I question who would claim the fame
for making such a human frame.
Where all the crap of human waste
exits from holes that are misplaced.

Whilst contemplating this I find
an irony will cross my mind.
That this design must be a joke
in order to embarrass folk.

Who would design an anus where
to shit, you really need a chair?
For it can be a real nightmare
without control of crap down there.

Sometimes I find I cachinnate (laugh loudly)
when thinking how we urinate
through an exit coupled to
the same tubes we, our sex pursue.

Thus, to gain our sexual pleasure
comes disgust in equal measure.
But who would make us pay this price
to choose between things not so nice?

Why not design outlets for waste
in front and round about our waist?
So it is more conducive to
managing our pee and poo.

Why not have a system where
we catch the waste in bags from there?
Disposing of it to suit us
without the usual toilet fuss.

Having stomas might work best,
as these have been put to the test
and found to do the job quite well
whilst working with what we expel.

B. Withers 2018


Nice one, Bill!

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Thanks Pirrip. I just love the way that rhyming verse can be used to express things with a smidgen of humour, irony or sarcasm that would probably not be acceptable in normal conversation.
Best wishes Bill

Bill... you're a very good writer. You have and continue to be my teacher. You inspire me!!! My favorite rhyme that you wrote is "I am nobody." That one touched my soul, perhaps it was me that you wrote it for. Though you didn't know it. Thanks!


Hello Angelicamarie.
Thank you for your supportive comments and for your appreciation of the rhymes. From my perspective, learning is not at all one way as we learn from each other. Fancy you remembering 'I am a nobody'. I could not remember ever blogging it on here, but then it dawned on me that I posted it on my profile.
Interestingly,I have just included it in my latest book on humour in sickness called 'laugh or lament'. I began with the motivation of writing a script for stand-up comedy. However, as I progressed with the writing, I realised that I was already something of a stand-up comic with the people I meet everyday. I then had to question why I was thinking I might perform in front of an audience. This led me to conclude that performers are people who want to be 'somebody' - so I have dropped that idea in favour of remaining a 'nobody'. Fortunately, I have finished the book, as this sort of full stop is just the sort of demotivation to give us writer's block.
Best wishes
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