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Surrounded by people who don’t get it


Just need to vent a little: Going to hear some music down by a river town, which I love. Earlier, at home getting ready, I was just kind of thinking out loud, something along the lines of, “I hope our friends are staking a spot near the bathrooms.” My husband said, “Well, I don’t know, ask them to move. What’s the big deal?” It really is so NOT a big deal, just one of those times when I realize my needs are different from the average person who brings food and drink, walks afterwards, all without a thought. I sometimes wish there was ONE other person in my social circle who simply said, “Me, too.”  Ok, thanks for listening everyone. I feel better. 😘

Talk to others with an Ostomy
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Just remember, they’re the odd balls, you’re the cool one. 


Over the years, one gets accustomed to it.  My spouse knows, of course, and that helps maintain a certain level of sanity when I begin to worry about such things.  You get resigned, philosophical, and you move beyond the sort of frustration that you rightfully express.  Reality dictates, and so you flex with it.  The times that bother me the most are when I am forced to utilize a Porta-Potty, always disgusting, because I know I won't make it home otherwise.  Anyway, don't worry; we all suffer these same episodes and come out the other side okay.


I love using a porta  potty. Lean over and let it go, bout the fastest way to empty. Carry a travel size thing of wet wipes and you don’t even have to touch that disgusting toilet paper either. The bathroom on train engines are just about the same. I also always just kneel to empty, never sit down. 

Reply to AlexT

I just used one!

Reply to AlexT

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that!

Reply to HenryM

Y’know, it usually is not a big deal at all. Just today for some reason. The music will start and I’ll be over it. Thanks for the words of wisdom.


I'm new to the ostomy circle, but I'm required to measure my liquid output for the moment. I do feel its easier to just empty into the w.c. rather than a measuring jug! I was out to lunch the other day and quickly realised even moreso than I had thought about how important the proximity to toilets is for us ostomates. And the  cleanliness issue of such areas is even more important. God, we take so much for granted in our  lives til change is forced on us and we have to re-think our daily self care routines! I feel your pain hun!

Mabsie Moll 🙋🏼‍♀️ 

Reply to eefyjig

Hi Eefy ....I hope evertthing came out all right  !! 🤭😜...Magoo ☘


On any kind of public transport I am very happy to ust the bathroom .

I don't have to sit down !!

I don't have to touch Anything !! 

I just Dump and Run ...Two minutes so I don't have to Breathe the Air for very long !! 

Always keep some sheets of Paper Towel, just 3 or 4 sheets  -as well as Toilet Paper . 

I always have a backpack and keep a roll of 2 inch Micropore Paper Tape . A strip of that at the right time can give you 15 minutes lead time , roughly . 

Any Fast Food resraurant or Pub has a decent bathroom except for the Old Timey Pubs  ( a Technical Term) where the old dudes have a bad aim !!  

  I recently lost a Ten year old Extended family member and had an " Interesting " day !!  I will write so.ethin about that in Forum .

  In huge crowds I just drink very little but just enough   and eat a Banana during the day . I might drink a coke very slowly for the Caffeine but let some of the gas escape . Usually I get away with only some gas in the bag . You can open the end ( if it's just gas !) of the Bag in a tight crowd and let the gas out if you absolutely have to . I went to 4th of July fireworks show in Manhattan once with my camera ( will post some ) where there were at least 2 Million people on the Hudson River side . I was terrified of a disaster !! But I had a change of clothes ...don't forget underwear and socks !!! ...Shit flows Downhill !!! 🤯😭 😜.  I never needed the porta potty all day !!  It was a total success and I was alone so nobody to watch my "Stuff " if I had to run for the Potty !!  New York City people are The Best !!! 😘. Not even a candy wrapper left behind !! A few years ago .

 Sorry , rambling again 🤯☘...Magoo ☘


Hence why I have no friends. 😞 Although I’m fine with it-I actually have huge social anxiety anyways so I’m comfortable doing my own thing but I hear you -most don’t “get it”


hell girl I'm in ur club...I focus everything we do with bathroom locations....was never happier to see a portapotty at our remote fishing location....

Some don't think like we think and because we look and act "normal" they forget about our extra baggage.....

Do you boo always


Reply to Mayoman

Fine as wine!


Thanks, all. I have to say, my husband is actually one of the most supportive people in my life. He understands when I have to burp my bag, when I need to empty before we go and empty before we leave. He has even volunteered to go into a bathroom after I do when I forget my odor drops so people will think he was the one who "dealt it". THAT is true love......I'm so used to this life of mine and have accepted my differences. It just hit me a little differently today, the unique challenges we face that no one else could really understand, except for people who have those same challenges. Thank you, stoma soulmates.

Reply to eefyjig

😜...Good !!  There are many advantages to our Plastic Appendage ...for the Male of the Species we happily Never have to sit  !!  Aren't you jealous 😜😋😁 Magoo ☘

Reply to eefyjig

Happy wife, happy life so they say. 😁 

Reply to Anonymous

You having a stoma caused all your pre-stoma friends to disassociate themselves from you once you got your stoma? 

Reply to Homie With A Stomie NS

The best part about me getting my ostomy is NOT having to have the gps coordinates of every bathroom wherever I’m at. 👍 Well that and I haven’t stained any underwear in about 18 months. 😬😁 


Hi all i agree with Alex now that i got an ostomy i dont have to worry about finding a restroom, i dump before i leave the house and i plan my eating before depends on how long i will be gone whether its shopping or music in the park or ATV riding.

Reply to Mabsie Moll

Mabsie, we DO take things for granted. Like pooping once a day in the normal manner!

Reply to AlexT


Reply to ron in mich

I am usually in that boat, too,  but my output has changed with my gallstones and I’m unusually liquidy and heavy. Hopefully it’s just situational and I go back to normal after my surgery.

Reply to Mayoman

Haha! I have been known to "hover" over the toilet in unsavory places - it's a good workout!


Hi Eefyjig  and all  my other ostomy pals...   I have my ileostmy overy 60 years....since I was 15.....   All I wanted wa s to get out of the hospital ( with my stoma) and get back to school, and  teenage life ( after 4  y ears of being sick)..   I did anything I wanted to do....    swam in the ocean,   used disgusting bathrooms with no doors ( at beaches and public parks)....When I went to china,  my girlfriend got sick....and the bus had to stop for her to find a bathroom   (  she soiled her pants)  ,   I filled my po uch....    I swam in the Dead sea, in  Israel, and my whole pouch popped off, due to the high salinity of t he water..  That was a mess......but the showers were private, adn I always have tape...    I flew all around the country, Mexico and carribean, in  a single engine bathroom, and only once did we have to land on  a dirt  air strip in a cornfield, for me to find a bathroom...    On road trips......just pulled off the road, and dug a hole   in the d left it to t he wildlife to figure o ut..   At  74.....   I'm not as anxious to be that adventurous....more so because it's not so easy to bend......   but I didn't let t hings  hold me back.  either...    I guess the most disgusting , is when my girlfriend forgot about me.....locked in a closet, with a bucket on a sightseeing water taxie/   in China..   She started talking to someone else.....     Definitely not  fun!    But I survived it  and regret nothing...    Best of luck to all of you...   and most of all Enjoy life.....   Marsha...

Reply to Immarsh

Marsha, what a great attitude and what life experiences. You made my day! 🥰

Reply to eefyjig

It’s hard to gauge what you’ll need when you go out. I went to a park concert couple weeks ago with 2 friends. All was fine till we left and my pouch filled up like a helium balloon. I tried walking 10 feet ahead of them and quickly ‘burped.’ My friend walks up and says “Man it stinks here.” 

Reply to Mabsie Moll

Yep when people don't have health issues they takes life for granted, cancer change my life in the way of what I eat,drink live life not to complain but to give God thanks for every little things that I  accomplish, it's a privilege. 


Reading this post pretty late ,but I know ecactly how you feel add diabetes to the mix and it makes it hard to plan things with anyone.Like you can show up late to a movie and you need to eat...There goes part of the movie I just missed out on...BUT hey were all still here to vent to when we need too,because what Ive found is all us front butts get 

Reply to eefyjig

I love that "stoma soulmates". 🥰🥰🥰


I cried the other week when a new pair of yet another size down pair of jeans came in the mail and they were still a little big. My husband and I got in a big argument about it b/c he couldn’t understand why I was upset. If I was trying to lose weight that would be one thing, but I’m not. My Dr was talking to me before my endoscopy the other day asking if I’d lost more weight (still not sure why they didn’t just put me on the scale) and I don’t have a scale at home b/c I don’t want my tween daughter to become obsessed with weight (idk if a scale would really be a big issue or not but I never make weight a focus with her in conversations) so I told him I dropped another Jean size… so back to food aversion therapy I go 😒. I was able to shrink the new jeans so they fit ok now, but I was talking to a girl at the store I was returning another pair of jeans to and she thought with my height (5’2”) and current issues I should stick to jeggings for now. I never would’ve thought I’d be in tears over jeans being too big. I think for me at least it comes to loss of control over what’s happening to my own body if that makes sense. On another note my mil texted me that the bathrooms reopen at the local park soon b/c I told her i wasn’t comfortable since my reversal going there dog walking with her until the restrooms reopened. 

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