Ostomy Memories of Wardrobe

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HenryM

ONE OF THE UNSUNG GREAT THINGS about retirement is the simplification of one’s wardrobe.  Not having to report to work every day means you are no longer bound by job requirements or social dress codes.  You don’t even have to get out of bed, let alone put on clothing.  There are disadvantages to that sort of layaboutism, of course.  “Clothes make the man,” Mark Twain told us.  “Naked people have little or no influence in society.”  I wouldn’t even want to try to calculate how much I spent over the years for suits and ties and shoes that I took off as soon as I got home.  Now I favor sweat pants and kaftans.  Shorts and tee shirts.  Flip flops and mocs.  It’s what you might call post-professional casual.  I’ve got no norms to abide by and no one to impress with my impeccable sartorial taste.  My spouse stopped being impressed a few months after our honeymoon.  My children were more concerned with their own peer pressures.  But even with all this now long since past, I still have maintained a few holdover items “just in case.”  I’ve noticed that my once acceptable ties are now at least twice the width of what’s being worn these days.  I’m afraid to try to get into the suit pants.  So I’m hoping that nobody close to me dies any time soon.  I suspect even a conservative black kaftan might raise eyebrows at the funeral.  

Caz67

You never know, Henry. They might request a simple burial/cremation and ask people to wear their birthday suits xx.

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Bill

Hello HenryM.

What a great post! It got me thinking about my own choices of wardrobe, both when I was working and when I moved into semi-retirement.

My working attire was always a smart suit and tie. These were obtained via the local charity shops for next to nothing as people were giving them away due to a range of reasons, like outgrowing them or carelessly burning cigarette holes in the front of them. Some of these suits would have cost many hundreds of pounds when new and would have been way out of my financial means. However, at that time, the charity shops had a glut of suits that they couldn’t get rid of so none of them cost me more than £5. The interesting thing was that these shops were not allowed to sell suits without them being cleaned first. This meant that my suits cost me less to buy than it would have cost me to have them cleaned.  What I used to do was take them back to the shop when they needed cleaning and re-purchase the best of them when they came up for sale again.

However, when I had my stoma, all that changed and I began wearing a different type of ‘suit’. This was the changeover to a ‘boilersuit’.  When people asked me about the change or commented about it, my reposte would be that I always viewed my ‘work-suits’ as ‘overalls’ and so the boiler suits were no different to the dress-suits in that regard. If they continued the conversation, I would be quite happy and confident to share with them that I had now acquired a stoma and that a boilersuit (with its openable front) was much more efficient at managing the stoma than a two-piece suit with trousers and jacket.

For me, one of the greatest advantages of having a stoma is that I now do not have to dress-up for anything, and the boilersuits make it look as if I am doing ‘proper’ work for a living, whereas a dress suit simply made me look as if I was yet another middle-class parasite who did nothing useful other than collect their wages.

One of the advantages of being old is that there is really no expectation from anyone that we should adhere to any conventional dress sense or fashion.

Even my wife has become used to my new outfits and no longer scolds me for not looking as ‘smart’ as she would like.

Best wishes

 Bill   

AlexT

I've been told my fashion needs help. &zwj

HenryM
Reply to Bill

Winston Churchill liked to wear boilersuits.  

 
Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Happytostillbehere

As long as I have my nine pairs of dungarees hanging in the closet, I'm good to go!

jeanneskindle
Reply to Happytostillbehere

As long as I have my leggings and blouses, I'm good to go. I had to really smile at all these comments about new wardrobes after stomas and retirement. I came out of retirement to help my tax accountant, but I insisted I had to wear leggings, blouse, and sweater. She doesn't complain because I am darn good at my job! Funny stuff, guys!

jeanneskindle

Oh my gosh! There is no apostrophe in wardrobes.

Bill

Hello jeanneskindle.

Thank you so much for your post and the motivation to respond at this time in the morning.

Best wishes

Bill

APPOSTROPHES.

In this life, where would we be
without our friend ‘apostrophe’?
You’ll find one here, another there,
apostrophes just do not care.

Sometimes appearing out of place,
apostrophes may take up space
that otherwise just would not be
if not for an apostrophe.

These commas hanging in the air,
may sometimes make pedantics care
if they are deemed to be misplaced 
and somehow make writing defaced.

There’re many could not give a jot
and see it like a tadpole blot,
so are not prone to be prescript
about another’s manuscript.

As long as they can understand
what’s typed or written down by hand,
does it really matter what
appears to be a short-tailed spot?

For those who like to see this sign
here’s some apostrophes of mine
for you to browse and then eschew
and view them in the way you do.

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

                                B. Withers 2023

eefyjig
Reply to jeanneskindle

I love that you re-read your posts and spot grammatical errors, too!

eefyjig
Reply to AlexT

You and my husband could have a chat about this!

eefyjig

As a senior fitness instructor, I'm lucky that my work clothes are incredibly comfortable and easy on my stomach.

AlexT
Reply to eefyjig

I showed a picture of what I was wearing to someone the other day. She said she could help me.

jeanneskindle
Reply to Bill

I loved your poem! Ain't life grand? Thank you

Jeanne

Bill
Reply to jeanneskindle

Hello Jeanne.

Thanks for your appreciative comment about the rhyme. these little bits of feedback (especially when positive) are what makes a writer's efforts seem worthwhile.
P.S. I also appreciate the simple ticks on the 'like' icon!

Best wishes

Bill

debbinmiller
Reply to HenryM

What's a boilersuit?

bltj1606

Henry, I thought it was just me, the suit and having to attend a funeral. And like you, of course, I also thinned the herd of work related clothing and traded it up for what now is more conducive for me and my "Little Buddy" (ileostomy). Sweat pants is now my everyday attire. So back to the 1st of the 2 funerals I've attended.  Funeral #1 I did get my suit on and it sucked. Way to small and totally uncomfortable when I was driving or sitting, but I made it through that day and hoped that the next time I would be wearing it would be the day the mortician was putting it on me at my own service. Not the case. One of my friends beat me to the punch. I had to overcome adversity and come up with a solution. Some times we look to deep into a problem that we can't see the forest between the trees. Such a simple solution that I'm embarrassed to even say that Helen Keller could have solved the problem. "Hey dummy, it's a black suit, buy a pair of black pants that fit you and problem solved." OK, smart a--. So black pants I got. Now, problem #2 arises. They're not tailored, need breathing room, eating room, belts hit my stoma and I need to make adjustments on a daily basis, if not hour to hour. I went to Wal-Mart ( I live in the USA) and in their sundry aisle I found a package of "Velcro" that is just one piece and double sided so it can stick to itself when folded over. So I ran it from my belt loop on the right side, which is my stoma side, across my button line to the belt line on my left side and then adjusted it to the right and left until I found out when it was long enough to have extra to allow for expanding or contracting and cut it to length and folded it over to stick to itself with room(extra lenth) to make adjustments. It works perfectly. I had to make a few of them to fit them to all of my pants because belt loops are in different places. So if you're fighting the entire baggy or tight pants syndrome, there's the fix for you. Tip, don't put it all around your waste if your stoma is at your belt line like mine is. Funeral #2 was just fine, well for me it was, not my deceased friend JW, God rest his soul. Well, best of luck to my fellow "Stomonians" and God speed. Oh, for anyone that is new to this thing and feeling down, disgusted or anything other than just being happy, I believe we have all been there. I'm way past that now (3.5 years) because first of all without having it, what's the alternative? Secondly, you are the same person you were before this thing, stay that way. Well, that's if you're not mean, nasty and a pain in the a--! And thirdly, tell everyone you know so it's common knowledge. Hell, if you want to get out of a place or a conversation or whatever it is, all I do is say, "Hey Jimmy, I have a wardrobe malfunction, I have to go." And gone as quick as could be. Who's going to question you? Who's going to call you out and say that you're lying? So, that's just some of my little tide bits of info that hey, maybe it can help you, if not, cool.

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