Scared Pre Surgery? - You are not alone! ....... Please everyone respond

In this discussion
Replies
19
Views
568
Jayne

Today an email came through - which I feel I can only help by posting the Question openly in forum ..

AND this  is FOR EVERYONE - SO PLEASE RESPOND

 

The emailed question:

"I understood some of that, but now my brain is full. I am having eye surgery Monday, and am SO scared. It s like shopping for home owners insurance. They ask me questions, and I have NO idea how to find out, and nobody to help me. If you don't know anything, how do you know who or what to ask?"

 

{The questioner did not say what post she had read - her Question is NOT sent as any response to any private from me ..... so Maybe this was after reading one of my posts that relate to preparing for surgery?]

 

This is what was written as my reply to the Question:

>>>> 
I USE THE FORWARD ARROWS AS THE EMAIL SOFTWARE DOES NOT ALLOW FOR LINE BREAKS ..... SO I HOPE THEY MAY HELP AN EASIER READ>>>>>
>>>>>>

The First step is to just STOP! >>>
I might suggest that it may be a good idea to post your  Question perhaps like this, to the General MAO Membership:

 

>>>
I am due to have Eye Surgery on Monday - which is very very close now - and I am scared, because I do not feel I know WHAT QUESTIONS specifically, I need to ask, AND WHO I Need to ask. >>>
I know this Site focusses on ostomy related knowledge and shared experiences, BUT DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS REGARDING MY UPCOMING EYE SURGERY? >>>
>>>   >>>   >>>

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

My own reply goes on to say this:

 

 

I have very little knowledge of eyes- AND ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE OF EYE SURGERY - and as such it would be unwise to suggest anything specific.>>>
Have you tried searching on the net for your particular diagnosis and the also specific searches covering the words on your Admission notes in respect of the said eye surgery that you mention you are soon to have?

Your Question is best addressed by looking at your own Health Notes, and then maybe drawing up on paper your concerns - AND THEN ACTUALLY FORMULATING YOUR QUESTIONS AND EMAILING THEM TO YOUR PROFESSIONALS DEALING WITH YOUR EYE SUERGERY.>>>>
Hope you find the quietness - one step at a time - to define what elements are making you feel scared ---->>>
The chances are that Your Professional Team will be used to their patients having these concerns and they WILL BE ABLE TO SPEND TIME ANSWERING YOU.>>>

IF FOR ANY REASON YOU ARE UNABLE TO ASK ANY QUESTION _ JUST TELL YOUR TEAM THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO ASK .....

AND IF NOBODY IS PREPARED TO GO THROUGH WITH YOU STEP BY STEP - AND IN WRITING - SO YOU CAN REVIEW WHAT IS SAID/WRITTEN.............
THEN PLEASE DELAY UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS INVOLVED AND DO NOT SIGN ANY CONSENT TO TREATMENT UNTIL YOU DO UNDERSTAND.

Hope this Helps

BEst Wishes

Jayne

PS FORGIVE ME PLEASE BUT I AM GOING TP POST THIS ON THE FORUM SO OTHERS MAY HELP AND ENDORSE WHAT THEY FEEL IS APPROPRIATE ACTION.

I send Blessings.

HUGS.

Please understand that I have no medical or professional ability to advise .... so suggest that you you 

THROW OPEN YOUR QUESTION TO THE FORUM!

Bill

Hello Jayne.
Thank you for posting this email and inviting us to reply. Interestingly, I was due to have eye surgery myself last month, but developed a dreadful cold and infected eyes, so it has been postponed until the 3end of February.
I think your response to the email is admirable and there is not much I could add other than asking the question - What, more precisely is the surgery.? 
that would inform us as to the context and what questions might be useful.

As you say, a lot of information can be found online and from there questions may arise. What I found was that most sites have a 'frequently asked questions' section, which is very handy if you cannot think them up for yourself. 

My biggest concern was the offer of having either one eye done or both at once. I wanted to know if and when I would be able to see again, to tend to my stoma needs. This question still hasn't been answered satisfactorily, but they assure me that I will have the choice and they will try to answer this question on the day.
As with all surgical procedures, there are risks and I have been looking for a list of these risks on the various sites dealing with my proposed operation. I have also been discussing the problems and procedures with people who I know have already had the operation done. 
It is understandable if your correspondent has reservations and would like to know what questions other people would ask and I hope my small contribution might help in this respect.
Best wishes

Bill
 

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,278 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

AlexT

My eyes hurt from reading all that. 😬😁

kittybou
Reply to AlexT

,🙀🤓

Mysterious Mose

Your correspondent does not mention what type of eye surgery. I have had many surgeries/procedures on my eyes in the last 26 years. I have been extremely nearsighted since birth and have been wearing glasses since I was 4. I opted for LASIK surgery on both eyes that corrected both my myopia and astigmatism (both extreme). This was in 1998 and a bit before "Hey, Google". The ophthalmologist explained the surgery to me in detail and gave me hand-outs to read. I understood, going in, there would be a saw involved and it would slice open my cornea. He also explained that the astigmatism correction had not quite received the government approval needed, so he was smuggling in the chips from the Bahamas. I kid you not. Being a spry young lad of 49, I said what the hell. Long story short, I had a blessed 5-6 years glasses free. A whole new world for me. One I appreciated every morning when I woke up and could read the alarm clock.

Anyway, that surgery was followed up by another one on my left eye to attempt to fix the over correction that guy did in the first place. That did not work, but I was still glasses free until the astigmatism started coming back, as it is wont to do. I started wearing glasses again, but could (and still can) operate without them. Compared to what I had in 1997, that is.

In 2013, I had cataract surgery in both eyes. More lasers. A walk in the park compared to LASIK.

In 2015, I suffered a torn retina in my left eye. That was quickly fixed by my ophthalmologist via more laser surgery. Again, it was explained to me what would be done. But being an emergency, there wasn't a lot of time to ruminate.

In 2016, that same left retina decided it wanted to detach. More emergency laser surgery. This time under heavier anesthetic. Of course, that resulted in a week face down. Not sure I would like to do that again with an ileostomy.

I retired on the 31st of August 2018. On the 1st of September, I suffered another detached retina. Right eye this time. There went another week face down. The first week of my retirement. Oh well.

Anyway, that is the story of my eyes. As I said, I am not sure what your correspondent is looking for. Today, there is a raft of information available online. But, any surgeon worth his or her salt will give you detailed information on what they are going to do. You're in the UK. Maybe it's different there?

I would be glad to answer any particular questions your correspondent may have. Again, I don't know what type of surgery is being proposed. Maybe something entirely different than what I have experienced. Frankly, they all tend to run together in my mind anymore. :-)

Daniel

 
Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
Beachboy

Among my many surgeries over the decades...one stands out.

About 2 years after my stage 4 thyroid cancer surgeries, I discovered a huge bump in my right clavicle.  A biopsy was planned.  My vascular surgeon decided to not use general anesthesia, instead he would numb the area and do it while I was awake.

I laid on the table in the operating room, shirt unbuttoned.  He numbed me up and started cutting.  After a few minutes, he said the tumor was deeper than he thought.  He continued digging away.  I was starting to feel it.  There was a knock on the door.  A nurse yelled out, "Dr G, are you in here?"  He yelled back that he was busy.  She kept knocking and telling him to open the door.  He told her firmly "I'm BUSY."  

Well... she kept knocking and yelling she needed to speak with him.  He got PISSED.  And screamed "I'm busy Dammit!"  Meanwhile he's making little progress obtaining a tumor sample.  He starts really digging.  Now I'm in pain.  I told him it's OK, we'll finish this some other time.  "No" he grunted... I'll get it.  I had blood all over, and was in severe pain.... and the nurse kept calling him.  He was screaming obscenities back at her.  Finally I screamed at him to F.....ING  STOP.  So he did.  He gave me some gauze, and stormed out.  I heard the huge argument that ensued.  I got off the table, found some medical tape, cleaned up a little.  Asked for the doc...  they called him many times.. but he didnt show up.  So, I went home.  Crazy.

Mysterious Mose
Reply to Beachboy

I hope you were able to find out what was so important that the doctor felt he should ignore the Hippocratic Oath. I sure hope he saved someone's life. Even so, someone should have had enough presence of mind to tend to the abandoned patient.

Daniel

Jayne
Reply to Beachboy

BB,

 

I AM SIMPLY AMAZED THAT AN INCISION OF SUCH A NATURE - excision of cancerous material - WAS DONE UNDER A LOCAL ANASTHETIC

 

But then, most biopsies are locally isolated.

Also limb surgery too at times.

I have experienced such within my own history - ie local anethesia for certain interventive surgery.

 

It is amazing you did not pass out - "UNBELIEVABLE" ...... except for the fact that you have actually shared this .....  Bless You.

 

I am ever amazed what the human psyche is able to withstand!

 

Nowadays most of the stuff we go through is documented - albeit not signed off necessarily by the subject about whom it is written!

 

There is protocol.

And there is Protocol.

 

Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

BW

Jayne
Reply to kittybou

It is good those who ARE able to share their own experience of Eye Surgery may reach those who need to find information when facing upcoming Surgery:

I think it is important we can all ASK the extensive Memebership and reach out for a response from someone who is able to help with specifics.

Best Wishes

Hope all goes well.

No sunglasses here - its night time in the UK :-)

 

Jayne
Reply to Mysterious Mose

Daniel,

 

,

Thanks for your contributions - As I was unable to help personally, I posted to the Wider Membership ....

Your own contributions will, I am sure be valued - I was not posting on behalf of myself in the UK:

The Correspondent is a Memeber here - and lists as resident in the United States - hence I posted openly for Memebership participation.

 

 

 

:-)

 

BW

Jayne

Beachboy
Reply to Mysterious Mose

Well Daniel...  I never did find out what the nurse wanted.  This was an HMO type hospital, so the standard of care was not great.  But the story didn't end there.....

A couple of weeks later, Dr G calls and said he would remove the tumor surgically.  So the appointed day comes.  I'm admitted to the hospital, finish all the paperwork, assigned a room, get gowned up and am soon wheeled off to the surgery prep/waiting area.  An anesthesiologist soon joins me and asks which arm do I want the IV.  I choose left arm.  He fumbles trying to stick a vein, and infiltrates my arm... huge bruise.  He mumbles.. sorry, and goes to the other arm.  Does the same damn thing!  I am livid.  I start yelling at him... "There's NO way you are putting me under"  Nurses run over, try to calm me down.  Dum-ass anesthesiologist leaves.  A nurse manages to get the IV correctly working.  Then I'm left alone, with 2 jacked up arms.  

There are 5 other people waiting to be wheeled off to surgery.  We start chatting.  "What are you in for?"  Soon we're talking like long lost pals.  One by one they are taken away.  Soon I'm the only one left.  Time passes.  My IV runs out.  A nurse puts on another.  I ask her "when am I going in... I've been here awhile."  She trots off to check.  

Soon she's back.  Disconnects the IV, and I'm wheeled back to my room.  The surgeon... was no where to be found.  They called his house, his office.. vanished.

So I got dressed and went to the waiting room to tell my wife and go home.  She was completely baffled and upset.

A week later the hospital called and arranged for me to have surgery.  I was not "nice" on the phone.  Turns out the surgeon was called away for some emergency, (probably golfing), and failed to inform the hospital.

So finally the tumor was removed.  No complications.  A week later I had an appointment with the Doc for pathology results.  My wife and I meet with him.  He tells me "sorry it's thyroid cancer that has spread.  I can't offer you any hope, there's no treatment."  My poor wife just "loses it."  We had been married less than 2 years.  I had told her about my previous surgeries and radiation treatment, and confidently assured her I was good, and wouldn't be bothered by the cancer.  Well... I misjudged that a little.

So I got mad at the doctor and told him "You're wrong!  I know my cancer and myself.  I'll be fine."  

And that was about 35 years ago. 😉

Beachboy
Reply to Jayne

Hi Jayne,

Fortunately I have high tolerance for pain.  I've had over 10 major surgeries over the decades.  My first surgery was thyroid removal.  8 hours 45 min.  Spent time in  lntensive care.  Cancer had grown around a jugular vein.  When surgeon removed it, vein burst.  Somehow he fixed it.  But I lost a lot of blood.  Ended up with nasty looking surgical wound, stitched from my Adam's apple to my ear.  I refused all pain meds.  Finally after a couple of days, a nurse talked me into a shot of Demerol.  Was like a warm cloud floating thru my body.  But that was it.  No more pain meds.. I toughed it out.

Years later I had lung surgery to remove a wayward tumor.  Later when a huge drain tube was removed, nurse had put morphine in my IV.  I didn't know it.  My wife showed up soon after, and I said "I feel great, I'm gonna walk around the floor."  So I got out of bed, pushing my IV stand, strolled around.  Then.... the morphine wore off.  OMG! Was I in pain.  Nurses had to help me back to my room.  Wife thought it was somewhat funny.

Jayne
Reply to Beachboy

BB,

 

Yes, we all do what we feel is best - and like you I try not to take pain medication  - and when I do it is the serious 'controlled' kind of morphine based relief - VERY RARLY - AND ONLY WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY .... not available through repeat persciption!.

Like most things in medicine - there are various schools of thought - and more modern treatment methods - especially following surgery, involve involuntary pumps of pain relief actually delivering medication directly to the sites of intervention - rather than through a general circulation of ingested chemical carried around our circulatory stream - and also we are personally provided with  pain pumps where we can suppliment the default delivery to a certain extent, when required.

 

I find, as one becomes more 'worn' [aged] with perhaps less 'reserve' upon which to call - a certain 'frailty' becomes apparent .... and whilst I am a very mind-over-matter person, I also have learnt over time to find a quite place within the heart of chaos where a calmness may be cultivated - but such balances are never easy to maintain, indefinately!.

 

The equal and opposite is also true for me too, whereby at times, I adopt the 'sheer grit' mentality and power myself through stuff - extending my tolerances to the max - and then 'collapse ' at the end of such process, for alas, I find one can not sustain such focussed effort / intent, indefiniately.  And BALANCE IS ALL ..... BUT THE MOST DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN AT TIMES!

 

LIKE YOURSELF, SOME OF US HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME HARD CALLS - AND OLD METHODS OF TREATMENT, EXPERIMENTATION AND LONG EXTENDED ON-WARD HOSPITAL STAYS IN RELATIVE 'BASIC' CONDITIONS: WHICH  ARE, THANKFULLY, AT LEAST IN THE WESTTERN WORLD, LARGELY, A THING OF THE PAST .....

Unless that is, Others know differently!

 

 

You are a strong Soul BB - May you keep on , keeping on!

 

BW

 

JAYNE

Beachboy
Reply to Jayne

Very good response about the various aspects of pain and pain management.  

I always manage to "bare it."  But as I get older, it is very hard.  My stay last year in the hospital was the worst.  I reached my limit.  I was spiraling toward doom.

Waking up after surgery, for the first time in 2 months... had no pain.  I laid there just luxuriating in the feeling.  Simply amazing.  

One other memory that will never leave me:  I had not ate anything for a month.  Just received TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) via IV(PICC).  Next day after surgery, I got to drink warm chicken broth.  It was the most wonderful thing I've ever tasted.  I almost cried.

Jayne
Reply to Beachboy

BB,

 

Now THAT I Can really feel - For I too had deepline feeeding ......

And the first real taste in the mouth [after weeks and weeks of a damp swab to keep the inner mouth from sticking together ......  IS JUST SOMETHING ELSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

BW

 

Jayne

Jayne

BB,

 

You know you were expressing a while back, in open posting, how somethings are never able to be to talked about ..............

 

Well, it is beginning to seem to me, that at some point, we reach a place ...... where we just , finally, surrender.

 

And by 'surrender' I do not mean Give Up - No ... but a gentle relief begins to come when we begin to explore our release of stuff.

 

Earlier today I added a trailor to an earlier post and actually found myself, able to begin that process - by sharing, on here - and finding within myself, an early experience of venturing to 'let out' that which, for years one has kept - tightly, buried, inside!

 

A certain former type of 'bravado' gets set aside .... for a time ..... whilst time is 'suspended', somehow.

 

I don't think its just a process of getting old [or 'old-er'] - I think that just maybe, somewhere we suddenly begin to realise that we need not carry this burden ......

 

The Old classic tale of the Pilgrim - climbing to the old wise Sage's cave, high up on the mountain side, along perilous narrow and loose stoney tracks, and upon entering it, at the mouth of the narrow ledged cave, taking off ones shoes, and letting down the 'bundle' one carries.  And walking with a kind of 'suspended' relief and awe into the body of the inner cave ......

 

Well, the concept, and the very often true analagy, of spending some realisation and relief, whilst unburdening sharing one's  inner most cares with  the 'Sage' ....

And then, after a cetain time has passed, there comes the time to move; and, upon leaving, when it is time to go .....

The sage invites the Pilgrim to select any one of the many bundles at the mouth of the cage.

 

And so the classic selection, from a multi choice of possibility - ends with the pilgrim, picking up the exact same bundle that was carried upon entry ..... and put down off the back at the mouth of the cave!

BUt now, after reflection, the bundle is perceived as a 'fitting' bundle for future travels.

 

 

......................

 

Yet, THIS NEED NOT BE THE CASE!

 

All of us DO, I feel, Have the opportunity - maybe just once in our lifetimes - to let go and surrender all that we carry - and become light, of vision and of weight, and in Trust and Hope for the future ....  we take tentative steps ....

without carryimg forward the bundens of our passed experiences.

 

 

It 's scarey, at first, but little by little, one step at a time - or maybe with one quantum leap .....

we CAN listen to our Knowing Self ......

and truly encounter FREEDOM!

 

BW

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jayne

 

.....

And you know what, this is not airy-fairy stuff either ..... its actually quite simple ..... but the knack may be,  is not to be scared out of simplicity hey ?

 

Quite a frail and new era ... at first .............

But I wish to see where it may lead!

 

 

 

ANd now, its time for me to sleep!

Beachboy
Reply to Jayne

Yes!  Almost forgot about the damp sponge lollipop.  Fell asleep once with one in my mouth...woke up with it stuck to my face.

Nurse used to give me a single TUMS just so I could chew on something.

And the inspiration breath machine.  I hated that thing.  My wife used to pester me to use it.  Could only get the ball half way up.

Other thing I really hated... bed alarm.  Had to call a nurse when I needed to go to the bathroom.  But when I called.... I had to go NOW.  Unfortunately nurses took their time coming to my room.  I had a few close calls....

Jayne
Reply to Beachboy

Yep,

 

and apart from focussing the blowing out as you breath in - Reverse Breathing [They tell me its harderfor a woman - don;t know why - but apparently men are able to do this more easily ............

LAst surgery towards the end of '23 .... I spent most of the day in ICu just getting the hang of reverse breathing - so I intend to practice prior to this next upcoming one BEFORE admission and hopefully it may be a little easier .....

 

For those unfamiliar with reverse breathing - it helps to clear ones lungs .... which can become a complication if not addressed by the patient to help with this kind of breathing.

 

 

Well, I guess I really must get some shut eye - way passed my bedtime!

 

 

BW

 

to ALL

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jayne

 

 

kittybou
Reply to Beachboy

Yep, nothing better than having someone stroll into your room after waiting half an hour and ask "what chew want"  after that, I just got up and let the alarm go off. 

Beachboy

My most memorable late night bathroom run:  Before acquiring my colostomy, I  suffered diarrhea for 2 months.  Was pooping every hour.  Sometimes forcefully.  About 2 am, the urge came over me.  I fumbled to find the damn TV/nurse call remote.  Nurse answered and said someone would be right over.  I waited, and waited.  The "urge to purge" grew more insistent.  I twisted and turned.  Did NOT want to poop in the bed.  Really had to concentrate on holding my skinny butt cheeks together.  Finally a nurses aide arrives, turns off the bed alarm.  I litterly jump out of bed, unplug the IV power cord, and head for the toliet ASAP.  Aide opens the bathroom door, pushes in the IV unit, as I hurry inside.  Toliet had a plastic stool collection dohickey in it.  I hastily throw it in the shower.  As I start to sit down, the Aide stops me.  In my haste, IV tubes were tangled around me, I couldn't sit without pulling out the IV's.  Meanwhile Mr butt is screaming "you will poop NOW!"  Quickly the Aide spins me around, tubes untangle, I'm cussing up a storm.  Barely get the gown down, start to sit when.... kaboom!  Poor Nurses Aide didn't have time to escape.  I imagine he's still undergoing therapy 😁

All times are GMT - 5 Hours