Combatting Body Shaming: Let's Embrace Natural Beauty

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theluckyfrog

So I was bored as hell and randomly reading about shows I don't watch when I came upon a review for the HBO show Girls... and the comments section was one of the most horrifying things I've seen in my life (short of, like, those pictures of starving kids that people post all over Facebook). Apparently Lena Dunham takes her clothes off a lot in that show—of course she does, it's HBO—and the fact that she's somewhat overweight (I guess) is enough to make people suggest that just seeing her naked is a major violation of their rights. According to people online she is a "gross fat bitch", her male costars are all "way out of her league" and her tattoos are enough to make one's eyes bleed. Seeing people say such awful things about a completely normal looking woman makes me want to cry and/or intentionally seek out mean people just so I can chuck things at their heads, because can you imagine what they'd say about me if they knew that I had the audacity to think that another person might occasionally want to see me naked, or at least not really mind it? (Note: Okay, I am aware Dunham is more than occasionally naked on her show, but so is every female on HBO and people rarely complain about that and phrase it very differently when they do.) Oh, and Lena has pretty small boobs, which she must have done deliberately just to be offensive to men [sarcasm]; well, mine are even smaller thanks to me all but starving for most of my adolescence. I guess I'm completely fucked, or rather not because "nobody wants to see that", right? Please note, this is not self-pity; this is anger. I've actually never been rejected based on my physiology because something in my personality isn't really conducive to relationships in the first place—the closest I've come to having one was with a guy who would try to kiss me in between reminding me how much better I'd look with makeup. He was before the ostomy, but if it had scared him away I'd actually have been glad because what a creep. No, my issue here is that people existing in their natural state, with whatever is natural for them, can somehow be considered an affront to people who have to look at them. Regardless of what it is that makes them not quite good enough. You know, we were morally outraged as a culture because they were photoshopping models, but nobody quite suggested we should have average looking people in ads—the implication was really that we should have women who are so beautiful that they don't need to be photoshopped. I'm gonna stop here before I start having to form paragraphs. I just needed to rant about this, and complaining to the people I know in real life would have meant dropping my "I don't care that I've got an ostomy" façade. If I did that, they'd get all awkward around me again.

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Bill
Hello theluckyfrog. Thank you for the post. I will not pretend that any of what you said has ever been the sort of thing that has toughed upon my own emotions. However, I do enjoy sharing in a good rant - no matter what the subject. So I thought I would let you know that your sharing has been appreciated. Best wishes Bill
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heshootshescores

Hello Lucky frog, I'm not a big fan of body image issues. There is way too much pressure on people to be good looking. Every time you turn on the TV, it's filled with good looking people. At the same time though, I understand that sex sells and pretty much everybody tunes in to see someone hot in their favorite TV show. I don't know what else to say. I've thought I look like a freak with my ileostomy bag. I just do things where I am not deliberately hiding or disguising my bag so that over time, I have slowly stopped worrying about what I might look like to someone else. I have also been told that most people wouldn't even notice it anyway. So yeah, that's stuff I've experienced. Bye.

Past Member

Totally get where you're coming from, luckyfrog. Personally, I don't find anyone good-looking if they don't have any light of intelligence shining in their eyes. And from what I can see from the media, most celebrities tend to have a vacant sign on their face on close inspection. I have had, in the past, a couple of exes say to me, "I could be with someone better looking, but I choose to be with you" as if that is a compliment?! So I just replied, "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya." Life is way too short to waste on arseholes. I much prefer to spend my life alone and happy than be coupled just for the sake of it. Stay natural and stay you, luckyfrog. Sounds like you're my kind of people!

WOUNDED DOE

Great post!! .....and HI sweet Jo :):) You said it straight, sis. Any man who talks to you like that or treats you that way deserves a swift kick to the curb.....you deserve FAR better than that!!! ;) xoxoxoo

 
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sunasea

Hi, Natalie.

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