My new Smart Watch isn’t so smart. Of the various functions it is supposed to provide, the main one that interests me is the distance measurement. I want to know how far I’ve walked. Just before I head out, I turn it on and allow it to connect with the satellite. In moments, the GPS is in position and off I go. However, whichever orbiting satellite this instrument connects to, I suspect it was manufactured in Russia and is busily emitting misinformation. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, as I round the corner off the hill, it tells me to vote for Trump. I walk the same route every morning and haven’t gotten the same distance reading yet, with a disturbing variance as great as one mile. On an approximate three-mile walk, that’s a little too much error. Early this morning while it was still dark, I was tooling down Blair Stone Road, the wet grass strip along the sidewalk sparkling in the municipal glare of the streetlights, when I checked my distance: 2.34 mi. it read. Yesterday it had announced 1.74 at the same spot. So this thing is worthless other than as a kind of goad to get me out on the road, the defective inspiration that it provides, as Churchill would have said, something up with which I will have to put.
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