Like to See You

In this discussion
Replies
8
Views
3473
Bassam

Can you please put a pic to see you

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,101 members. Get inside and you will see.

We're not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed in the forums.

It's a very special community, embracing all ages and backgrounds. People are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Browneyedgirl

I agree Bassam. Everyone likes to put a name with a face. It allows one to feel connected and more comfortable.

I don't know if it's a lack of mutual respect, trust issue or simply fear. We've certainly had scammers on our site before, so a photo doesn't insure honesty.....but I think we are all less trustful of hidden faces.

This site is for sharing with others living with the same fears, judgements and questions, all ;in hope of solutions and understanding.....there should be no reason to hide. We're here to come together as friends and supporters with common needs.

Come on everyone........You're champions!! Post those Proud Faces !!!!

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate
Bill

Hello everyone.

We had this discussion not so very long ago and I agree that I like to browse through the photo section and see faces of people who may or may not be their real ones. In browsing the photos, I notice that most of them show a snapshot of how good-looking people are and it is very pleasing for the viewer to see this. However, some people are not good looking, no matter how well posed they try to be for photo's. I like to read people's posts to get a feel of what they are like as people. I am not proud of the way I look so |I choose not to post pictures of myself. I hope that my decision of omission does not offend anyone too much but I believe that we all should have the option of making such decisions without emotional pressure being exerted to get us to change our minds.  

I also like to see the other photos people put up, as they can possibly portray the people and their personalities  more accurately than the faces/masks. Interestingly, I am drawn to look at the maps on their profiles to see where people live. I usually go into Google Earth so that I  can get a 'feel' for the landscape and imagine what sort of lifestyle that might encourage. All these things can be just as interesting and informative as the pictures that people want us to view.

Just an opinion!

Best wishes

Bill

Past Member

I don't have a current pic. I have tried to do on cell phone, not good at selfies. I would like to put up photo but until my daughter comes to town with her cameras and puter savy to load here just no photo. If I am to be judged as less trusting until then maybe I would be best to delete my profile. I have never tried to scam anyone here or anywhere in my life. I have put up posts and appreciated all replays. I have asked for nothing but emotional support and more knowledge and experience from those who can and have shared. Having ileostomy since February 26, 2016 I am the proverbial newbie just trying to learn. The help and tips I have gained here I don't get anywhere else. With tears in eyes and heart I somehow feel judged over a photo or lack of. I am taking a few days to think about staying on site. To those many who have helped more than they know I can't begin to thank you enough.

Bill

Hello CANN.

Thank you for your post expressing your feelings about this matter. I do hope that you are not put off by other people expressing their opinions because I don't think that they mean any ill-will by their comments. In this age of seemingly endless 'selfies', people like myself are sometimes viewed as eccentric, anti-social or simply wierd for not wanting to have photographs taken of themselves and even worse, not wanting them broadcast over the internet. Maybe if you think of it in a slightly different way it place it into a more acceptable context. What if people on here were insisting on everyone using their own names instead of pseudonyms ? Surely, exactly the same comments could be made in terms of 'trust', honesty etc. Nobody has yet objected to this practice in the same way that they want people to post photos but there is no logical reason why they should pick on one without highlighting the other.

As stated in my previous post, I like to look through the photos that have been posted. However, I'm not really bothered about whether they are really a true likeness of the people they are supposed to represent because I'm much more interested in what people say and how it reflects their personality. For a number of years I have been focussing my writing on the concept of 'bullying' so it will come as no surprise that I can percieve it emerging in many subtle and covert ways. One of the facets of bullying, seems to be when people try to get others to do things, that they would not otherwise do of their own free will. 

Many bullies do not even recognise that they are indulging in this practice because it is so widespread in our society that folks have come to see it as 'normal'. Some even view it as desirable and try to justify it in terms of their 'belief system' or what needs to be done - to get things done.

My attention has been drawn  to the way politicians have mastered the art and science of bullying by incorporating what they want people  to do in the lawas that they pass. I think it is particularly pertinent to the class-system in the UK where the ruling clases have, for centuries used the law to suit their own ends and to bully the lower classes into submitting to thier will.

The principles behind these practices can be seen manifesting themselves in all sorts of different ways. It is up to us to poiint this out and to express our opposition to it.

Best wixshes

Bill

 
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
Past Member

Hi CANN, sorry to see you have been upset by this post, hope you don't leave so you can get support and support other members.

I'm sure the poster didn't mean it to come across the way it does, sounds like an order from admin/group owners.... IT'S NOT

It's just suggestion by another member.....

It's entierly your choice if you post a photo of yourself it's not a requirment of the group.

I read posts but rarely comment, I've been a member for many years I used to have a photo but deleted it many years ago, my uglg mug broke to many computers lol.

Personally it dosen't bother me if someone dosen't trust me/thinks I'm a scammer because I have no profile photo it's there problem not mine, I wouldn't loose any sleep over it, hope you don't either :)

Primeboy

When I joined this site back in 2011, I was naturally apprehensive about uploading personal information on an unknown website. Because a photo was expected, I sent in a picture of Robert Redford. This deceit was standard practice among job seekers in those days based on a theory that ;this illegal practice ;might help get your foot in the door, if only for seconds. Anyway, no one believed that I was actually Robert Redford and I quickly came to appreciate this ;was also ;no place for illusions. People came to this site for help, whether to give or receive; and masquerading only interferred with openness. Pretty soon I posted a ;true mugshot, warts and all, and I began to have better quality dialog with the friends I made. Somewhere along the line I lost my fear of posting personal information and pictures on the internet, largely due to the quality of the people I found here. I even became comfortable inposting pictures of loved ones. At this stage in my life, now, I am OK with the cards I have been dealt. I don't care who knows about my ileosotomy or who doesn't. The benefits of being in touch with so many of you far outweigh any fear of disclosure. That didn't come easy at first, but after meeting so many brave souls, many were youngsters, who gladly accepted their ostomy lives, I had no choice. As time passed, I have come to understand that fellow ostomates want to know more about their peers; and information about age, sex, location, hobbies, and yes, even pictures, are very helpful in letting us get to know each other better. My bottom line on this issue is never do anything you're uncomfortable with, but learn to share wherever you can because the benefits ;can be ;measureless.

PB

Past Member

I am on the fence at this time about staying. I use my real first name here, and have decided I will not post photo, not sure I will even post but read ;instead. I came here for support and knowledge in a judgement free zone. Label me what you see fit, just don't judge others when they don't share your opinion, very grade school.

iMacG5

Hey CANN, your reservations regarding your picture brought out some very nice thoughts from Bill, PB and panther.  There’s no doubt these are bright people and, the fact they replied in their ways, defines them as considerate and compassionate.  They really care and that’s what this site is all about.  You will NOT be judged by these folks or ninety-nine and nine-tenths percent of the rest of the folks here at MAO for your reluctance to pose for us.  I’m also sure Browneyedgirl didn’t intend to make you uncomfortable.

Stay well and continue to contribute.  We need each other.

Respectfully,

Mike

All times are GMT - 5 Hours