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Ostomy Memories of Eating Out


THESE DAYS, EATING OUT IN A REAL RESTAURANT is taking a chance, I suppose, until this Covid stuff dies out. But we wanted a celebratory meal last night, and so we headed to our favorite family-owned Italian restaurant called Little Italy. Usually, looking at the menu is a waste of time, since we both always get the same thing. When you find something that you like, stick with it. But I got something different and very simple: spaghetti with sausage. We even both ordered a glass of vino, unusual for us. The waiter was a bit of a dolt, first not bringing my wife's wine, then not bringing my salad when he brought her salad. For dessert, we split a piece of N.Y. cheesecake. We both ended up just where one ought to be under the circumstances: pleasantly full but not too full. I cancelled the order for wheel chairs to help us to our car. My wife has learned from long experience not to allow me to pay the check, since I am a certifiable cheapskate and a lousy tipper. I don't hesitate to admit this personality quirk, since, in truth, I am rather proud of it. I don't even look at the check when it comes. I don't wish to know how much we spent, I don't want to know how large a tip she left, and I am quite comfortable in my obliviousness. What I don't know won't irritate, offend, or keep me up past my bedtime.

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Hello HenryM.

Thanks for this thought-provoking post.

In the days when I was on sponsored trips abroad, I used to get severe guilt-pangs when in expensive restaurants (even though I was not paying). My guilt was brought about by the thought of all the worthwhile charities that might have benefitted from the excessive amounts of money spent on food that I did not need. After one such outing, I felt that enough was enough, and decided to boycott any more meals out. Having shared my feelings with mine hosts, they were surprisingly understanding about my stance on this matter, and negotiated with me a compromise, whereby I would still attend, but would minimise my food intake to whatever suited me and they would donate what might have been spent, to a charity of my choice. This worked out well for everyone, as I chose these evenings as a 'fasting' session where I would dine on bread and water. This was wholeheartedly supported by my fellow diners, so I did not feel as though I was being unduly 'awkward'. 

Of course, the sponsors were getting tax breaks on their donations to charities, so it made little difference to them whether the money went to the restaurant or to the charities, but that's a different story. 

When my wife and I venture out, I make a point of never spending any more than I spend on the bill for feeding the birds and animals in the garden. The excess calculated from what I 'might' have spent, then goes to our selected charities. 

I do find it interesting how 'guilt' can sometimes motivate us to change our behaviour for the  betterment of others. 

Best wishes


Reply to Bill

Guilt is the way your conscience has of telling you that you're having too good a time. 


Hi Henry my wife and i recently celebrated our anniversary at our favorite restaurant on shores of Lake Superior compliments of our daughters, i had the baked salmon with asstd. veggies and my wife had smoked half chicken and veggies, needless to say when the dessert  triple layer choc. cake came neither of us could touch it until we got home. By the way that full moon followed us home after dinner.  


Tuesday after returning from my trip to Virginia, I realized there is no food left in my home . But while visiting I ate like a king . Every day I went out to different restaurants with my son for lunch and every night eating better delicious meals ( he is a seasoned home chef). Tonight finally with food in my home I will prepare fresh grilled asparagus ( I only eat the tips) , grilled marinated steak , twice baked loaded potatoes,and a crispy Caesar salad with homemade garlic croutons. The vino ? Most likely just a glass of ice tea ! 
My tip .... indulge once in awhile,we deserve it 



WAAAy back in my dating years I heard tipping was according to the service you got. Sometimes people take things way too far. I dated a guy and we went out to eat the waitress was very unpleasant. When we got ready to leave he said wait for me at the door while I leave the tip. When we got outside I asked what took so long. He had ordeded a glass of milk and he put a napkin over the top of the glass and turned it upside down on the table. So there was no way for her to pick it up without milk going everywhere. Needless to say I did not date him anymore.

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