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Re: earlier post on "Does anyone ever meet"

Posts:9
 
Well I have chatted with a couple of people, but have yet to land a date.  I thought I was articulate, pic was ok, profile short and sweet.  OH WELL. RAY.
 
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Like in real life, it takes work. a little give and take. like if you were hooking up at a bar.

Personally, i am here for friendly correspondence because talking with other ostomates helps me cope. Meet-ups are not off the table, but they are not required.
Posts:485
 


Fella,  I  think  that  you  will  find  that  this  is  not  the  best  site  for dating...........
Posts:9
 
I do read some of the forums, as many are informative, but have moved on from being the man with the bag.  however, I am positive people have met in here.  It is always in the back of some peoples minds,, maybe not yours particularly.  I guess this means I cant expect a date....ray

 
Hey Ray.......The answer to question is YES. You can meet people here and YES you can date, but as Christiesdad and Sinfuslot stated, it's no different than any other "Relationship"site.

We all assume... there has to be a REALLY big benefit to use this site as a possible "relationship" catalyst, because of  the "physical common denominators".

The truth is........... it does allow you to feel more comfortable and  tends to prevoke a (possibly false) sense of safety and ("as yet", un-earned or deserved trust"), when opening yourself up to "total strangers". Talking from experiance,  if a person was a B-Hole "pre-illness", most likely....they're still B-Holes .....(UGH!!!!)

I'd never say "give up" on the possibilty of a "REAL" love connection, as you are a very attractive man......................but I would recommend you try and keep it as close to home as possible. Long distance relationships are VERY difficult under the best of situations.

Most importantanly, "Don't Limit Yourself". I've had the best relationship with "regular ole people" who see "me",..... NOT me, with a bag. The one ostomate I've dated, turned out to be MUCH more judgmental, "in EVERY respect"......so keep your options open my friend.

Oh and "Welcome to our Community" Hope you're well.  It's very nice to meet you and I wish you only the best in your search.
BEG
Posts:436
 
Well said BEG!
Posts:9
 
thank you BEGirl, well thought out.  I have been on this sight off and on for 7 or 8 years now and enjoy popping in to see and hear...ray.
Posts:15
 
I met what has turned out to be the love of my life 2 years ago.  We met on the site, met in person in North Carolina.  A couple of motorcycle rides and then I was on my way back to Florida.  We started corresponding, then seeing each other, and now she has moved to Florida and we have been together ever since.  True soul mates.  
Obviously something big in common, which helps.  I could never go on a date with someone else, especially only for the second time, have multiple blow outs and leaks one right after the other, and expect anyone else to really understand.  Made for the most interesting date I've ever had, her too.
We both have ileostomies, hers is Stella, mine is Studley  They get along well.  Someday we'll write a book about our experiences so far.  It's been a great couple of years and there are many more to come.
Our ostomies obviously help in understanding each other but when you truly find the one part of you that has been missing all your life, anything else doesn't really matter.  The right person is out there for everyone.  If it is meant to be it will happen, they will come to you when you least expect it.  Good luck, Stella, Studley and Jack(the dog without an ostomy)!
Posts:9
 
Well said Lowfly.  I can see why a certain level of comfort is, for the most part, more assured, when the whole bag issue isn't the concern.  ray.

 
that's so sweet! and i'm so glad you two met in my home state!!
Posts:8
 
Hi! Ray,

I have not met anyone. Hmmm! I was sure hoping too. Nice to meet u Ray.

Jodie
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