I TURNED A CORNER ON MY MORNING WALK and there was Johnny Carson, as if he’d been waiting for me. “I thought you were dead,” I told him, a little embarrassed. “No, I had to skip town to avoid my ex-wives who are all after back alimony.” “Geez, Johnny, you’re a wealthy guy. How’d you get behind on your alimony?” Carson’s face took on a disgusted look before he told me that Groucho had the best analogy for having to pay alimony. “It’s like buying hay for a dead horse,” he said. “I guess I can see that,” I said. “How many wives have you had?” Carson asked me. I felt embarrassed again. “I’m still married to my first wife,” I replied. “What’s the point of that?” asked Carson, perplexed. “Well, for one thing,” I told him, feeling a bit superior now, “I’m not having to feed a dead horse.” “Good point,” he said. “And I’m not having to pay lawyers,” I added. “I hear divorce lawyers are the worse sharks in the sea.” “I’ll vouch for that,” said Carson, adding: “My lawyer was swimming in my pool recently and I could see his dorsal fin sticking out of the water.” “How did you end up down here in Florida?” I asked him. “Well, I got a ride out of Nebraska with a guy who said he was coming down here for some tomatoes. I thought he meant women.” We reached the corner where I turn toward home. “I’m going this way,” I said. “Good luck with the ex-wives.” “My lawyer’s trying to convince them that I’m dead,” said Carson as he started across the street. Then he looked over his shoulder at me and said: “If Ed McMahon says ‘Here’s Johnny” one more time, I’ll kill him.”
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Me too. At one time, I had a collection of his highlights, but I don't know what happened to it. You can watch some of them on YouTube, tho.
Those seeking popularity at the polls would do well to study what made Johnny Carson so well-liked by the people. In my humble and outsider opinion, he had his finger on the pulse of the nation and steered away from controversial subjects. He wasn't ever flustered and offered his audience the kind of pleasant discussions that they liked to hear. Not even his staunchest supporters would claim that he was a great intellectual. One of the most favored claimants of this position among previous presidential aspirants would be Adlai Stevenson. His speeches are something to marvel at, but unfortunately, he lost every time.
Occasionally I will tune in to his shows on Roku - always a good laugh and never any vulgarity-
Amazing how they pulled that off; nothing like that today, although Jay Leno is still pretty good at it!