ON A RECENT TRIP THROUGH TOWN, I think that I caught every red light there was to catch. That has always been my cross to bear. It's as if the traffic signal sees me coming. If I was a QAnon bozo, I'd likely think that the government managed to embed a chip inside me that signals the light as I approach it to turn red, here he comes! Maybe it permeated my epidermis when I entered the federal building. It definitely wasn't in the vaccine I took since the pandemic began, because my red light karma began way before the coronavirus. Or I might suspect that OPEC had placed agents in our city traffic control agencies to design a system that caused maximum starts and stops in order to expend lots of gas. But, over the years, as I aged and some level of paranoia took over my thinking, I started suspecting that the damn traffic signals saw me coming. I try to affect nonchalance when it happens so as not to give it the satisfaction of seeing me seethe. Somehow, over the years, because I am a law-abiding citizen, I have not been ticketed for running any red lights. It's a good thing they can't cite me for my fantasies, the ones where I'm tearing down the highway, blowing through red lights, thumbing my nose at the inanimate traffic control devices that are trying to run my life. How do you thumb your nose, anyway?
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