Welcome to MeetAnOstoMate.org
Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:29 pm
Guys, especially the thin, athletic and handsome ones, why do y'all cheat after being intimate with a female ostomate? Am I just meeting the creeps out there? Then they lie 'cause they "...don't want to hurt our feelings" how gentlemenly of them! Guys, what do you think? Interview your guy friends to investigate what that's all about, especially the ones that introduce us to their families, say they love us, take us out to nice dates before sex then after they get it...run? Where are the quality guys out there? Do they have to have "a few exra pounds" to finally be non-judgemental? Am I being judgemental 'cause I won't date a guy who's wheelcair bound, weighs 300 lbs, sits on the couch all day drinking and has a gut larger than a last trimester pregnant woman? I can date an amputee, scars everywhere, even ones with no teeth as long as they wear dentures and yes...a bag too! So what's the double-standard? e onl
Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:40 am
Well..........all I can say is,.......a Cheater is a Cheater.........PERIOD. :/
I am sorry you have been hurt dear xoxoxo............. Ostomy or not.........missing limbs, scars, wheelchairs, fat, thin, short, tall, one eyeball, three heads,......green skin and Alien Antenna sticking out their noggin'.......doesn't matter......a Cheater is a Cheater........
.....no one is perfect but this sounds like one of those situations where some people thrive on living that way and getting their new exciting 'fixes' that way, ..... for some, it can be an addction.....sadly..........and I have never been fully able to decide if they need therapy or a good swift boot sunk deep up their butt........but the most important thing for yourself is to move on.
Forgive if you wish, but then allow the anger, pain and humiliation to pass honey because it only destroys yourself inside, and obviously that is no good and it allows that person to continue to hurt you in the form of an extended emotional wound.........March onward along your own path and know that someone new is always going to be waiting for you, someone who is right for you........not everyone Cheats.........sometimes it is difficult to keep that in mind, but it's true.
Always take the time you need to gather yourself back together........Center Yourself......and as I recently again had to remind one of my girlfriends, and literally took her by the hand and pulled her out of her house to have some fun and lift her out of her depression, (and having the slightly crazy goofy sillyness about me I begin to actually clownishly sing to her while making faces LOL) ...remember little Blue Fish from the movie Finding Nemo........ "Just Keep Swimming" .....lol...........
Seriously hope this vid shows up so you know what I'm talking about..........lol
Getting hurt is no laughing matter..........but the symbolism is there, in 'getting yourself back on track' and again in a happier state of mind after ANY upsetting crap life hands out, ....gotta have a little humour once in awhile...........trust me, I've really been through a battlefield with lousy stuff too xoxo........just keep swimmin.
(...there's lots of fish in the sea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA
~Love from your Doe
I am sorry you have been hurt dear xoxoxo............. Ostomy or not.........missing limbs, scars, wheelchairs, fat, thin, short, tall, one eyeball, three heads,......green skin and Alien Antenna sticking out their noggin'.......doesn't matter......a Cheater is a Cheater........
.....no one is perfect but this sounds like one of those situations where some people thrive on living that way and getting their new exciting 'fixes' that way, ..... for some, it can be an addction.....sadly..........and I have never been fully able to decide if they need therapy or a good swift boot sunk deep up their butt........but the most important thing for yourself is to move on.
Forgive if you wish, but then allow the anger, pain and humiliation to pass honey because it only destroys yourself inside, and obviously that is no good and it allows that person to continue to hurt you in the form of an extended emotional wound.........March onward along your own path and know that someone new is always going to be waiting for you, someone who is right for you........not everyone Cheats.........sometimes it is difficult to keep that in mind, but it's true.
Always take the time you need to gather yourself back together........Center Yourself......and as I recently again had to remind one of my girlfriends, and literally took her by the hand and pulled her out of her house to have some fun and lift her out of her depression, (and having the slightly crazy goofy sillyness about me I begin to actually clownishly sing to her while making faces LOL) ...remember little Blue Fish from the movie Finding Nemo........ "Just Keep Swimming" .....lol...........
Seriously hope this vid shows up so you know what I'm talking about..........lol
Getting hurt is no laughing matter..........but the symbolism is there, in 'getting yourself back on track' and again in a happier state of mind after ANY upsetting crap life hands out, ....gotta have a little humour once in awhile...........trust me, I've really been through a battlefield with lousy stuff too xoxo........just keep swimmin.
(...there's lots of fish in the sea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA
~Love from your Doe
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MeetAnOstoMate is not a typical ostomy website but rather a vibrant multi-topic community where people have fun, discuss various things, and give each other love and support.
Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:17 am
Thanks for the advice and kind words, Doe. After being alone for a while, I'm more discriminating on who has those traits of being a cheater and have grown wiser because of it. I don't regret the times I had because it made me stronger and wiser as who has the "cheater traits" and fun times during those tough lessons learned. Love your profile. It's great when we can connect with other ostomates, especially about the dating dramas we all deal with when it comes to intimacy and rejection. Just beginning a new relationship and am terrified to 'consumate' the relationship due to fear of rejection, but I'm a pro at it so here I go again...wish me luck!.
Mon Jul 22, 2013 12:21 am
Hi I'm a guy. I have an ostomy. I was just thinking maybe they (males) are just not committed to any relationship and that means they do whatever to get sex and then move on. They then go through the same stuff in their heads, to get sex and move on. I think with my sexual partners that they haven't been committed to me because of my ostomy. That its the same thinking only with a woman sleeping with me then having an excuse to move on. wow....I don't even want to go backwards with women in my life, I'm just hoping to meet someone who is compatible. I guess to what you are meaning that some people may not find ostomys attractive as you don't find overweight wheelchair bound people attractive however those with scars or missing limbs are attractive so i'm saying that everyone finds different things attractive in their sexual partner, just some are users who work to get what they want and don't care about what they cause as a result of their choices. These seem to be the challenges of any relationship between two people, the challenges to think about for those who are wanting relationships and trying to make life work. i hope your life is working for you.
Bye
Bye
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MeetAnOstoMate is not a typical ostomy website but rather a vibrant multi-topic community where people have fun, discuss various things and give each other love and support.
Tue Jul 23, 2013 1:33 pm
Miss Living,
I used to be handsome, thin, athletic and all those things you mentioned. I've always been a dirtball, though, when it has come to having sex with as many good looking women as possible. To my way of thinking, though, it's just DNA's way of making more DNA. I can't help it if I'm just along for the ride.
I would suggest, though, that a lot of the problem is the person (you) doing the choosing. It sounds as if you are getting a lot better at that, too. Remember, practice makes perfect. I wouldn't worry too much about the bag turning any man off. In fact I would encourage you to use it in an attempt to rule out the ones you wouldn't want anyway. Does that make sense?
As long as you ride motorcycles and look as cute as you do you will continue to attract a LOT of men. But only a small proportion will come even close to your expectations. Don't let that keep you from looking. You WILL find him, I guarantee it!
I used to be handsome, thin, athletic and all those things you mentioned. I've always been a dirtball, though, when it has come to having sex with as many good looking women as possible. To my way of thinking, though, it's just DNA's way of making more DNA. I can't help it if I'm just along for the ride.
I would suggest, though, that a lot of the problem is the person (you) doing the choosing. It sounds as if you are getting a lot better at that, too. Remember, practice makes perfect. I wouldn't worry too much about the bag turning any man off. In fact I would encourage you to use it in an attempt to rule out the ones you wouldn't want anyway. Does that make sense?
As long as you ride motorcycles and look as cute as you do you will continue to attract a LOT of men. But only a small proportion will come even close to your expectations. Don't let that keep you from looking. You WILL find him, I guarantee it!
Mon Aug 05, 2013 2:44 am
I have been wishing you much luck girl! xoxo I finally have a bit more internet time again for awhile and it took me awhile to re-find this thread! I am hoping all is going well for you??? Just take it all slow, if you have enough value to him, he will wait until you are ready.....if you end up getting disrespected and cheated again ( I hope not ) ...then he isn't worth more time, nor any tears.
I am hoping you are happy, healthy and doing very well!!
~Doe
I am hoping you are happy, healthy and doing very well!!
~Doe
| Spiritual Living wrote: |
| Thanks for the advice and kind words, Doe. After being alone for a while, I'm more discriminating on who has those traits of being a cheater and have grown wiser because of it. I don't regret the times I had because it made me stronger and wiser as who has the "cheater traits" and fun times during those tough lessons learned. Love your profile. It's great when we can connect with other ostomates, especially about the dating dramas we all deal with when it comes to intimacy and rejection. Just beginning a new relationship and am terrified to 'consumate' the relationship due to fear of rejection, but I'm a pro at it so here I go again...wish me luck!. |
Wed Jun 04, 2014 3:37 pm
| Spiritual Living wrote: |
| Guys, especially the thin, athletic and handsome ones, why do y'all cheat after being intimate with a female ostomate? Am I just meeting the creeps out there? |
I hope this hasn't happend to you too many times. I'd like to say you're just having bad luck. Cheating (along with lying) are some of the wrost human traits we can have. It completely destroys trust and reduces personal integrity to ashes.
I can only suggest that you date for a while before having sex with someone (if you're looking for a long-term relationship), that way you know that they are sticking around for other reasons and aren't just looking to "hit it and quit it".
