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This is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding.

It was hard to accept that I had a stoma it was either that or death. I just recently got one less than a month ago….. I talk to it a-lot like saying u not going to blow up my bag today …. Not today u better keep that bag on and it better not fall off….. sometimes u have to make the best out the situation to keep from becoming depressed. I’ll probably never date again and I’m ok with that 

 

Eventually you’ll almost forget you have a bag and not panic every time there’s a noise coming from it(which is quite comical at times 😁😬). If you’re having issues with the bag staying on or leaks, you may need to change some things on your setup. It gets easier as time goes on and your stress level will go down. Only you will keep yourself from dating, your stoma, to others that care, won’t be that big of a deal. Ask questions and vent anything you want on here, we get it. Have a good day and smile. 

MeetAnOstoMate - 28,292 members
Ice
 

I’m in the same boat as you. Just got my bag a month ago. I’m also recently single so also worry about dating but was lucky enough to find someone who accepts my condition.  You will to…you are a beautiful young woman so don’t give up.

 

Early days in time you will learn to accept & love your stoma.

And yes you will date and meet the man/woman of your dreams in the future if thats what you want. Probably have to kiss a few toads in the process lol but sure you have at times pre stoma too like all of us have. 

Once you accept it dating won't be a problem, 99.9% of the problems come from the person with the ostomy pushing people away some do it on purpose other's don't even realize what there doing and aren't ready to even admit to themselves yet that they haven't accepted it you will see with experience members in groups trying to  cover up there true feelings you can see straight through them hopefully in time they accept it and can get on and live a happy life 

Axl
 

Hi Kay

Time will change all that and you might just surprise yourself ...

 


Ice wrote:

I’m in the same boat as you. Just got my bag a month ago. I’m also recently single so also worry about dating but was lucky enough to find someone who accepts my condition.  You will to…you ...

😊 thank u

 

Hi Kay welcome to the site, they say we go through differant mind sets from having major surgery like anger, sadness, depression, but eventually acceptance and then life goes on, i was in my mid thirties when i got my ostomy but it saved my life, i,m in my 70s now and still dont let it hold me back, as for the bag falling of get an ostmy belt.  

 

Kayckay:
I am always amazed at how smart this little brain trust of humans can be about diversionary surgery.  As a woman of a certain age, I concur that you will adjust and you will be able to date, and adjust your sex/sensual life in surprising ways.  As for my experience, having an Ostomy actually acts as a gatekeeper for intimacy; and with the bar a little bit higher because of the natural initial off putting tendency it creates, I find that it is a useful screening device for keeping folks without certain emotional depth or clarity of shared pleasure, out of my pants and out of my inner life (literally and figuratively).

I wish for you smooth sailing as you come to terms with your new status.  Keep the faith. It will help some.   Best, Ninja

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