THE GUY AROUND THE CORNER LIKES TO TALK. Unfortunately, his idea of conversation (sic) is a running monologue. He does not limit himself to a single subject, either. He rambles, seemingly out of control, jumping from one topic to another without apparent reason or relationship. The word salad pours out, not in dribs and drabs, but in gushes, like vomit. His wife once told my wife that the reason she fell in love with him, years ago, was because he was the smartest person she’d ever met. He seems to agree with her assessment. Cartoonist Bill Watterson aptly described this type of fellow: “Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.” To add to the difficulty of dealing with this guy, as he has gotten older, his voice has deteriorated into a kind of hoarse gargle, as if he’s having dental issues or some sort of malady that produces excessive saliva. So, as you might expect, I avoid him. If the occasion arises that I see him outside when I’m walking past his house, I increase my pace and don’t slow down again until I am at least two doors down from him. For those few times when I am trapped into having to endure him for a few minutes, I can’t decide whether my inability to understand what he is talking about is a good thing or not. Fortunately, he never seems to require any response. So I just nod and nod, a bobblehead looking for a way out.
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Learn about what to expect during pregnancy.