perspective is; that I do not view this device as a 'PHONE' because that it not its primary use for me. In fact, I have it on pay as you go and the amount it costs me is negligable, as the phone and the internet barely gets used. 

I sometimes get the odd telemarketing person and my immediate response, before they can launch into their sales pitch, is to ask them for their details, so that I can report them to the relevant authorities, as I am on a phone-preference service and they should not be cold-calling me. With no exceptions, every one of them have hung-up immediately. This gives me some small satisfaction that I have retained a smidgeon of control over a situation that has been forced on me by unscrupulous scammers. From my perspective this type of uninvited intrusion into people's lives is yet another form of sytematised, money-motivated  'bullying', which is enough of an irritant to provoke a rhyme or two. 

Best wishes

Bill

PS: My mind's memory is becoming almost non-existent , so I forgot one of the most important uses for this device and that is as a memory orgainiser: It helps me identify times, dates and many other things that I would otherwise forget. I have programmed it to 'alarm' me about birthdays etc. and I have also been known to put in times for things like meals - as I tend to lose track of human time when I am doing 'stuff' that always seems much more important.  

 

Hi all yes my wife was first to get a cell phone as our daughters talked her into it as neither one lived in the area and texting didnt cost anything like long distance calling, but eventually she talked me into getting one as my bro and i used to go out on Lake Superior fishing in a small boat and she worried about that plus i also go deer hunting and she worried about that so i got one of those cheap nokia flip phones and the funny part about that was once we are out on the water or deep into the woods there is no cell service so the phone was of no use anyway, but i guess it gave my wife peace of mind. I once made the mistake of taking a pic of a wolf track that was bigger than the palm of my hand  and showed it to my wife and she freaked out so it was pics of tweety birds and squirrels after that.

 
Bill wrote:

Hello HenryM. 

Thank you so much for another interesting and provocative post. My initial reaction was to agree with most of what you said about the 'PHONE'. However, I have an alternative perspective, which I now share with you:

1) I used to have a 'palmtop', on which I would write many of my rhymes and much else besides, including acting as a 'memory-bank'. This was very convenient as it was about the size of a a large mobile phone and I could even print stuff from it. 

2) Alongside the palmtop, I would lug around a camera, lenses and tripod which, in those days, was an acceptable load for wildlife photography.

3) I would also have things like a  map/compass to log where I was and where I was going without getting lost.

When these new mobile phones became of age and had all these conveniences encompassed in one device, I welcomed the idea that I could dispense with everything else and just have the one, relatively small  item to carry around. I rarely ever use the 'telephone' aspect and most people do not know my number. However, it has been invaluable on one or two occasions when there has been an emergency out in the field - so to speak. Mine also has a 'rain app', so that I can get live satelite updates on exactly where the rain clouds are at any one time.

I had a problem with the devices at first because they kept falling out of my pocket, which meant I lost two in the river and one down the toilet. However that problem was resolved when I made a pouch which hangs around my neck and swings like a pendulum when I bend down, which means the device stays put and secure.

My perspective is; that I do not view this device as a 'PHONE' because that it not its primary use for me. In fact, I have it on pay as you go and the amount it costs me is negligable, as the phone and the internet barely gets used. 

I sometimes get the odd telemarketing person and my immediate response, before they can launch into their sales pitch, is to ask them for their details, so that I can report them to the relevant authorities, as I am on a phone-preference service and they should not be cold-calling me. With no exceptions, every one of them have hung-up immediately. This gives me some small satisfaction that I have retained a smidgeon of control over a situation that has been forced on me by unscrupulous scammers. From my perspective this type of uninvited intrusion into people's lives is yet another form of sytematised, money-motivated  'bullying', which is enough of an irritant to provoke a rhyme or two. 

Best wishes

Bill

PS: My mind's memory is becoming almost non-existent , so I forgot one of the most important uses for this device and that is as a memory orgainiser: It helps me identify times, dates and many other things that I would otherwise forget. I have programmed it to 'alarm' me about birthdays etc. and I have also been known to put in times for things like meals - as I tend to lose track of human time when I am doing 'stuff' that always seems much more important.  


Hi Bill,  It's interesting that you use your phone for almost everything except making a phone call.  I'm pretty much the opposite of you in that the only thing I know how to do is make or receive a phone call!  My phone might be a "smart phone" but its owner is pretty dumb.  I'm not sure how I would even go about learning all of its other uses and quite frankly I'd just about rather scrub toilet bowls than spend the time figuring it out.  I'm very happy for the people who find their phones make their lives easier, just don't try to convert me! That's my mini rant for the day.

Terry

 
delgrl525 wrote:


Hi Bill,  It's interesting that you use your phone for almost everything except making a phone call.  I'm pretty much the opposite of you in that the only thing I know how to do is make or receive a phone call!  My phone might be a "smart phone" but its owner is pretty dumb.  I'm not sure how I would even go about learning all of its other uses and quite frankly I'd just about rather scrub toilet bowls than spend the time figuring it out.  I'm very happy for the people who find their phones make their lives easier, just don't try to convert me! That's my mini rant for the day.

Terry

Hello Terry.

Thanks for reading and replying to my post, in which you will have noticed that the things 'I' use the device for are replacing gadgets that I was lugging around with me before. I therefore had a motivation for having them condensed into one device. Also, another very useful use of these devices is in terms of encouraging close personal communication: Our grandchildren take great delight in spending hours in one-to-one 'tutoring us' on how to use these devices. Personally, I think it is great that we have found an acceptable mode for our grandchildren to communicate in a helpful, acceptable and 'equal' way with their aging grandparents. I am happy to stay (relatively) silent and appear ignorant in my questioning, whilst they show us how clever they are in this field of experience and expertise. It's a bit like showing an interest and praising them for their schoolwork, whilst contemplating that they still have a lot to learn. 

Anyway, just to clarify a point you make: I would never deem to try to convert anyone to my way of thinking or doing anything in life, as I am a great believer in 'SELF'-Organised Living And Reflecting (SOLAR). I have always thought that, the extent to which people are orgainsed by others is the extent to which they are 'enslaved'. 

Best wishes

Bill

 
Bill wrote:

Hello Terry.

Thanks for reading and replying to my post, in which you will have noticed that the things 'I' use the device for are replacing gadgets that I was lugging around with me before. I therefore had a motivation for having them condensed into one device. Also, another very useful use of these devices is in terms of encouraging close personal communication: Our grandchildren take great delight in spending hours in one-to-one 'tutoring us' on how to use these devices. Personally, I think it is great that we have found an acceptable mode for our grandchildren to communicate in a helpful, acceptable and 'equal' way with their aging grandparents. I am happy to stay (relatively) silent and appear ignorant in my questioning, whilst they show us how clever they are in this field of experience and expertise. It's a bit like showing an interest and praising them for their schoolwork, whilst contemplating that they still have a lot to learn. 

Anyway, just to clarify a point you make: I would never deem to try to convert anyone to my way of thinking or doing anything in life, as I am a great believer in 'SELF'-Organised Living And Reflecting (SOLAR). I have always thought that, the extent to which people are orgainsed by others is the extent to which they are 'enslaved'. 

Best wishes

Bill

Hi Bill,  I certainly never meant to imply that I thought you were trying to convert me!  Just another of my attempts at humour that often go over like lead balloons! You certainly make good use of your cell and have pointed out that there are many ways it can make one's life easier.  One of my problems is that I am a technophobe and I tend to stubbornly hang on to things that have always worked for me instead of trying to embrace some new technology that baffles me and scares the living bejesus out of me.  I am always impressed with people of my generation who are charging forward into our new world with fearless  enthusiasm, people like you.

All the best,

Terry

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