I was single for over 8 months before I had my urostomy surgery.  I've always suffered with slightly lower than normal self-esteem and fear of rejection.  Then, since my urostomy surgery, I've all but totally given up hope of ever finding love again.  It's not just the urostomy.  Sure, most people could live with a bag attached to a mate.  But what scares me into not giving myself the chance to meet that special someone is the fact that some nerves were clipped when my bladder was removed, and therefore I am not able to achieve an erection for the rest of my life.  And of course, I'm convinced that no woman would be able to go the rest of their lives without intercourse.  Sure, I hear all the time how there are millions of women out there who would not be bothered by my lack of erection, and also lots of my friends remind me that there is more to sex than just intercourse.  I know this.  I hear this.  But where are all those women?  Maybe part of my problem is that I've been cheated on in the past a couple times, which pretty much scarred my heart for life.  What I mean is, if loved ones have cheated for "better sex" (that's all I could figure out as the reason they cheated) and I wasn't good enough for them then, why would I find a woman who would be happy with me as I am now?  I lost a large portion of my trust.  I keep telling myself that a woman might try to convince me that the lack of intercourse is NOT going to bother her, but wonder how long it would be before they had "needs" and went out and cheated?  It's for this reason that I hope and pray that I will meet my soulmate either in church or in an ostomy forum like this!  Those two types, Christian and/or ostomate, would be much more likely to accept me for the person I am inside my heart and not judge me for what I'm not on the outside.
I know I'm a very good person.  I don't cut myself down very often, but I certainly can.  I can think of a lot of things a woman wouldn't like about me.  But, inside I'm better than many of the male friends I've known for years.  I've always been told I'm good looking and have nice eyes.  I write beautiful poetry.  I do beautiful photography.  I'm monogamous, I'm not a cheater, I don't abuse women, I'm not a pervert, I'm not a psycho, I'm caring, compassionate, gentle, romantic, trustworthy, honest, great with kids, I'm a church-going Christian, and the list goes on and on.  See?  I am a good person, and I deserve a good woman.
So what's the problem then?  I sure can't figure it out.  I've been a member of this site for a couple years.  I joined right after my surgery in December 2006.  Then left for a month or so, then came back.  Not once have I ever MET an ostomate from this site.  I've chatted with ONE and talked on the phone with ONE, but 98% of the women who I've sent messages to never replied.  And I figured this would be the perfect site to meet that special someone, because they would understand what I have to go through for the rest of my life and that I'm NOT a freak of nature.  But no such luck.
Not sure what I'm doing wrong, but nothing seems to be working.  I've tried for the last 3 years to post personal ads online, but haven't met even one woman that way!  It seems the minute anyone finds out about my urostomy I never hear from them again.  I'm too shy and embarrassed about my urostomy to go out to public places to meet women.  Before my surgery, I never ever had trouble finding women.  In fact I didn't have to look for them, they seemed to find me.  THAT is all history now.
So what do you folks do to meet that special someone?  How do you tell them about your bag?  How do your dress?  I have worn nothing but sweats since my surgery.  Jeans just don't work.
Maybe I need to go find a lake and start fishing! LOL!  With my luck, I'd meet a "widow" who turned out to be married.  Not funny, but that's how my luck usually goes too.
SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG! My fingers typed faster than my mind could tell them to slow down!