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Ostomy Memories of the Abominable Glitch

Thu Nov 18, 2021 2:48 am
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WE RECENTLY SUFFERED A PROBLEM SEEING NEW POSTS that our Information Technology gurus explained was “a glitch,” which is the standard description any IT professional provides as an explanation when things go haywire.
The Internet’s the favorite of the mob, I wrote / And life’s a bitch. / But never fear, IT is on the job: / “It’s just a glitch.”
My dictionary defines GLITCH as “a sudden, usually temporary, malfunction or irregularity of equipment.” Since most of us are pretty much ignorant of computer science arcana, this simple explanation satisfies us. We think… I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Just get it up and running, please. On the other hand, if your car breaks down, you’re not going to be satisfied if the mechanic says to you, “Don’t worry; it’s just a glitch. I fixed it. That’ll be $750.”
Even more problematic would be your physician standing over your hospital bed and saying: “Don’t worry, it’s just a glitch. I’ve scheduled you for surgery first thing in the morning. It’s a good thing you have health insurance.”
Perhaps it would make more sense in the context of a sentencing judge peering down at a defendant convicted of assault and battery. “I realize that your anger over the victim having beaten you at cards provoked a sudden temporary malfunction or irregularity of your ability to control yourself. I’m sure it was nothing more than a temperamental glitch. So I’m just going to impose a temporary sentence: one year in jail. Next case!”

These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

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