Ostomy Memories of Voices

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HenryM

I HAVE VOICES IN MY HEAD; DON’T YOU? No subject is verboten. The question is, how long do I listen to it before forcing myself to move on? It’s not always easy. For instance, standing in the grocery store check-out line, my eyes can’t help but notice the PayDay candy bars a foot away. GRAB ONE, says the voice. GO AHEAD, JUST ONE, YOU DESERVE IT. Here’s where it gets tricky. The countervailing voice is more subtle. It’s not a goad; it’s a reminder. It relies, not on gross cravings, but on evolved, less obvious, strengths. This is a rather simplistic example, of course. Voices are capable of advocating some awfully bad things. The prisons, hospitals, morgues, and cemeteries are filled with those who listened and obeyed. Some people only hear what they want to hear. Those inner voices, as receptive as they are to solipsistic inclinations, as ego-driven and irrational as they can sometimes prove to be, are quite capable of putting the pressure on the weaker wills among us. And so there are times when we have to hope that the voice in our head can be overcome by the gastric juices in our gut and the gumption in our heart. We rely upon those foundational instincts that we’ve accrued over our lives, our so-called better angels. Just hope the harp isn’t over-shadowed by the drum.

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Caz67

Take a walk on the wild side, Henry. Remember, a bit of bad does you good. Or a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. XX

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Bill

Hello HenryM.
As is often the case, this is another subject that, when examined in more detail, can become quite complex.
During my working years, I spent a considerable amount of time and effort trying to formulate a theory which would help explain this phenomenon for people who ‘suffered’ from those voices which were likely to lead to negative outcomes if followed (or listened to for too long).

My contemplation on this subject led me to the conclusion that internal voices emanate from two completely different sources and therefore should be perceived and treated differently.
The first and most primitive source is that of ‘instincts’. These are primal motivations and do not start off accompanied by ‘thought ’ My theory equated ‘instincts’ with ‘emotions’ as they seem to be inseparable and modern terminology tends to use the two terms as meaning the same thing.

The second source of communication with ones’-self, is via ‘logic’. i.e. We ‘think’ about things rather than acting on ‘instinct/emotions’.

My work involved enabling people with ‘problems’ controlling their instincts/emotions, to pause, and place their emotions into a logical framework so that they could utilise both aspects towards a ‘better’ outcome.
I called this approach ‘Constructive Conversations’, because it ‘built’ a fully logical conversation out of relative irrational elements of instinct.
I Have, of course, written extensively about this subject, so I will just include one rhyme (of many)to try to summarise this approach.

Best wishes
Bill

‘CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS’.

‘Constructive conversations’ say.
So much more than others say.
A special method to converse.
That I will now portray in verse.

‘Constructive’ means it builds upon.
Foundations that are sound and strong.
Asking questions to produce.
Conversations of some use.

Comprehensive and extensive.
They’re emotionally intensive.
With an underlying notion.
To tame your sore and raw emotion.

When pressure makes you want to burst.
Emotions can be at their worst.
It’s then constructive talking can.
Help you think and help you plan.

All those things that make you frown.
And everything that drags you down.
All those things that bother you.
Can be resolved by talking through.

I don’t mean just with idle chat.
You won’t get far with talk like that.
To deal with things effectively.
You need to talk ‘constructively’.

Educe everything that’s negative.
Then counter with the positive.
Surprises have a job to hide.
When you examine every side.

Ask each question one by one.
Use your own answers as they come.
Let your imagination flow.
Then watch your conversation grow.

Write one thought down and then the next.
I find it helps to keep the text.
As I refer to what I’ve said.
More thoughts will spring into my head.

‘Constructive’ conversing clarifies.
All my questions and replies.
And as my conversations end.
Clarity begins my friend.

                                       B. Withers 2011
(in: A Thesis on Constructive Conversations Inversed.2012)  

bowsprit

Good idea to listen to those inner voices, Henry. Most of the time. These words say it better than I can: "There is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen." "Sometimes the heart speaks, and the brain does not understand the language." Best wishes.

Justbreathe

Loved this, Henry, and it brings to mind this thought and a favorite meme of mine:

"Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a stroll through my mouth, and this is rarely a good thing."

 
Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Past Member

I've always heard music.

I probably should have looked up the meaning of that before posting it. LOL

ron in mich

Hi all, I like when the voices in my head talk to me because it's usually to go get a snack, or let's wait another hour and have another cup of coffee before going out to shovel snow.

deborahsandberg4

I read your post and it started to hurt about a third of the way through because I understand, but I'm working on ignoring the voice and relying on my hands and feet. Terrifying. I counted for so long on that voice to negotiate everything for me, but mine is broken or has some sort of factory defect.

I'm more concerned with recently being very gassy (I have ileostomy) and the voices I'm hearing through my stoma.. really. They're polite and informative and definitely present. Yikes.

Thanks for your post.

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