Seeking Advice on Finding Companionship at 60+


This may be a little long so bear with me. I am a 60-year-old male and will be 61 this year. I have a master's degree (not that it matters) and had a professional career. I had my ileostomy in 2007. The surgery went way bad, and I spent 3 months in the hospital. The surgeon really messed up and cut the nerves to my pelvic area, so now I have to use a catheter to urinate and can no longer get an erection even though my mind wants to. I also have Hepatitis C, which is inactive but technically still there. I was divorced several years ago and moved to a place just north of Dallas where I don't know anybody. I have relatives who live close to me, so I can do things with them, but they have their own lives, and I don't want to just hang with them. I have been married 4 times. I divorced twice and was divorced twice, so I guess that makes me even. I would like to find friends, both male and female. I would like to have a female live with me. Of course, the sex thing is something that can be gotten around by other means. I know everybody says hang in there, be patient, things will be alright. The thing is, I am not good at being single. Since I got out of the Navy in 1979, I have probably not been without female companionship for more than 3 months (until now). Some lasted a day, and some lasted over 10 years. I'm sure you get the point. I am financially independent and don't need somebody to pay my way, and I really don't want to pay someone else's way. Things don't have to be equal, but some contribution needs to be there. I believe in the teachings of Jesus but have not been to church in decades. I could start again, but I don't feel right going just to meet a mate. I like to do lots of things, don't smoke or overdrink. Due to a recent hospital stay for dehydration and a UTI, I am down a few pounds, but that will come back with time. Trust me, if you eat right, it's hard to put on pounds fast. To wrap this up, what advice or suggestions do you have for me? Both males and females can comment.


Hi Megalyman, I can't imagine having such a great attitude after all that you have been through! I guess I was one of the lucky ones. I had my ileostomy in 2004 and, knock on wood, I haven't had any problems. Well... I guess the one problem I had was some bacteria from the surgery damaged my mitral valve in my heart. So in 2005, I had to have a mechanical valve put in because of that, I am on blood thinners for the rest of my life. But I see people like you and my heart breaks. My husband and I have been separated since my surgery. We live in the same house, but on different floors and bedrooms. Unfortunately, we don't get along. My guilt keeps me here, but it is not a happy environment. I guess what I would suggest to you is to keep looking! This site seems good, there is also the MyCrohnsAndColitis website, which I am on. I have met some very nice people that might be able to give you some advice too! I truly believe that there is someone for everyone! So don't give up! Just be careful of people who would take advantage of you because you are lonely! Good luck!

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Thank you for responding. I would like to chat a little because you have me turning my head a bit about your situation. This is not an attempt to meet up with you, just an honest discussion about life and how to deal with it when you have big issues. Let me know if you are open to a chat.




Of course we can talk, Don! I am usually on at night. Is there a time difference between us? I live in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois.

My name is Robin! Feel free to message me anytime!


My name is Roberta Russell. I am 62 years old and I am looking for a relationship.

Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Well, if you can't at least post a profile, you probably are out of luck.

ron in mich

Hi Robin, what time at night do you usually come to the site?


Hi Ron, in Michigan tonight I will probably be on after 6pm.

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