I’M IN DEEP DOO-DOO. WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER, it occurred to me that two of the most persistent and significant questions of humankind involve chickens. I’ve gone ‘round the bend, I guess. But just think about it… There are no more important ontological issues in our lifetime than: (1) Which came first, the chicken or the egg? (2) Why did the chicken cross the road? I’m guessing that many of you hadn’t fully realized the historical, perhaps even biblical, significance of this noble bird (Gallus gallus domesticus). I am determined not to permit these crucial questions go unanswered any longer. In fact, I have the answer to (2). It’s so obvious as to be beyond dispute. Our good friend Lovely was kind enough to supply me with the answer months ago, and she ought to know. THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD TO PROVE TO THE POSSUM THAT IT COULD BE DONE. Now, the answer to question (1) is not so readily attainable, but I have hit upon a foolproof way to gain the answer. I went on Amazon, from whom one can purchase anything. I ordered a chicken, and I ordered an egg. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? I’ll let you know. [Next week we can talk about which is better, the white meat or the dark meat.]

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