BLAME

In this discussion
Replies
4
Views
18677
Bill




BLAME.



Now I will talk about ‘BLAME’.

As a concept that’s hard to desist.

Though it does seem a popular game.

It’s rarely, if ever - honest.



People tend to look for blame.

At almost every turn.

As if the ‘blame’ becomes their aim.

And what they really yearn.



There must be something deep inside

My finger can’t quite touch.

Something maybe they wish to hide.

That makes them blame so much.



Blame shows dysfunctionality.

A negative display.

A certain personality.

It also can convey.



So that we might understand

How blame is quite unwise.

We must unmask the underhand.

And blame contextualise.



What is the use in blaming things.

And what’s it’s function for.

Where’s the source from which it springs.

These things we should explore.



When blame is what is focussed on.

Whatever it highlights.

It makes it seem like ‘that’ is wrong.

And never like it’s right.



If I can say what is to blame

And make my viewpoint stick

Then I can claim to win this game.

And move on slick and quick.



I claim the game is over now.

I’ve shown you what is wrong.

I don’t want you to tell me how.

You can this game prolong.



I don’t want you to now explain.

How it has been unfair.

I simply wish to play again.

My game of blame elsewhere.



What is your point to carry on

And spoil my chance to win.

Don’t tell me I might be wrong.

Or games are wearing thin.



Don’t tell me that well there might

Be other factors too.

That might arise and shed some light.

To swing the blame from you.



In the hierarchy of blame.

It’s not for those on top.

This has always been the same.

And I don’t want it to stop.



I want you to show respect.

And to ‘my’ view defer.

When you try to disaffect

You’ll be a saboteur.



You should know your lowly place.

And get back into line.

You are to blame and you must face.

The music every time.



No need to look beyond the line.

That ‘I’ draw in the sand.

Questioning might undermine.

My constant upper-hand.



There is no way that I’ll agree.

I might be in the frame.

It never was, nor can it be.

I’ll never take the blame.



Blame’s a neat and simple way

To halt analysis.

To keep all other views at bay.

And keep things as they is.

B. Withers 2007

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,086 members. Get inside and you will see.

We're not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed in the forums.

It's a very special community, embracing all ages and backgrounds. People are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Lalu

What a wonderful and unfortunately too true poem, Bill. Also unfortunate is that it fits into every area of life. When I was a computer programmer, I saw the remarkable difference between working under a manager whose main focus was "Whose fault is this?" vs another manager who had the attitude of "This went wrong. How do we fix it?". As a waitress, when something had to be taken off a customer's check, we needed an OK by the manager. When I went to him needing to have the charge for soup removed, he asked me, as he should, why the customer didn't get the soup he had ordered. My response was simply "I forgot to get it for him." There was generally a very low tolerance for human error in that place and I was amazed when he took the check from me and made some kind of comment like "Sounds like a reason to me." It was his way of giving me credit for owning up to my error, not putting the blame anyplace other than on myself, where it belonged. For him to hear an employee basically say "I screwed up" and leaving it at that, was something he wasn't used to and obviously appreciated. We somehow grow up feeling the need to deflect blame onto someone or something else, as long as the blame goes outside ourselves. I've met few people willing to step up and say "It's my fault." Because I have such an abundance of self-esteem, I've on occasion assumed an error was mine, even though I may later discover I had nothing to do with it, and have found that the better I am at a particular job or responsibility, the more willing I am to accept the fault as mine. Doing office work (I've had many jobs in a variety of areas), I once did exactly that - accepted blame when it turned out to have nothing to do with me. While one executive kept giving me a hard time (looking back, the error may have come from his office), while the other executive in the room put an end to it by stating that I said it was my fault and that I'd fix it. What more did the man want? Some people have a much more difficult time than others when it comes to fessing up to mistakes. After my family went swimming at one sister's house, we took turns taking showers in her two bathrooms. When it was my turn, I walked into a bathroom with so much water on the floor, I could have just gone swimming there instead of the pool. Although I knew who had been there last, I walked out and was very careful to not speak as if someone had screwed up. I just asked who had taken the last shower in that bathroom, there was some water on the floor and I'd help whoever it was clean up in there. Immediately, although I hadn't even looked in her direction, the guilty party started yelling that she didn't do it. I ended up taking care of it myself, as I knew how that part of my family functioned. Since my sister didn't own up to making mistakes (mistakes = bad and perfection = good), her daughters had learned that lesson well. Once I learned how much easier it is to acknowledge an error, fix it and get on with it, it's made life go a little smoother when that kind of thing comes up. Love that last verse. I know. As usual, I've run off at the mouth (fingers).

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate
funnygurl

Well said!

Primeboy

Individual responsibility is no longer a social virtue in today's jaded world view. Our situation is no longer our own fault but the result of powerful others. Attribution Theory 101.

Bill
Hello fellow ostomates,Thank you so much for your posts. It's so satisfying to get feedback. In fact this poem is 'in-verse' feedback to a group of 'constructive conversationalists' who tend to be the target for blame laying due to the peculiarities of their mental conditions. It is they who deserve the credit for this as they are very knowledgeable and insightful on this subject and I have simply taken their conversation and concepts and placed them in rhyming verse. I will (tomorrow) relay your general appreciation for them sharing their thoughts on the subject in this way.Best wishesBill
 
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
All times are GMT - 5 Hours