Discussing Men's Post-Operative Concerns

Good day to all.

I would like to talk with someone concerning men's issues related to post and near-future operative concerns in this area.

Thanks very much,

Bobby

Hey Bobby, I can most likely answer any questions you might have. Slight complications are quite common following ostomy surgery, and there is always some risk of total loss of sexual function. There are a lot of nerve endings in your bum area, and the surgeon must cut around in there. In my case, I also had radiation in that spot. Luckily, most of my function came back. Remember, it may take some time as any nerves damaged heal slowly. I would estimate my current function at maybe 50% of what I had before surgery, but I'm also in my late 50s and 15 years post-op. You might ask your surgeon about "retrograde ejaculation" as it's a common symptom in ostomates. It's not as bad as it sounds. Good luck to you, and let me know if I can help with any more info.

It seems that you have to be one of the "In Crowd" to have been on this site to get a response to a post. Very sad.

Somebody did reply to most of your posts. I thought it was nice of MMSH to offer you help. Take what you can get.

I've had an ostomy for 40+ years (plus recent prostate and bladder removal). Happy to answer any questions.

My Ostomy Journey: Keyla | Hollister

My initial ileostomy surgery didn't seem to have any direct effects sexually once I got healthy again. However, when my health declined as my "rectal stump" was still diseased, my stamina went down too. I had the system removed (Barbie or Ken butt, as they call it), and that has had some lasting effects. I noticed fairly quickly that things just weren't right, and they never have been. Due to some lost sensation, sexual function is not what it used to be. This can (and has) been frustrating, but the wife and I have explored other avenues with some success and satisfaction, including pills and accessories. The other issue has been that I can't always empty my bladder as much as I need to, which leads to more frequent urination. This happens most often when I have been "holding" it for a long time, such as in the morning or such. For some reason, the muscles just won't relax, because other times when I just naturally get up and go, things flow just fine. No medication has been able to solve this.

Had the whole wazzoom removed last January after 18 years of Crohn's, which had finally turned cancerous. I can say the first few months were hell, but now 6 months later I feel like a kid again (49). I am playing tennis again and nothing was affected for me sexually. There was some numbness around my crotch area that initially had me worried, but that passed and the peen escaped unscathed. At first I thought maybe my bladder couldn't hold it in like before, but that passed too. The only other issue I am experiencing is joint ache from getting off 18 years of prednisone.

Why, Bobby, what a shock to see you apparently alive and well! I'm afraid I really can't offer you any advice regarding “Men's Concerns,” but I can certainly give you advice on how to be a man.

For starters, you don't patronize a website, befriending others and offering heartfelt advice, to suddenly announce to one and all that you have cancer. You don't tell people that you have decided not to have treatment, and you don't sit back and accept all those tearful and heartfelt condolences. You don't tell everyone that you are signing off to spend your remaining few days in the hospital and leave them all with nothing. No closure, no idea of what happened – just nothing.

That was a mean and despicable thing you did to all the folks over at Inspire who were nothing but kind and supportive to you. You should be ashamed of yourself! Are you even actually a retired Marine? You certainly aren't a hero.

I'm writing this to make sure you don't do the same thing to the people here at Meet an Ostomate. I happen to know that you are not a new Ostomate, and as a matter of fact, you aren't even new to this site. You already have an account here under the name “marine mgst,” so you're already busy feeding these people a line of bull.

I'm going to post a warning to all the people here so they don't get pulled into the same trap as the good folks over at Inspire.

What, you're still alive - how is that possible when you supposedly died on March 3rd, riddled with terminal cancer? Wow, you made a remarkable recovery for not having surgery or chemo for that terminal cancer.

Amazing how you left all your friends over at Inspire - you having your ostomy since 2015 and coming here alive after we all thought you died - and saying you are new to an ostomy. Do you really have one? I spent a year and a half being your friend - talking to you on the phone, and you even left me hanging, believing you died, never answering my phone messages - then I come on here to see you alive - boy, am I shocked. How dare you call yourself a true and faithful Marine.

Who does what you did? Telling us your wife died suddenly in January, so you had to travel to PA for her funeral - then days later you told us you lost so much weight because you were so sick because you found out you had terminal cancer - the last week of your life you told us that your entire family camped at your house the entire week to set the final resting place and all the funeral arrangements. Then you sent them home, all three children and grandkids, so you could check into the VA for your last days. Who tells lies like that and tries to get away with it? Only you that I know about.