When this is over ...

When this is over may we never take for granted:

A handshake with a stranger

Full shelves at the store

Conversations with neighbors

A crowded theatre

Friday night out

A routine checkup

The school or work rush every morning

Coffee with a friend

The stadium roaring

Each deep breath

Life itself

When this ends may we find:

That we have become more like the people

We wanted to be

We hoped to be

And may we stay that way......

Better for each other

Because of the worst!

Just, K

You are so right we take so much for granted and don't realise it until we don't have or can't do certain things. There is an old saying  "You don't miss the water until the well runs dry". Hopefully this will make us be more  appreciative of even the small things.

Karen...and the church says AMEN!

Hello Karen. 

Thanks for such a pertinent  post at this time of unprecedented societal disturbance. 

You got me agreeing with you and thinking - firstly, that we should not take life for granted and secondly, that try to do better for each other. To this end, I felt that we are simply not doing enough. So, in my usual way, I have tried to capture this concept in a rhyme to complement your own take on this sentiment. 

Best wishes

Bill

IT’S NOT ENOUGH.

It’s not enough for us to care,
to be compassionate and share,
we must make sure that things are fair
for those who may be in despair.

It’s not enough to just be kind,
and empathise within our mind,
for there are things that need a cure
and need us to do so much more.

It’s not enough to be content,
for we are all, to some extent,
reliant on each other for
avoiding what is the last straw.

It’s not enough to live our life
in ways that simply avoid strife,
for we should all be prepared to
fight for things both fair and true.

It’s not enough for one good deed,
to be done for those in need,
for we must stop those full of greed
who would perpetuate their creed.

It’s not enough to think of us
as not someone to make a fuss,
when we know things have for too long
basically, been cruel and wrong.

It’s not enough stand aside,
ignore what’s wrong, or try to hide,
for if we do, we are complicit
with those who would upon us shit.

There are kind people, who do stuff,
then think that they have done enough.
But unkind people will persist,
so, all kind people must resist.

                                        B. Withers 2020

You never cease to amaze me Bill ... with all your clever words. Just, K.

Yo Sis!  

  Yeah, I guess Mom and Dad were right when they always said you got the Looks AND the Brains!  Well said!  I'd just caution you and everyone else NOT to get your hopes too high up that humanity will learn much from the current pandemic.  History has shown our memories are short and quickly forgotten.  But hopefully it will instill a sense of "family" that has slowly erroded away and make at least a few folks realize what's really important in life.  The lower car insurance, no traffic and politeness I see in so many folks right now will only be temporary.........but it sure is nice. Hey.........just wondering.......what did Mom and Dad ever tell you I got?

;0)

Brother Bob

I get the feeling that the aggregate contribution from K and all the replies defines appreciation and hope. That’s because you guys are so smart. The resason you shared your smarts though is because of your goodness, caring and flat out compassion.
I feel really (not real) fortunate with you folks around.
Mike

Oh HECK NO, you silly........we're all just vying for the top 10 posters spots so we don't have to pay the damn membership!!!!  Get with it man!!

;0)

bob

w30bob wrote:
Oh HECK NO, you silly........we're all just vying for the top 10 posters spots so we don't have to pay the damn membership!!!! Get with it man!!

;0)
bob

Hello Bob.
This is an interesting and maybe humorous comment of yours, which 'might' perhaps reflect a small proportion of what is happening if you omitted the word 'all'.

I have no idea how many contributors have opted for life membership, but your remarks would surely not apply to them, as the number of contributions would make absolutely no difference.
Whilst I am usually both sceptical and cynical about people's behaviour, in this instance I want to, and am inclined to believe, that the majority of people who contribute to this site do so for less materialistic reasons than you seem to be suggesting. The reasons people post on here are, of course, is open to speculation, but having read most of the posts over a number of years, I would guess that many contributors are either looking for help, support and empathy, or have decided that they are in a good position to be giving it.

A while back, Admin deemed it appropriate to 'award' me life membership for my contributions. While I was somewhat flattered by this gesture, as I have never used the 'benefits' that full membership offers, it really made no difference in terms of my contributions to the site.

There are many other facets to such a simple remark that I am tempted to comment upon, but instead, I am retreating into rhyming mode to gather my thoughts and and clarify what it was that really made me feel uncomfortable about the sentiment you expressed.

Best wishes
Bill

w30bob wrote:
Oh HECK NO, you silly........we're all just vying for the top 10 posters spots so we don't have to pay the damn membership!!!! Get with it man!!

;0)
bob

Hello Bob.
Let me begin by stating that I firmly believe, from most of your previous excellent correspondence on this site, that you do not really mean some of the more contentious things you write, in the ways that they ‘might’ be interpreted by the readers.
Your latest contribution left me feeling somewhat uncomfortable and I needed some time to figure out why.
I liked the observation that some posters might be in an informal competition for the top 10 posters spots, as this appeals to my cynical sense of humour.
However, to concept seemed to be overshadowed by the words you used as a prologue and an epilogue to the main hypothesis.
Let me explain:
“Oh HECK NO” Is a perfectly reasonable exclamation, indicating that you do not agree with what had been said previously.
However, you proceed with “you silly------“.
‘Silly’ is a word which is associated with foolishness, absurdity, mindless, imbecility and, as such, one of its effects is to belittle, disparage, ridicule, and deride.
It is in fact what I have described in many rhymes as ‘name-calling’.
You conclude with “Get with it man!!” - which sounds a bit like the sort of command that is said within organisations to get individuals to tow the company line.
‘Name-calling’ and ‘Telling’ people what to do or what to think is a classic bullying trait which is particularly pertinent in domestic abuse cases where the covert bully presents to the outside world as a perfectly acceptable individual, whereas in the sanctuary of their own homes, they subtly belittle and disempower their partners by using words in this sort of way.
Very often they do not even realise they are indulging in such activities because they have done so for most of their waking lives and do not perceive it as ‘wrong’.
Someone such as myself, who has spent more than 40 years working with those who have been ‘victims’ of such abuse, I am sensitised to the use of words in this way and have chosen to write rhyming verse in an effort to ‘expose’ some of the deleterious effects it has.
I hope this does not offend you, but is viewed as an expression of an alternative perspective on the use of words.
Best wishes
Bill
WHAT IS SAID AND WHAT IS HEARD.

When we communicate with words,
then what is said ‘v’ what is heard
might in its meaning disagree
as it transfers from you to me.

Sometimes the message that is sent
is not the one that we have meant,
so, when the message is received
receivers may become aggrieved.

It seems to me that words can be
used and abused by a bully
to dictate and intimidate,
to dominate and subjugate.

It’s then I sit down with my pen
and try to make up rhyme, which then
might highlight what is going on
referring to the etymon. (origins of words)

Words which once were all in fashion
may be repeated with some passion,
but in these more enlightened times
become a no-no in my rhymes.

Words which imply harm or hate,
or those which simply denigrate,
I can no longer tolerate,
lest these words then proliferate.

Sometimes, some of these words are used
in humour, which can then be fused
with covert bullying techniques,
which forms the focus of critiques.

Whenever bullying’s about
I like to try to point it out,
especially when communicators
are not aware there are translators.

                                          Be Withers 2020

Hi Bill!

  Wow..........you really are thinking HARD about a post I didn't think about at all!!  Two points for you........and please don't be offended my my crassness.  

First point.....yes, I do shoot from the hip when I write.  I've never understood why people don't write the EXACT same way they talk.  Everyone (at least used to) tries to sound very "correct" when they type a message, except for those who have a poor grasp of grammar or just don't give a shit.  I don't get that.  I want my personality to come thru when I type.......not be sterilized and homogenized into some standardized form of communication.  And I realize because I don't follow the norm of what people have come to expect from written communication......that my intentions are not cleary conveyed or understood.  I'm a sarcastic bastard all the time.  Life is too serious in too many other aspects......so I choose to  lighten up when I communicate.  If you spoke to me on the phone after reading what I write.....you'd know it's me immediately.  In person it's much appreciated, but online it's hit or miss.  Those who are like-minded get it immediately......those who are not....usually don't, or struggle to find my intent.  I appologize if I offended in my quick, rather thoughtless off-the-cuff response.....it wasn't intended.  It was intended as a rather jokingly reply just thrown up there on the fly.  To all those who've shelled out your hard earned money to be a contributing (or non contributing) member of this site........I appologize for lumping you into the group of us who appreciate (and utilize) the "free membership for posting" award.........and I was poking fun at us, myself included......not you.  Thanks for pointing that out Bill, really.  

Second point......and I'm serious when I say I mean no offense or disrespect with this.......if you look at say the last 50 posts you put up here you'd notice a very common distinct theme.  You can't miss it.  I believe you are OBSESSED with bullying.  Not merely trying to bring attention to the cause.......not trying to help those with the condition, but addicted to applying the moniker to almost everything you see or read.  To the point of totally "not seeing the forrest for the trees".  I'd bet you can't go one full day without thinking about bullying in some form or another......it consumes you.  To me it's just a bit odd to constantly be discussing that subject on what's primarily an ostomy focused website.  And I hope you read this, consider what I'm saying and reply back that I'm wrong, with at least a quick justification.......I really do.  Because if I'm not wrong......I feel really bad for you.  Bullying is surely real and should not be tolerated.....but when you take a simple adjective like "silly" and forumulate a path to full blown "bullying" with it.......I'd say you need to "get a hobby" (and a hobby that's NOT related to bullying).  Again, you're obviously a smart, well versed man........and I'm not trying to offend.  I'm simply pointing out an observation I've made about you that you might not see yourself.  I appreciate feedback I receive about myself on all fronts........I find it a great way to see myself from other's eyes......I'm hoping you do too.    

I'll leave it there, and try to be more communicative in my posts.........especially when I make blanket statements, accusations or possibly incendiary comments......so as not to offend those not in my targeted audience.  Thanks for listening!

regards,

bob

Hello Bob.
Thanks for replying to my post and making the points that you do.
The observation that you make about my seemingly seeing bullying in almost everything, every day is absolutely spot on. There are several reasons for this and the first and most obvious one is that every day I am presented with evidence of bullying from so many different quarters.
The second reason is that I still have many ‘clients’ who share with me their own experiences as victims of covert and overt bullying on a daily basis, and they expect me to understand and empathise with their plight. Because I take my work seriously, I do not turn the other cheek, deny that what they are telling me is true, or suggest that what they view as bullying and abuse, is simply the perpetrators joking with them. I feel obliged to help them perceive abusive behaviour for what it is, and hopefully help them to manage it accordingly.
Over many years I have become knowledgeable enough about bullying to have identified some of the most common strategies and developed some theories as to how and why these behaviours have become so persistent.
Just as many bullies appear to enjoy their behaviour, I enjoy my work trying to expose their bullying games and tactics. It may not stop them, but it seems to help their victims cope and break free, whereas before they were dominated and trapped in abusive relationships.
You are absolutely right when you say that the subject appears like an obsession and, in line with many other writers, I do indeed try to think about the concept on a daily basis so that I can produce the books I am working on at present in time for my self-imposed publication deadlines.
Interestingly, on a daily basis, I tend to be much more involved in ‘caring’ for and about people and things, than I am with the actual bullying. Most of my working days are spent in my ‘hobby’ of simply being ‘kind’ and listening to people. Thus, you do not need to feel bad for me for indulging in the specific activity of exposing bullying, for, apart from this, I have a host of other things to occupy my mind and time, that do not involve human bullying at all.
Nonetheless, I have already decided that one of my next books will be substantially different to those recently written, so perhaps my correspondence on here may present in a different way.
With the exception, that when I encounter those things (posts) that look in any way like they are related to bullying, then I am likely to revert to responding in what I consider to be the most appropriate way.
Best wishes
Bill

Bill, 

I appreciate the kind things you say on this site. You are without question, one of the kindest people on this site, and I appreciate your attention to the problem of bullying, as this problem exists everywhere, including on this site. So thank you for dealing with it in your unique way. I don't think you need to get a hobby at all. Carry on.

Laurie

Bill... I've always enjoyed your rhymes . Don't change for anyone that's who you are. A caring individual and your appreciated. 

Angelicamarie

You getting a bit reflective in your old age bro?

Must I remind you ... there are analytical, creative, and practical smarts. Mom and dad said we both had brains but in different ways. Me ... well, I was and still am, the creative one. You were always practical ... you had the street smarts and common sense ... most of the time, until puberty set in. While they were wondering what planet, I was on with my imagination, they tended to listen to you more. Analytical I can be with words ... but not with numbers. That’s your strength. Remember when the choir teacher told me to “mouth the words?” I can’t sing either.

Now, as far as good looks goes, just imagine me with no hair. Remember when you HAD hair? When you grow yours back, we can have a vote-in contest.

My turn for reflection in my old age ... we are on this crazy journey called life. Part of it is helping and inspiring others. That is where YOU definitely excel in – hair or no hair. I get caught up in ego a lot of times. I will say, though, that we both have equal amounts of wit and humor.  We both use "..." when we write. I limit them to 3. Genes work in mysterious ways.

Remember ... no more competing, unless it involves a sport:) Hang in there!

Just, K (my name using immagination)

You say the 10 top posters have their membership fees waived?  Why didn't you tell me that before b-r-o-t-h-e-r. Family matters you know. Game on bro. Just, K.

Hi Bill,  Your posts are always appreciated by me and many others on this site.  You don't need to change a thing.  You are unfailingly kind, empathic and helpful to all.  Your verses are insightful and often showcase your vast knowledge and experience on the subject of bullying, a serious and prevalent problem that exists everywhere in our society, including on this site.  You should never hesitate to call it out whenever and where ever you find it.  You have my gratitude and respect.

All the best,

Terry

What Terry said Bill :) I could not have expressed myself better. Just, K.

Hi Bill,

  Thank you for the explanation about my observation!  I must say I was wrong........you are not obsessed, despite you're agreeing with me. Rather, you have found your calling in life!  Now how rare is that!!  I'm very jealous. 

regards,

bob 

Thank you for your kind words, they are much appreciated. Does this mean I can continue posting rhymes relating to bullying  on MAO?

Best wishes

Bill

Bill, I don't think you need to ask anyone's permission. You have a lot of support on this site. Bring on the iambic pentameter, the limerick, the sonnet, the rhyming couplets, the elegy - whatever you want, on whatever topic you want. Your poetry on bullying is insightful and has important lessons for those who wish to learn them. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Laurie

Is THAT the trick to it, Bob?  I didn't know it could be so simple.  ; )

Well, I've learned something new, today...  ; )

Lily17~

It's really neat to witness folks share their differing perceptions and/or opinions to their mutual benefits with respect. Refreshing.

Thanks Bill and Bob.

Mike

Mike,

I don't believe you could have phrased it any better, and I heartily agree.  

Lily17~

Thank you so much, Lily.  I appreciate your kindness.

Sincerely,

Mike

Copy-that, seconded, ditto, idem, mucho, moi aussi here ...  Just, K - glued to the tube ...