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Ostomy Memories of My Friend the Murderer


DOES EVERYONE HAVE A POTENTIAL KILLER lurking inside of them?  I have a good friend – he lives a few houses from me – who has never been arrested in his life, yet I know him to be a murderer.  His wife, as fate would have it, is petrified of such things as insects and lizards.  Somehow a harmless Florida chameleon got into the house and she went berserk, screaming at my friend to “kill it, kill it!”  So my friend armed himself with what he had at hand, a rolled up magazine, and pummeled the poor little lizard to death.  “It was just a chameleon,” I told him.  “We have them all over.”  I related how, when one gets into our house, we simply grab a cloth, pick it up, and put him back outside where it can continue its never-ending quest for edible insects.  “Tell your wife that they're harmless,” I offered.  That wouldn't do, it seemed.  Several days later, yet another little chameleon had the misfortune to find its way into his house, again his wife went bonkers, yelling “kill it, kill it,” and again he committed an atrocity against the helpless insectivorous little fellow.  He may have entered your house, I imagined, via a piece of wood you carried in for your fireplace.  But I think that I would have seen it, he protested.  They have the ability to change color, I explained.  On a bit of old pine wood, it would have darkened to the color of the bark.  “Oh my,” he responded.  “I better not tell Carol that.”    And while you're at it, I added, don't tell her that when the chameleon pooches his throat sac out, all red-orange and throbbing, it means he's attracted to her.

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Amazing that anyone could be so petrified of a harmless reptile! It changes colours to hide itself from predators not an aggressive intent. Incidentally, some humans have the ability to change colours too, especially the ones you have mentioned often-politicians.


Hi Henry when we visited our daughter and SIL in Hawaii the chameleons were all over and in the evenings they would chirp, well when my daughter said they get in the house my wife freaked out and sure enough one started chirping in the house and my wife was ready to climb onto the counters to get away from them.


I love those little guys…they laugh at me each day while I exercise in the pool!


     That's so sad. 🥺


Hi Henry,  Common sense or reasoning do not come into play when it comes to what we humans fear.  I love little lizards and have often had them come into places where I was staying, visits with our in-laws in Hawaii, or vacations in warmer locales.  I wouldn't dream of disturbing them and the idea of killing them seems needless and cruel, BUT, when it comes to snakes, and I mean any kind of snake, littler harmless garter snakes included, I would totally freak out if one was in my house, or anywhere near me.  My husband has tried to use reason with me for years, telling me "They are harmless! They can't hurt you!"  Doesn't matter.  Rational thinking goes right out the window.  I wouldn't kill it myself, the idea of that freaks me out even more, but I wouldn't be too upset if someone else did it for me.  So, I might not be a murderer, but aiding and abetting, guilty!


Reply to delgrl525

     Haha, this made me chuckle. Aiding and abetting. 😂

Reply to delgrl525

I'm with you on snakes.  Perhaps it should be known as the Garden of Eden Syndrome. 


HenryM. Wrote:


Thank you for this interesting question Henry.

This is a question I have been asked many times during my work with dysfunctional people. 

In order to try to give a rational answer, I devised a predictive ‘model/theory' to illustrate how people were likely to respond when things did not quite go ‘their way'.

Without going into great detail, this model stood me in good stead for most of my career and helped me to avoid many potentially dangerous situations with potentially dangerous people. 

I used to use a very practical method to ascertain a person's potential in this area, which was to ask them what sort of thing they would be willing to kill (or have killed) – starting with things like flies, wasps, spiders etc. This line of questioning was not to find out ‘what' it was they might kill, but to ascertain whether or not they were likely to act on ‘instinct' rather than ‘logic'. 

The theory goes; that many humans are instinctively ‘predators' so, given the right circumstances they will kill as a ‘natural/ primitive' instinct.

The humans who were less likely to kill were those who did not respond in the ‘fight' mode and did not respond ‘instinctively' but thought about their actions before they acted. 

It has to be acknowledged that humans have proved themselves to be the most accomplished and prolific killers on the planet, so the simple answer to this question must be ‘probably'. 

There is a suitable cliché which helps to plan and put this in perspective: 

“Hope for the best but plan for the worst”.

Best wishes



Hello HenryM.

I have written so many rhymes on so many subjects that it is sometimes difficult to find the ones I want for a particular conversation .

However, SallyNBC's post today happened to lead me to a page next to the rhyme I chose to share with her, which seemed appropriate for your post. Thus, I couldn't resist sharing this with you.

Best wishes



What sort of man is still willing,

to roam about the land killing

innocent animals for fun 

then feel righteous for what they've done?

What sort of man would think it's good,

to light a fire in the wood,

and build a makeshift shelter to

attract a mate with that same view?

What sort of man so primitive, 

would think that life is conducive

to anyone from modern life 

who is not used to nature's strife?

A downside to this sort of bloke

is that he's likely to be broke,

because the lifestyle of subsistence 

is just enough for sustenance.

Another drawback to these men 

is this primitive acumen

will often come with other things

that primal instinct often brings. 

Things like the bullying techniques

which was perceived to be unique

to a primitive caveman style

but is now not so much worthwhile. 

Primitive man might lack finesse

and put their partners under stress,

because in order to impress

their main tactic is to aggress. 

Thus, I would like to now proffer

that what these primitive men offer

might be a life that's not worth living

for the little that they're giving.

The sort of man that I would like 

would not be the type of tyke,

who thought that killing was alright

when and if they're in a fight.

For we know that with any friend 

a fight might break out in the end,

and if you cannot trust your mate 

then leaving him might be too late.

So, I would like the sort of man 

who shows me when and where he can,

that the important things for him

do not come on a selfish whim.

I like those men who do not kill

but nonetheless will have the skill

to provide the necessities 

without primitive crudities.

I'd like a vegetarian 

who is humanitarian,

and also, egalitarian 

and not authoritarian. 

I'd like someone who is mature,

not a caveman caricature. 

Someone who loves me as I am,

not someone who won't give a damn. 

I'd like someone who grows the food,

not someone who is so crude 

they still think killing is okay

because it was, back in the day. 

I'd like someone who has moved on 

who won't think killing's sin qua non. (essential) 

Someone who can relate to me 

with equality and harmony.

                              B. Withers  2020

     (PP 384-385 in: 'Bullying 4' 2020)

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