THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO OUR FRIENDLY VERSIFIER, Bill, who is our website’s own Don Quixote, spotting aggressive bullies stationed at every windmill, and tilting after them with his poems as his lance.
Attorneys are, by definition, bullies. They file intimidating law suits, send threatening letters and, in court, strut their stuff like barnyard roosters. The Anglo-American legal system with its engrained adversarial procedure promotes this kind of tough guy, watch-your-step-buster sort of behavior. The adversarial process generally is a system that encourages lawyers to behave like guard dogs, contesting their space or their client’s position with all the fervor that the procedural and ethical rules will allow them to get away with. Opposing parties dispute each other before an independent decision-maker, and may the best case (or, some might say, the best lawyer) carry the day. Some lawyers, I have observed, can be too adversarial, which is not in the best interest of their client. As it turns out, Bill is not the only poet in our midst. Here is my take on it, titled “Adversariness”:
A lawyer who’s too adversarial / May promote his client’s burial, / He can’t his nastiness efface, / Cuts off his nose to spite his case.
Lawyers come and lawyers go, / Repeating “No, no, no, no, no.” / Infrequently do they possess / The candor to say, simply, “Yes.”
Attorneys fight and claw and scratch, / They love a verbal sparring match, / They see the tree but not the forest, / Too often argument adorest.
Lawyers come and lawyers go, / Repeating “Can’t agree, no, no.” / Too bad they rarely can repress / Reluctance to commit to “Yes.”
A lawyer’s combative agenda / May help some Tom or Dick or Brenda, / But for the everyday type client, / Disputive hype is unreliant.
Lawyers come and lawyers go, / Repeating “Where’s my quid pro quo?” / Not able error to confess, / Not happy having to say “Yes.”
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