Venting My History of Crap
Oh my, where does one begin?
Got married young, had a son in 1978, then a daughter in 1980.
Well, in 1981 I lost a kidney after having kidney stones that had turned into bigger rocks and engulfed the entire kidney.
Physically abused, then divorced on our 5th anniversary.
About 5 years later, I remarried.
Then cervical ovarian cancer in 1990 and they removed it all. I was better...again.
I was pretty good health-wise, skinny, ate healthy, exercising, adventurous. I traveled the world.
Then in 1995, I was so sick in my gut. Everything came out by every means. They removed my gall bladder thinking that caused the pain and other symptoms. Nope, didn't do it. They put me on all sorts of meds including Entocort, pain meds...After 2 years, it suddenly disappeared, overnight.
But the next morning, I woke up with a small itchy rash. Within 24 hrs it spread...then swelled...then my skin cracked and blood everywhere. They did a punch biopsy and I was diagnosed with a rare form of PRP (pityaris rubra pilarous). My dermatologist was well known and I was his first acute case. During 2 yrs of being bedridden, peeling my entire body like a snake, lost my nails, eyelashes, almost all my hair screaming in pain as ointments had to be put on my body, so much pain in the shower from water, high doses of methotrexate, kemo, I just wanted to die. No one recognized me. Then as fast as it came, it began remission. I was better?
But wait, there's more!
In 2000, after finally beginning to feel like a regular person, hair grew back, etc., the runs began again. I was still on low doses of methotrexate. Over time, it worsened. What was I doing wrong? Of course, I thought maybe it was the air, so I moved. Nope, it was still happening. I couldn't eat, held nothing down. So, back on Entocort, then all biologics, you name it, I was on it. Every time I landed in the hospital for low sodium, potassium, and unbearable pain. They used me as a test subject, then began shipping me around the USA to other specialists at various hospitals. Sometimes by medical planes, ambulance. I puzzled them all as no treatments worked. I was finally on my 16th colonoscopy each time showing colitis, but slowly they discovered it was turning into a rare form of refractive microscopic collegeous colitis. I still traveled the world and continued doing my bucket list, tried sucking it up, life goes on. I used to say at least it's not cancer, and I'm not dying.
By 2019, I was admitted to the hospital weekly then every couple of days. Always the same thing. Shi* happens. I was eating meals in my bathroom as stuff wouldn't stay in anyway, curled up in a ball due to the pain. Finally, my dr said...I need you to go to a surgeon, there's no more hope. The next day I went to see him on an emergency basis. The day after I was admitted for surgery. This was May 2019. I was so ill, I had no idea what he was going to do, I just knew he was removing my infection.
I woke up and he said...you were so infected I had to remove everything down there. Were my organs that valuable that they wanted more of them? I cried so hard. He told me he took out my large intestine and much of my small, removed my ass and my appendix and closed my internal cavity to prevent what's left from dropping. I was introduced to my ileostomy...ok, no big deal I thought, so I'm not an asshol* anymore, I'm a bag lady, but I kept crying. I said...you took everything, even my vagina...he laughed and said no and it will still work just fine!
I was released in 5 days, went home but couldn't pee. Back in the hospital. I was infected everywhere inside. So there I stayed for 1 month. Now it's the end of June. I went home with an IV and antibiotic for an hour 4 times a day and the best visiting nurse for months. In September, I finally graduated! I never felt better...like a teenager again, healthy, skinny, and owned my ileostomy thanks to the support of my daughter and support groups for Ostomy.
That same week, my husband of 30 yrs was diagnosed with cancer and left the earth in November 2019. Then Covid hit the world, I'm thankful it didn't hit me.
What a ride my life has been....but now my path will begin again with positivity, love of life, grateful to be alive and well.
Thanks for letting me vent...now those who ask bits and pieces of my health...now you know. Live life as full as you can while we have today and tomorrow and Thank you for listening to me vent. That felt good.
I look forward to listening to your vent, I'm a great listener and no one's journey is worse or better than another. We are all exceptional individuals, embrace one another with respect and compassion.
Ritz...(my childhood nickname)...life is like that cracker, fragile.