This sounds very discouraging for you - three years is a lot of time. My husband had multiple complications after his surgery including ileus, septic shock, and multiple abscesses. His last fistula finally closed 2 1/2 years after the initial surgery. We felt powerless against the "forces" and to a large extent, we were.
The most important tool for us was knowing what potential problems could occur, how to recognize early symptoms, and how to intervene. I think knowing when to seek treatment (in his case, usually the ER) and how to present the problem to healthcare providers who weren't familiar with his history was crucial.
Find out as much as you can about your situation so you can make the most informed decisions possible. Good luck to you.