Ostomy Memories of Jokes

NOT EVERYONE LIKES JOKES, and some are so lacking in a native sense of humor that one feels sorry for them and their too serious take on life. I saw an item recently that referred to a study that professed that a sense of humor is something that can be taught. I find that ridiculous. Taking some poor slob without a sense of humor and attempting to teach him to have one is on a par with trying to turn a gay person straight, so-called conversion therapy. It can’t be done. I count myself fortunate that I inherited a good, abiding sense of humor with which to filter my experiences. You can’t trust a person who is overly serious. I have a friend who lives around the corner from me and he and I go for a walk several times a week. He has a good sense of humor but it is that of a connoisseur; I can’t tell him just any old joke. I have to be selective. He’s smart and he’s been around and he can see a punch line coming a mile away, so I have to limit what jokes I tell to ones that have surprise outcomes. Here’s one that gave him a hearty laugh:
An Amish woman was on her way home in her horse drawn carriage when she was stopped by a cop. “I’m not going to give you a ticket,” he said, “but I need to warn you that one of the reflectors on the rear of your carriage is broken.” Thank you, officer, she said. I’ll let my husband know as soon as I get home. “And one more thing,” he said, looking over her rig. “Some people might think that having the one rein around your horse’s testicles like that is cruelty to animals.” I’ll be sure and tell my husband she said, and off she went. When she got home, she informed her husband about what happened and the broken rear reflector. “Oh, and one other thing,” she told him. “He thinks we need to have our emergency brake fixed.”

Hello HenryM.
I did appreciate your joke, but like your friend, I do not appreciate all types of so-called ‘humour’. This is because so much of it seems to contain covert, and sometimes overt messages of discrimination, hatred and ‘bullying’.
In 2019 I published a small book ‘Laugh or Lament’ which extolled the virtues of raising a smile about various disabilities. However, I will quote from the introduction of this book:

‘Many of my rhymes were written to capture the serious and negative nature of people’s experiences and circumstances so, teasing out the humorousness and converting the concepts from negatives to comical positives is a new endeavour and a new perspective on some old themes.
I believe that putting across this sort of humour is a very serious business and not something to be indulged in lightly or in any way deriding, judging or taking the Mickey out of the people or their conditions. Nonetheless, to coin a phrase:

“To laugh or cry – that is the question!”

“If there is a choice of whether to laugh or cry, then laughing must be the positive option.”

A word of caution:
Comedy is not simply about the words used to convey a message. It is much more about ‘how’ things are said, in what context and to which audience. Reading the script in a publication such as this may, therefore, not come across as particularly amusing. However, as it is primarily an aide memoir for my future live performances, I can only hope that the written word will give a flavour to what I might achieve in terms of entertainment.

JUST FOR LAUGHS.

I write this verse for those who may
use humour in communiqué.
Witty gems that are so funny
cannot be bought for vulgar money.

Give me just one laugh a day
to keep my sadder thoughts at bay.
I would go that extra mile
to bring forth a deep-felt smile.

Sometimes it’s easy to be sad
with all the problems I have had.
But when I read those jokes out loud
it tends to lift the darkest cloud.

Jokes can lift emotions high.
They make me laugh or sometimes cry.
If they are wicked or filthy
they tend to make me feel guilty.

I feel I should not laugh at jokes
that ridicule less able folks.
For I have seen the darker half
of these things that make us laugh.

I never seemed to have the mind
to laugh at things that are unkind.
What some humour does for me
is simply raise my empathy.

I am confused to be amused
with all of my emotions fused.
That which should not make me smile
will steal my self-respect a while.

Nonetheless, I giggle too
at humour aimed at me and you.
Out goes all my good intent
as it gives way to merriment.

But I can’t seem to help myself.
Humour creeps along with stealth.
Even under saddest cloud
suddenly I’ll laugh out loud.

So I pay tribute to the ones
who produce the jokes and puns.
They bring me pleasure midst the pain.
A laugh is treasure found again.

                                       B. Withers 2011

YOU’VE GOTTA LAUGH.

“LET’S JOKE ABOUT ADVERSITY
AND LAUGH AT ITS ABSURDITY”.
-

Talking about ‘absurdity’; I have often thought that whoever designed the human body must surely have been a comedian.
I mean! Architecturally, designing us to have sex organs in the immediate vicinity of our waste disposal units, must be the ultimate in hygiene risks, alongside potential embarrassment and humiliation.’

Best wishes
Bill

I like to post jokes when I find them. I know what I find funny may not be funny to others. You can use any of mine with your friend if you find them suitable.